Anyone else hate BPD?

D

dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
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643
#27
What I have learnt:

"BPD" is nothing, in reality, it describes a kind of person with certain kinds of experiences.

What type of a person has "BPD?"
Well , the kind who didn't get taught things properly and wasn't brought up in an environment conducive to being tough enough to survive the world.

You must find a therapist that works for you. Not some type of therapy where you have to unpick all the wounds, but a constructive type - which gives you the TOOLS you did not get growing up, teaches you the stuff your parents should have taught you. Do CAT, or DBT. Read. Talk to people. Learn shit. Move around. Change scene, and do your therapy above all.

"BPD" is a lie in the brain, because it gives you the impression nothing will ever change. Your brain convinces you that the extreme emotional pain, is ever-present, and it is like a dog chasing it's tail, somehow it just never seems to go away.

However, you CAN change the neural pathways in your brain. Right now your brain is functioning one way, you are wired one way, but you can learn to make it different, make your thought patterns different. Over time, you can re-wire your brain.
 
Lunus

Lunus

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#28
What I have learnt:

"BPD" is nothing, in reality, it describes a kind of person with certain kinds of experiences.

What type of a person has "BPD?"
Well , the kind who didn't get taught things properly and wasn't brought up in an environment conducive to being tough enough to survive the world.

You must find a therapist that works for you. Not some type of therapy where you have to unpick all the wounds, but a constructive type - which gives you the TOOLS you did not get growing up, teaches you the stuff your parents should have taught you. Do CAT, or DBT. Read. Talk to people. Learn shit. Move around. Change scene, and do your therapy above all.

"BPD" is a lie in the brain, because it gives you the impression nothing will ever change. Your brain convinces you that the extreme emotional pain, is ever-present, and it is like a dog chasing it's tail, somehow it just never seems to go away.

However, you CAN change the neural pathways in your brain. Right now your brain is functioning one way, you are wired one way, but you can learn to make it different, make your thought patterns different. Over time, you can re-wire your brain.
You can indeed. 😁
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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#29
Saw my pdoc today and he's like I'll always feel suicidal because of my BPD,
It's just a trait of having a personality disorder

I'm just glad I've got a good pdoc

Just hate having BPD just leaves me feeling so cofused
 
D

dewey

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#32
Saw my pdoc today and he's like I'll always feel suicidal because of my BPD,
It's just a trait of having a personality disorder

I'm just glad I've got a good pdoc

Just hate having BPD just leaves me feeling so cofused
Your pdoc does not sound good and I do not agree with what he said.

It is astounding the words that leave the mouths of medical health professionals. One fatalistic sentence can ring in our heads years after it is said, dampening our spirits.

They should be trained in what sort of language they use.
This is poor conduct from a doctor to say you will 'always' be suicidal.
It's not true people who once are diagnosed with BPD are always suicidal, thoughts of suicide may return but that's not the same as being actively or 'always' suicidal, day in day out.
Many people eventually lose their diagnosis, as is backed up by many studies, so what he said is also factually inaccurate.

I am SICK TO DEATH of the way people talk about BPD. Something has to change. It's bad enough in the media we are demonised, but coming from scholars and mental health professionals of all people, this kind of talk is just ridiculous.

One video for example I watched an expert says something along the lines: BPD is the "waste/squandering of tremendous potential. They seem capable of thinking through the nature of their problems and analysing and discussing it, but not at all capable of implementing any solutions". Now I ask you, what kind of thing is that for a professor to say? Similar to your doctor, it is not only un-empathetic, but also deeply damaging talk and highly discriminatory.

There is every reason why you should not 'always be suicidal' and there is every hope your suicidal tendencies will be minimised. Like I said above don't be a victim of the label the docs put on you. I'm not saying don't get medical help, but honestly, be cautious of what they say. For example, sometimes these guys act as if they are superior beings, the way they talk about patients is just to elevate themselves. Also complete LACK OF EMPATHY...
 
D

dewey

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#33
Looking at this thread some of you guys' comments makes me sad because you should know that the BPD does not define you. It's just a collection of symptoms. None of you is a victim of BPD. Make BPD your victim.

"Life is a bitch so fuck it like it is one." (not in the misogynistic sense obviously, it is the sentiment here which counts)

Decide what BPD symptoms make your life the most difficult, write them down and take those to a good therapist in a notebook. Work through them, and know that things are going to improve WITH TIME if you can re-wire your thoughts. Be patient. Be consistent.

I try to stop thinking like 'I'm so BPD I'll never change' nowadays cause I know that kind of thinking isn't helpful. If you're in therapy with a therapist you trust you gotta hope that you are working towards something. Please don't self defeat y'all, there's enough assholes out there that are already against you, don't be against yourself too.
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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#34
Your pdoc does not sound good and I do not agree with what he said.

It is astounding the words that leave the mouths of medical health professionals. One fatalistic sentence can ring in our heads years after it is said, dampening our spirits.

They should be trained in what sort of language they use.
This is poor conduct from a doctor to say you will 'always' be suicidal.
It's not true people who once are diagnosed with BPD are always suicidal, thoughts of suicide may return but that's not the same as being actively or 'always' suicidal, day in day out.
Many people eventually lose their diagnosis, as is backed up by many studies, so what he said is also factually inaccurate.

