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Anyone else here avoid relationships?

H

Hellgoodbye

Member
Joined
Feb 16, 2018
Messages
8
I don’t want a partner, I don’t want friends. They really stress me out. I prefer being alone with my dogs, less stressful :)!
I think animals are much better than humans, I seem to attract narcissistic people in my life.. Literally everybody tries to manipulate me and it works the majority of the time, I’ve pretty much cut everybody out of my life, it’s easier that way.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,751
Location
Europe
I’m still a bit undecided about this subject. On the one hand I enjoy friendships and my relationship with my parents has been a defining factor in my life... on the other my life has been barren of close romantic relationships or children. And I do mean pretty much entirely clear of major entanglements.

I don’t have pets either... does that make me a sad, lonely figure? It’s hard to say, I’ve always had one or two close friends. But my mother called me a “cyber monk” at one point because I spent so much time with technology. The last six years that has completely changed.

But my feelings about romantic relationships are mixed. Perhaps things would have gone differently if I had really studied up on the nature of romance when I was young. I only got a good view of how relationships are very much a two way street when I was in my mid thirties. Perhaps now that I’m more mature I could handle one.

Just musing...
 
N

natalie

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
12,424
I would rather prefer to be involved in a how can I put it - male and female relationship, meaning that the other part ner is male, because for one thing anyway, I wouldn't have to broach parents all the time, for starters, adn apart f rom where dad supplies on apersonal banking affairs level money to me, and mum for my personal health and or general health and well being care, so I would very much like to be involved witin a potential if at all should brew up much more into a actual going out and seriously involved romantic relationship.

Oh ideally in my books, the man would anyway have to offer to pay for a date out. That's a given.

No it's frendship, and personallity, i look for and also no arguments, couldn't tolerate those.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
31,176
Location
Mordor
I have always struggled with romantic relationships. Even when I was young and had a youthful attractiveness it would scare me rigid. I would get uptight, nervous and chicken out.

The irony is, is that I have always wanted a romantic relationship but it never happened (at least not often).

I do make friends, but these days the friendship is twinned with a shared activity. When the activity is over, we go our separate ways.

In general, I am better at making friends than having a romance.

I would say that with a good friend it is not stressful, but quite the opposite, you can relax and laugh.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,751
Location
Europe
I can really recognise the fear aspect of it Burt, I had that too when I was young. I’d get incredibly nervous and I’d be spending all my energy trying to hide that. Also that I wanted romantic relationships but had no idea how to go about making them work...
 
P

Paranoid_Android

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2017
Messages
105
I avoid having a boy friend but have a small group of friends that I'm happy with. As long as I'm on my medication I don't crave a boyfriend but when I'm off I'm all sad an depressed cause I'm not living the life I wanna live.
 
L

la femme folle

Guest
I think animals are more fair and less judgemental than people, so I probably prefer them too. They love you unconditionally and it is reciprocated. But it is not good to have no friends. I have one unconditional friend, who is also my ex, which means there are things I can't really talk to him about. For me I am unlikely to make any more until I leave the area and I have no plans made to yet. Have had a look at other places but have not enquired about it. There are a few people at work I am kind of friends with but it is not the same.

I don't think it would be a good idea for me to have a romantic relationship again. I don't like sex which kind of makes it pointless. All I ever get is romantic feelings. Have tried to work out if I am a lesbian but I have no interest in going with women either. So I think I am asexual. For me what I need is a few close friends and some animals to love at home. I might get a flatmate at some point as well. Animals can't talk and I need some sort of physical and verbal communication. We will see.

:unsure:
 
W

write

Guest
I don't avoid relationships, but I avoid life and am scared of people so result is same. I can't cope with relationships. Have lost so many friends, can't do relationships or sex due to past abuse and lack of any trust. My life is hollow and am alone, it is empty and desperately lonely, pointless, but I have let it become this. Nothing to offer as a friend, though I crave a friendship. Animals are my soulmates, but they do not deserve the mess we've made of this world. Sorry x
 
L

la femme folle

Guest
I think animals are more fair and less judgemental than people, so I probably prefer them too. They love you unconditionally and it is reciprocated. But it is not good to have no friends. I have one unconditional friend, who is also my ex, which means there are things I can't really talk to him about. For me I am unlikely to make any more until I leave the area and I have no plans made to yet. Have had a look at other places but have not enquired about it. There are a few people at work I am kind of friends with but it is not the same.

I don't think it would be a good idea for me to have a romantic relationship again. I don't like sex which kind of makes it pointless. All I ever get is romantic feelings. Have tried to work out if I am a lesbian but I have no interest in going with women either. So I think I am asexual. For me what I need is a few close friends and some animals to love at home. I might get a flatmate at some point as well. Animals can't talk and I need some sort of physical and verbal communication. We will see.

:unsure:
Oh and I did mean to say there are a few people to talk to on here and have a fb friend I am still in touch with, who is very empathetic and compassionate, and kind of politically active, it is not the same as friends in real life though.
 
H

Hellgoodbye

Member
Joined
Feb 16, 2018
Messages
8
I don't avoid relationships, but I avoid life and am scared of people so result is same. I can't cope with relationships. Have lost so many friends, can't do relationships or sex due to past abuse and lack of any trust. My life is hollow and am alone, it is empty and desperately lonely, pointless, but I have let it become this. Nothing to offer as a friend, though I crave a friendship. Animals are my soulmates, but they do not deserve the mess we've made of this world. Sorry x
You sound exactly like me it’s scary...


I love reading all your views, this forum has really helped me so far especially seeing everybody going through their own struggles, it’s a terrifying world all we can do is keep going x
 
B

Bogomil

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
484
I am so ok now in my own skin, by my own, that I avoid any emotional complication, so any heart affair. It was a time when I craved for a heart affair and that time was not very far in the past, but I learned that first I have to love myself, to accept myself as I am and to improve if I feel I have to improve and only after that I can have a healthy relationship. Until then, I ok as I am, no emotional complication, no stress.
 
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