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Anyone else lost a loved one to suicide?

J

jay01

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Jan 12, 2022
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Houston
I lost my mom in 2018 and found her in a very morbid way. I have severe ptsd and now ocd plus bipolar and anxiety. Just wondering if anyone can relate. Thanks.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Yes I lost my grandad when I was about 12 years old.
Still get triggered even today.
Probably have ptsd yet not diagnosed as yet.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
 
J

jay01

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Houston
I am so sorry for yours. Here if you need a friend, thanks so much for sharing <3
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Jay01,
Thank you so much, hope the forum helps you.
Hugs
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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I lost a dear friend on the 4th of July last year, she was so sweet and innocent, she didn't deserve the affliction that ultimately led to her suicide.

They played 'cover me in sunshine' by Pink at her funeral and now I can't listen to that song without shedding a tear, Pink was one of her favourite artists and any song I hear by her makes me remember my friend.

I know a friend doesn't exactly compare to a mother or grandfather but she was the closest person to me that has ever taken her own life and it leaves a hole in the heart that can never be filled again so I can only imagine the grief of those of you who have lost a very close family member to suicide.

I'm sorry for both of your losses and I'm sorry you were the one to find your mother jay01.
 
J

jay01

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Houston
@NWiddi I'm so sorry for your loss. A loved one is a loved one. I found her decomposed. And it's all my fucking fault
 
Zero One

Zero One

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@jay01 I am so sorry to hear about your loss and it must be terrible thinking you are to blame and seeing someone you love decomposed sounds like a nightmare. I tried to commit suicide three times--very serious attempts and I still lived. Before that I used to say I am living for my son but with severe schizoaffective disorder, bipolar I, PTSD, GAD, agoraphobia, and some other stuff, I could barely function and I was thinking everyone would be better off without me...even my son. I figure the way I was wasn't good for anyone, but the thing that drove me to attempt suicide was just because of the mental problems I was having. I hope you will feel comforted. I know this is not the same as you, but my uncle died of covid this year and the very next day they had the funeral able to be accessed online. My mom and I were watching it and I felt weird about him not getting buried but being cremated. It was so chilling and extensively weird to me and it freaked me out a bit.
 
J

jay01

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Houston
Thank you for responding. I'm happy you are still here and I know your son is too. I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle, a loved one is a loved one, doesn't matter if it wasnt a mother. I can't imagine watching a funeral online. If you ever need a friend I'm around. I suffer now from severe ptsd, ocd (which is fairly new and horrible), depression, bipolar and anxiety.
 
Zero One

Zero One

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@jay01 thank you 💕. I hope you heal from everything that is causing you to hurt--then I hope that your mental disorders will go away--so sorry to know that you have Them. We have a lot of the same and I know for me it is difficult, and sometimes when I am ok for a day or two everything gets out of order and surprises me a bit.
 
B

bebernipes

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Apr 28, 2021
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France
I am really sorry you had to go through that :(
I lost a childhood friend and a neighbor that way and I can imagine what it must be like to lose someone close like that.
I don't know if you are already doing this, but always try to have a psychologist following up with you.
I wish you a lot of strength!
 
E

emmaleemochizuki

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London
I lost someone really important to me to suicide 7 years ago.

It still hurts.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Jay01,
Please don’t blame yourself, be kind instead.
Lots of hugs
 
24thMAU

24thMAU

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Aug 21, 2021
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Idaho Falls, ID
Dozens. Literally dozens of my close friends and fellow police officers have committed suicide. I had a 16 yr old kid take his own life right in front of me. It was the 1 year anniversary of his girlfriend committing suicide.
 
Contramike

Contramike

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Dozens. Literally dozens of my close friends and fellow police officers have committed suicide. I had a 16 yr old kid take his own life right in front of me. It was the 1 year anniversary of his girlfriend committing suicide.
While I appreciate your empathy, that might have been worded a lot less graphically. I'm sorry you had to see that.
 
J

jay01

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Houston
@24thMAU I'm so so sorry. Always here if you need a friend. I lost my mom in a very, very morbid way, I understand.
 
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