I am SICK TO DEATH of the way people talk about BPD. Something has to change. It's bad enough in the media we are demonised, but coming from scholars and mental health professionals of all people, this kind of talk is just ridiculous.

One video for example I watched an expert says something along the lines: BPD is the "waste/squandering of tremendous potential. They seem capable of thinking through the nature of their problems and analysing and discussing it, but not at all capable of implementing any solutions". Now I ask you, what kind of thing is that for a professor to say? Similar to your doctor, it is not only un-empathetic, but also deeply damaging talk and highly discriminatory.

There is every reason why you should not 'always be suicidal' and there is every hope your suicidal tendencies will be minimised. Like I said above don't be a victim of the label the docs put on you. I'm not saying don't get medical help, but honestly, be cautious of what they say. For example, sometimes these guys act as if they are superior beings, the way they talk about patients is just to elevate themselves. Also complete LACK OF EMPATHY...
Yea I totally understand where you're coming from, I think he just meant it from general experience he's had over the years,
Maybe he could have worded it better
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

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#35
BPD ends up merging into who you are, so in a way it does define you, most people don't feel as if they fit in or have an identity until they receive the diagnosis
 
D

dewey

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#36
BPD ends up merging into who you are, so in a way it does define you, most people don't feel as if they fit in or have an identity until they receive the diagnosis
Okay I'm going to try to respond to what you've said.

The only reason or way you can be described as having BPD is if a doctor or medical health professional tells you that you have certain symptoms/ that you read the symptoms yourself and you say: oh yeah, that's me.

With time, over many years, I hope you will come to view it as simply a diagnosis, that you received at one point in your life, because you had certain symptoms that you are now working to recover.

For me the worst of these symptoms is definitely Emotional dysregulation - not being able to regulate emotions as the average person can - the immense bouts of rage upon being triggered, the huge waves of immense emotional agony, the de-realisation/dissociation. Knowing that others, like you guys who post on here, also experience this, is comforting because you know you're not alone in this terrible experience.
But that doesn't mean it should enable you to fit in or it's your identity.

Not fitting in: Yeah being "weird", particulary in your childhood years and throughout your schooling life, and then there are patterns that stay with you into adulthood. Theres always something different about you. I hope with time we view this as not part of being a victim to BPD but as simply part of our character.
With all of us here, we are really unique. We should embrace that, even if it is the thing that made us ostracised, and not able to cope socially as one of the 'normies'.
Getting your BPD diagnosis shouldn't be the thing that makes you think Oh I suddenly fit in, that should be something that comes from yourself.

Not having an identity: Well feeling you don't have an identity, is again a symptom of bpd. I daily struggle with not having a sense of who i am. But BPD is not the solution to that identity. No way. If BPD is anything it's a set of symptoms, it doesn't define my identity. Even if the smallest tiniest shred of hope in me says that there is go, ing to be a way that one day I can somehow shape my life and my experiences, I'm going to cling onto that. I don't want to be "whole", I don't want to be false, fake, chocolate-box, tv-ad style "happy", i just want to take control, and I believe all of you on here do as well. Within that willpower to somehow shape my life one day, I am getting a sense of who I really am. That doesn't come from within all the excruciatingly painful experiences of "being BPD." i don't know where identity comes from as I have so often felt its absence, a complete absence of identity. But within that willpower to change, something tells me I can shape something, so I won't let being a victim to BPD forge my identity.

I hope at least some of this rings true for you because really we aren't that different at all.
 
D

dewey

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#37
Sorry I know I am not being very empathetic recently, I am just sick of the illness and don't want anyone to feel like they are a victim to it. But I realise that in practice, we are victims to it when it feels like it's over taking us and it's out of our control.
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

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#39
you might as well accept BPD will destroy you, no point trying or recovering, it'll always fuck you up in the end
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#40
What I have learnt:

"BPD" is nothing, in reality, it describes a kind of person with certain kinds of experiences.

What type of a person has "BPD?"
Well , the kind who didn't get taught things properly and wasn't brought up in an environment conducive to being tough enough to survive the world.

You must find a therapist that works for you. Not some type of therapy where you have to unpick all the wounds, but a constructive type - which gives you the TOOLS you did not get growing up, teaches you the stuff your parents should have taught you. Do CAT, or DBT. Read. Talk to people. Learn shit. Move around. Change scene, and do your therapy above all.

"BPD" is a lie in the brain, because it gives you the impression nothing will ever change. Your brain convinces you that the extreme emotional pain, is ever-present, and it is like a dog chasing it's tail, somehow it just never seems to go away.

However, you CAN change the neural pathways in your brain. Right now your brain is functioning one way, you are wired one way, but you can learn to make it different, make your thought patterns different. Over time, you can re-wire your brain.
i dont agree with the not tough enough to survive the world thing that you said, dewey. Some people with BPD had a tough upbringing and had to fight for everything they have (i am not referring to myself, i had some tough knocks when i was growing up but not as bad as some have had it)