• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Any support appreciated.

Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Had a terrible night last night. I have posted a few times regarding physical and emotional abuse to try to get some understanding from OP experiences, just writing some of this stuff and getting it out there has been a form of therapy and I can't thank the people who have replied enough.

Last night I received a call at 1am a withheld number and somebody in tears and obvious distress I kept asking hello, who is this? Do you need my help? They rang off.
They rang again five minutes later and I started to really worry and panic, by then I realised it was the ex abusive partner they rang off again.
By now the anxiety and worry had kicked in, what if she was in trouble, hurt or something had happened, so I rang her for her to answer 'hello, who is this?' She was obviously drunk and somehow managed to suck me in to more verbal abuse, I took it all again.

This is the woman who tried to take out an injunction against me for domestic violence, I managed to change this injuction to a cross undertaking preventing her from contacting me too. We both face the same concequences if the undertaking is broken.

I am worried sick that this has been a ploy to trap me in to contact and get me in to trouble, I rang the police first thing this morning to explain what had happened.
I would help anybody in distress at any time, that is my nature I cannot change that.
I have no wish to see her in any trouble, but I cannot trust her an inch. I hope I have covered myself.
I need to change my phone number, just need to get this out there as its already taking its toll on my health. I don't want to go back to where I have 'those' thoughts.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hi jimny

So sorry about your bad night.
I think your right about changing your number, you were doing so well, you just don't need set backs of this sort. Things such as this make us so anxious. Raking up old feelings. Be kind to yourself.

I suspect as she rang when she was drunk, she may well also wish to just forget it today.

The truth is she rang you first. If it came to it, and I don't think it will. Phone records I'm sure can prove you had a call that evening, anonymous or not. I suspect it won't come to having them all checked..
It's so hard at times like this to not mull over the 'what ifs" I know, you have done what you can in respect of this incident, try your best to distract yourself from it, easier said than done , I know..it will soon be history, and I'm sure you won't have anything to worry about..
You've got here to post if you need to and as you know it's a great thing to help us at times like these.

X
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
914
Location
Lincolnshire
Hey jimny,
I agree, get your number changed x
What did the police say? At least you've phoned them and got your say in first before she could manipulate you.
Try and let this incident go and carry on moving forward with your life, easier said than done I know x
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Thank you both for your replies, the police have rang back and will come to my home tomorrow. I told them I did not want anything to happen but that I need to cover myself, I hope it ends there.
It's such a hard situation as I know she feels the same pain, I just cannot cope with it anymore.
There have also been many times where I have been stabbed in the back.
I've got to move forward at whatever pace. x
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Oh Jimny.. :hug1:
To be phoned at, let's face it, such an unsociable hour and be drawn into such a negative experience is stressful enough. And that's without adding on the fact that you could potentially get into trouble.

I'm really sorry that you were disrespected and it sounds she may have taken advantage of the fact that you are a kind person who would help someone.

I hope that the police see sense when they see you tomorrow and you don't get any more trouble.
Look after yourself in the meantime, and remember that the forum is here if you need to let off some steam or you need some support.
 
L

LingeringThoughts

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
5
Hi Jimny,

I agree with everyone here. Change your phone number immediately. Don't give your ex that pleasure of torturing your thoughts again.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Oh Jimny.. :hug1:
To be phoned at, let's face it, such an unsociable hour and be drawn into such a negative experience is stressful enough. And that's without adding on the fact that you could potentially get into trouble.

I'm really sorry that you were disrespected and it sounds she may have taken advantage of the fact that you are a kind person who would help someone.

I hope that the police see sense when they see you tomorrow and you don't get any more trouble.
Look after yourself in the meantime, and remember that the forum is here if you need to let off some steam or you need some support.
Agree with all of this !! Hope you ok Jimney ...
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hi Jimny,

I agree with everyone here. Change your phone number immediately. Don't give your ex that pleasure of torturing your thoughts again.
Yeh here here .. You so don't deserve this crap.. X
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
547
Had a terrible night last night. I have posted a few times regarding physical and emotional abuse to try to get some understanding from OP experiences, just writing some of this stuff and getting it out there has been a form of therapy and I can't thank the people who have replied enough.

Last night I received a call at 1am a withheld number and somebody in tears and obvious distress I kept asking hello, who is this? Do you need my help? They rang off.
They rang again five minutes later and I started to really worry and panic, by then I realised it was the ex abusive partner they rang off again.
By now the anxiety and worry had kicked in, what if she was in trouble, hurt or something had happened, so I rang her for her to answer 'hello, who is this?' She was obviously drunk and somehow managed to suck me in to more verbal abuse, I took it all again.

This is the woman who tried to take out an injunction against me for domestic violence, I managed to change this injuction to a cross undertaking preventing her from contacting me too. We both face the same concequences if the undertaking is broken.

I am worried sick that this has been a ploy to trap me in to contact and get me in to trouble, I rang the police first thing this morning to explain what had happened.
I would help anybody in distress at any time, that is my nature I cannot change that.
I have no wish to see her in any trouble, but I cannot trust her an inch. I hope I have covered myself.
I need to change my phone number, just need to get this out there as its already taking its toll on my health. I don't want to go back to where I have 'those' thoughts.
Hey mate

Your exactly like me! if someone who'd done something like that and called me upset - i'd still try and help it's what makes us who we are but also leaves us open to manipulation - I think you've done the right think you've contacted the police and explained what happened - i'm sure from what you've said you would probably have told them you're worried about her but you can't do anything - think your actions were spot on! also fair play for being concerned - so many people I know once they fall out with someone that's it - they would probably have reacted in spite and tried to have got her in trouble - but you were true to who you are - and I think you've done right think - covered yourself but also mentioned your concerned about her - it's in the hands of the police to check up on her now.

H
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Well, spoke to the police and feel a bit silly.
They explained to me I wasn't in any trouble and she hadn't tried to get me in trouble, they also said the cross undertaking was not worth the paper it was written on. Odd, I took it seriously when I had to go to court.
I'm glad I can put this behind me although the cinic in me wonders what would happen if this were the other way round.
Thanks for you support, bloody MH amplifies things to such an extent.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
D
Well, spoke to the police and feel a bit silly.
They explained to me I wasn't in any trouble and she hadn't tried to get me in trouble, they also said the cross undertaking was not worth the paper it was written on. Odd, I took it seriously when I had to go to court.
I'm glad I can put this behind me although the cinic in me wonders what would happen if this were the other way round.
Thanks for you support, bloody MH amplifies things to such an extent.
So glad it's sorted for you. I know how things like this can worry us. You can relax now ��
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Ok I'm strugling, the anxiety and tears have started. I so need to get this under control.
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
This is ridiculous I'm 6'1 15 stone built like a brick s*it house and I'm on my knees again, she is inside my head.
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hope things feel a little better today jimny.
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Hi Unique, a little yes. So much going through my mind, things I wish I had said.
So pissed at my self at the moment, I am far from strong mentally. x
 
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