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Anybody have advice on how to overcome social anxiety???

T

techguy2020

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Australia
Hey Guys,
I have been suffering from social anxiety at the beginning of my teens years and it has ruined my high school years. I have just graduated and want to get a job. But, the problem is that I have social anxiety. I have learnt so much advice but would like to learn some more. So, if you had social anxiety and overcame it. Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks, have a blessed and safe day to you all.
 
Talina

Talina

Well-known member
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May 14, 2020
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653
Location
Sweden
I haven’t overcome my social anxiety but it’s more manageable than before. For me it was facing my fears slowly and determination to do things.

For example my mind and body scream no, but I still decide to take the step towards what I’m scared. Over time a few things became easier to do. But I also use music which is really important for me and focusing on breathing to calm down. If things feel too much I will try to get to a space where I can calm myself a little and collect my thoughts.

But it gets quite tiring always needing to face your fears and step outside your comfort zone. At least its been working for me to always face my fears and not let them restrict myself. To make the fears become a little less controlling.

So I have come to a point, where I can talk with people at uni and go to job interviews. Even though it spike up my anxiety, it will often just keep to nausea mostly. In the beginning it have been small exposer that I later built up.
 
I

irwin

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Joined
Oct 14, 2020
Messages
175
Location
Colorado, USA
My SAD is worse now than it's ever been. In my younger days, I was somewhat optimistic about my future, and that motivated me to socialize despite my anxiety. I thought that eventually I'd figure out a way to overcome it and things would work out. But I've been beaten down too many times over too many years... actually, too many decades, and now I'm just trying to avoid people except online where I control who I come in contact with.

It's all about self-esteem. I see other people who succeed in the world -- even at a basic level. Even some loser who works at a corner store is more adept in the world than me. I have two Bachelor's Degrees and 30 credits towards a Master's, but I can't handle being around people, so my career and most attempts at relationships have gone the toilet. I've failed at life.
 
R

Rzero

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Texas
These days I take clonazepam and propranolol, which solve the problem almost entirely, but I used to have methods that helped a little. I concentrated on breathing, like you said, and I made only fleeting eye contact. That's not ideal, but I would rather someone notice that my eyes are wandering than see me shaking. I also had a tendency to overcompensate and talk a lot. I wouldn't call that call that a good habit either, but it was a coping mechanism anyway.

Are you familiar with the wonders of focused fidgeting? This is big in ADHD world. It helps people concentrate because it occupies one's floating attention, leaving surface thoughts free to focus on the task at hand. I found that it also helped me talk to people without my head shaking. Keep something in your hand that you can fidget with, something small that won't distract or annoy the person to whom you're talking. It can be anything that distracts a small amount of your attention without drawing you away from the conversation. It can be a guitar pick or coin that you flip around over and over or a rubber band to stretch or pluck quietly. There are also tons of manufactured fidget toys available that you can use. Don't use a fidget spinner though. Things like that are distracting to other people and make it look like you're not paying attention to them. The ideal fidget is one the other person probably won't even notice, and if they do, you've got a nice little conversation starter.

Look up "flippy chain fidget toy." They're very popular and my personal favorite. They're made by a hundred different companies, so just find a highly rated one and try it out. Good luck!
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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2,018
Location
Canada
I guess if it was easy to overcome it wouldn't be such a common problem.
 
Jam1990

Jam1990

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Joined
May 22, 2020
Messages
238
Location
earth
My SAD is worse now than it's ever been. In my younger days, I was somewhat optimistic about my future, and that motivated me to socialize despite my anxiety. I thought that eventually I'd figure out a way to overcome it and things would work out. But I've been beaten down too many times over too many years... actually, too many decades, and now I'm just trying to avoid people except online where I control who I come in contact with.

It's all about self-esteem. I see other people who succeed in the world -- even at a basic level. Even some loser who works at a corner store is more adept in the world than me. I have two Bachelor's Degrees and 30 credits towards a Master's, but I can't handle being around people, so my career and most attempts at relationships have gone the toilet. I've failed at life.
I relate to you. I have my bachelors and I’m working a job in fast food because my anxiety just can’t handle much more right now. I’m trying to get better through medication and therapy but it’s still really tough and I’m afraid that if I get a higher quality job, that I’ll fail because of my anxiety. It really makes me feel like a failure sometimes but I’m really trying the best that I can and I’m certain that you are too
 
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