• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Anybody else with this terrible symptoms?

S

Sunny2020

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
Hi there! This is my first post here and I will try to make it as short as I can. I've been suffering with anxiety disorder for a long time and I always was able to manage it pretty well, without medication. In September 2018 things got worse, I started to experience panic attacks and the feeling that something was not right.These states of panic came with suicidal feeling and thoughts, a state of utter despair, agitation. I could feel pressure in my head and a sense of impending doom. I was diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and severe depression.I tried different medication prescribed by my psychiatrist and I could not tolerate SSRI (Zoloft made me more suicidal) and other class of medication like Effexor and Pamelor. The only antidepressant that i can tolerate is Mirtazapine ,only in the small doses. Every medication intensified the mental agitation and despair, I would go crazy. Now I'm taking Mirtazapine, mood stabilizer(Trileptal), small doses of Lithium and Xanax as needed.Today my mood goes up and down, I feel severe anxiety and depressive thoughts. My emotions are all over the place, sometimes I cannot breath and cannot cry.
I have intermittent attacks during the day: it feels like a weave of panic, but not full blown and immediately my suicidal thoughts increase and I feel impulsive and desperate. These attacks comes and goes but left me exhausted and more depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to do, I'm afraid i have a severe mental illness and I don't know how long i can take it.
 
S

Sunny2020

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
I would like to mention that a had TMS treatment,which helped for 2 months and than the symptoms came back. The psychiatrist mention bipolar but he's not sure. I never felt manic or hypomanic....I do have racing thoughts which I think are from my anxiety, but again I don't know anymore. I am also in therapy and this takes time, I had only 3 sessions.
 
A

aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
395
Location
UK
I would like to mention that a had TMS treatment,which helped for 2 months and than the symptoms came back. The psychiatrist mention bipolar but he's not sure. I never felt manic or hypomanic....I do have racing thoughts which I think are from my anxiety, but again I don't know anymore. I am also in therapy and this takes time, I had only 3 sessions.

have the 3 sessions helped so far?

welcome to the forum. I hope you continue reaching out
 
P

Professionalhypochondriac

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
53
Location
United Kingdom
Hi there! This is my first post here and I will try to make it as short as I can. I've been suffering with anxiety disorder for a long time and I always was able to manage it pretty well, without medication. In September 2018 things got worse, I started to experience panic attacks and the feeling that something was not right.These states of panic came with suicidal feeling and thoughts, a state of utter despair, agitation. I could feel pressure in my head and a sense of impending doom. I was diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and severe depression.I tried different medication prescribed by my psychiatrist and I could not tolerate SSRI (Zoloft made me more suicidal) and other class of medication like Effexor and Pamelor. The only antidepressant that i can tolerate is Mirtazapine ,only in the small doses. Every medication intensified the mental agitation and despair, I would go crazy. Now I'm taking Mirtazapine, mood stabilizer(Trileptal), small doses of Lithium and Xanax as needed.Today my mood goes up and down, I feel severe anxiety and depressive thoughts. My emotions are all over the place, sometimes I cannot breath and cannot cry.
I have intermittent attacks during the day: it feels like a weave of panic, but not full blown and immediately my suicidal thoughts increase and I feel impulsive and desperate. These attacks comes and goes but left me exhausted and more depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to do, I'm afraid i have a severe mental illness and I don't know how long i can take it.
Let em start by saying that i am sorry you are currently going threw such despair...
Essentially panic attacks are caused by the fight and flight system being activated in appropriately... usually when someone jumps out on us or we are in danger that is what triggers the release of these hormones... but in panic disorder they are activated to little or no threat... the problem is we experience these terrifying symptoms and no threat so they cause sheer terror and the cycle continues.
Have you tried other methods of coping and with any success ?
I think the reason you feel suicidal is because you just want all these symptoms to stop... and I want you to know that it is never the answer... you have a life To live and with support and help better days will come 🤗
 
S

Sunny2020

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
Hi Professionalhypochondriac!
Thank you for reaching out. I really appreciate it.
Yes, are very scary and what's scares me are the thoughts that come with it. I am also suffer from depression.....sometimes I really want to die to have some relief (never made a plan). I can't function , I just go day by day.....I'm scared of all my thoughts, I feel like have no control over them, every little stress is magnified in my head. Every morning I wake up with intense anxiety and feeling of dread.

Can you give me some example of coping methods that would help me. I know I'm not copping well and I need some guidance. Thank you!
 
S

Sunny2020

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
10
Location
USA
Hi Aisha! Thank you for reaching out.

In these 3 sessions we talked about my childhood, my marriage and my family. She wanted to know me better. Tomorrow I have the first session for this year and we'll start to talk twice a week, instead of once a week.
 
Top