• Welcome! If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Anyone else feel like this?

P

Paw Print

Member
Joined
Jul 20, 2009
Messages
12
Location
british columbia, canada
Sometimes I want to be manic. I want the relief of not thinking of every single consequence of every action. I am very vigilant of what might happen if I do a certain thing that most of the time it holds me back from actually enjoying something because my mind is always in overdrive.

It isn't that I am happy or that I think more of myself when I am manic, I just feel free. I am not weighted down by my own mind. I am way more likely to hurt myself though.

I think this is one of the reasons I have a hard time taking my meds all the time. I get thoughts that I should stop taking them. Part of it is me playing chicken with myself, how far can I go before I do something stupid. Part of it is that it's another form of self harm.

I just want to know if anyone feels like this.
 
S

scorpio58

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2009
Messages
8
Location
Hampshire
I can relate to what you are saying. For me, having to take meds tells me that I am flawed so to not take them means I am me, good and bad with everything inbetween. But I keep on taking them - so somewhere in my brain there is some common sense.
Jane
 
T

Twylight

Guest
i sometimes wonder if the higher parts of mental disorders are just that little bit ' addictive '.

There has been times when I want to believe some of the non logic
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
868
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
I spend most of my life high or manic. I am sick and tired of it. Sometimes high can be a very pleasant experience. JUst 3 months ago I have my first experience of an irritable high. I detested it. It was one of the worse experiences of my 21 years of being mentally ill. At the minute - I can't sleep. My thoughts won't stop. I'm hallucinating. I'm dissociated. I feel completely exhausted. Yet - this is a high too - I am not enjoying it. I am not sure about you - but not all highs are a good experience. I started back self harming - while I have been high just three months ago. I had not harmed in 2 years. My harming started to punish myself as I have been so irritable that I was having outbursts - something that doesn't normally happen with me. To be honest - I would let anyone take this high/mania away any day.
Jacqui
 
T

Twylight

Guest
Yes, Highs can be terrible

I had a terrifying one, several years ago in Hospital
I won't go in to the horrific detail, only to say I kept the whole hospital awake for five hours,
The nurse on duty didn't know what to give me, but eventually he gave me something that knocked me out - I was so gratefull
 
S

schizolanza

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
3,160
sometimes I wonder what is worse,bipolar or schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia sucks that's for sure.
I self medicate with alcohol and cannabis.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
sometimes I wonder what is worse,bipolar or schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia sucks that's for sure.
I self medicate with alcohol and cannabis.
Me too
The majority of my mentally ill friends do too.
 
P

Paw Print

Member
Joined
Jul 20, 2009
Messages
12
Location
british columbia, canada
I have not had terrible highs. They sometimes are not pleasant, but have never been horrible for me.

Thank you all for replying. It is nice to not be alone.
 
jax

jax

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
868
Location
Belfast, N.Ireland
I've never touched drugs or alcohol - I have self-medicated with my own medications at times. I had not done that for over 5-6 years. Although - I did self medicate for about a week with extra seroquel as I felt so depressed that I wanted to sleep. I have to say that I have felt like doing it again these past few days. I haven't though.

Edit - I did drink for about 5 years of my life - in my my 20's - but don't drink now at all.
 
Last edited:
T

Twylight

Guest
I've never touched drugs or alcohol - I have self-medicated with my own medications at times. I had not done that for over 5-6 years. Although - I did self medicate for about a week with extra seroquel as I felt so depressed that I wanted to sleep. I have to say that I have felt like doing it again these past few days. I haven't though.

Edit - I did drink for about 5 years of my life - in my my 20's - but don't drink now at all.
My sister who has bipolar was on seroquel and hated it - always in bed depressed
A couple of months ago she went on to olanzapine and is a lot more active and happier.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
My sister who has bipolar was on seroquel and hated it - always in bed depressed
A couple of months ago she went on to olanzapine and is a lot more active and happier.
Prior to this, my sister who live in Australia was in such a deep depression, she wan't motivated to help herself

It took months of E mails and phone calls to persuade her to try Olanzepine - in the end I threatened to post some Olanzepine to her and that did the trick.

I think she takes a mood stabiliser as well
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
BlackChalice47 Anyone else feel like... Bipolar Forum 6
Amazingly Anyone else suffer from lack of motivation? Bipolar Forum 10
G Anyone else with a family history of mental illness? Bipolar Forum 22
G Anyone else have had ECT? Bipolar Forum 8
T Anyone else have strange delusions when not in a psychotic manic episode? Bipolar Forum 8
P Anyone tried Ketamine? Bipolar Forum 10
C Anyone on the Autism spectrum and have Bipolar and how do the 2 interact for you? Bipolar Forum 1
Amazingly Anyone taking an antipsychotic? Bipolar Forum 17
M Anyone Here On US Disability? Bipolar Forum 6
G Anyone find meditation or other spiritual practices helpful? Bipolar Forum 20
E Anyone experienced rapid cycling? Bipolar Forum 8
P During a depression cycle does anyone hate or get disgusted by their significant other? Bipolar Forum 24
T Anyone taking 2 anti-psychotics at the same time? Bipolar Forum 9
H Does anyone know how long the side effects of Klonopin and Gabapentin take to wear off? Bipolar Forum 2
G Has anyone ever heard of this? Bipolar Forum 3
N So anyone trying to play overwatch? Bipolar Forum 10
C Anyone for whom no meds are right? Bipolar Forum 14
F Anyone been triggered by a repetitive monotonous melody? Any insights? Bipolar Forum 5
K Anyone familiar with unipolar mania? Bipolar Forum 9
B Has anyone noticed reduced fitness since taking bipolar med? Bipolar Forum 17
S Has anyone ever changed from lithium to a different mood stabiliser? Bipolar Forum 14
A can anyone relate Bipolar Forum 6
K does anyone here have mini highs but not hypomania or mania Bipolar Forum 6
B Does anyone try to self manage bipolar? Bipolar Forum 29
D Does anyone understand what I'm talking about? Bipolar Forum 11
M Anyone use CBD to curb their mood swings and manic depressive episodes? Bipolar Forum 4
Hello513 Does any one else with bi-polar have anger issues. Bipolar Forum 30
G Now I've got vitreous detachment in my left eye. What else can go wrong? Bipolar Forum 8
MillGuard I really don't like what I have(I.E I hate being human and I want to be something else) Bipolar Forum 4
C Anybody else have physical symptoms during a switch? Bipolar Forum 8
Hello513 So does any one else experience this in mania. Bipolar Forum 30
M Feel Like An IDIOT!!! Bipolar Forum 1
G I feel so unwell... Bipolar Forum 11
P I do not feel I have Bipolar at all Bipolar Forum 25
T I'm finally starting to feel hopeful! Bipolar Forum 11
T Question for people who take medication: Do you feel "normal" Bipolar Forum 2
Bonnie23 I feel detached from myself and not with it today 😢 Bipolar Forum 6
T I have bi polar and i feel like i can never live a normal life Bipolar Forum 6
OmniscientNihilist bipolar moods feel like multiple personality Bipolar Forum 3
wraziel Why I feel better in november-december? Bipolar Forum 5
ScreamingMime I feel like a horrible friend and family member Bipolar Forum 3
SlowlyUnravels How does it feel after the meds work? Bipolar Forum 7
HLon99 Feel better, but making no progress in life. Bipolar Forum 12
h_put2021 Feel like I’m spiraling Bipolar Forum 8
T Unable to feel love (more or less) Bipolar Forum 2
N Wanting to just feel connected Bipolar Forum 9
S I feel like I scare people Bipolar Forum 6

Similar threads

Top