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Any one else having Issues with these holidays

F

Flaplaymate

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
30
Location
North Fort Myers, Fl
I'm suffering from depression, PTSD (child abuse), lack of self confidence and self esteem issues.

I hate these fucking holidays

and anyone relate ??
 
T

Tombomb

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
50
Sure can spent Christmas eve in ceiler alone with only my thoughts. Had to leave last year because I just wasn't feeling it. I find holidays to intensify my bipolar usually in a bad way. But this year was different in still single for the holidays but I felt apart of the excitement realized the true meaning of Xmas by enjoying time with family an lowered expectations. I really hated my family talk bout jobs an made me feel so insignificant an unimportant .have u ever felt that everyone is having a great time easily an u feel u don't belong .
 
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Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
485
Location
California, US
Most definitely I can relate. The choices from the perspective of clinical depression are to be alone or to feel alone at a gathering. Either way, I feel like the damned soul forced to listen to the joyous voices of others.

Crappy holidays from my darkness to yours. ⛈☃⚡🌋🎅👹
 
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Flaplaymate

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
30
Location
North Fort Myers, Fl
Don't belong

Many times throughout my life I felt I was looking in from the outside.

Many have pushed me away do to my profession; model entertainer.

Today really sucks, glad when this day is over with.

Wish the site had a chat room so we could support one and another

dave
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
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Jan 5, 2011
Messages
50,615
Location
Lancashire
Tombomb :welcome: to the forum

We don't have a chat room as it would be impossible to moderate.
 
D

Dulcie

Guest
:welcome: Flaplaymate and Tombomb to the forum.

Christmas can bring unwelcome feelings evocative of the season which sadly for some, marks anniversaries and family upsets. One of my aunts passed away yesterday and only days before, I bid farewell to a family member who had been ill trteating my preteen daughter. Much as I will try and putt behind me these unwelcome memories, they are bound to return next Christmas.

Much as I empathise with yourselves and others feeling down, to me the Christmas season brings my family from afar to come together, and be a strength to one another. Our lives are never made easy I for one, know. But we can draw strength and solace from one-another here, and hope to move forward once this holiday is over.

Happy New Year. :)
 
F

Flaplaymate

Active member
Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
30
Location
North Fort Myers, Fl
Family

Your very fortunate to have a family that loves and accepted you.

I never had that. I was always an outcast. My mother rejected even before birth do to I was her bastered child and had always blamed me for ruining her life be being born.

Everyone in the family jumped on her bandwagon and I was totally ignored.

One more holiday coming up then none till easter.

Have a good day
dave
 
B

Boring

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2017
Messages
1,892
Location
New York
flaplaymate, you sound like you'd make a good photo model or super model, if you are interested in transforming that online lifestyle into something more public and local. in some of your posts, you say you like making photos and videos. you also say you get hired for gigs. also

"Ever since I was young I enjoyed exposing myself to others and wearing women's undergarments (bra, nylons, garter belt, panties, etc.)

As I got older I accepted this life style. To cope with my issues I stated working as a nude model for art schools and classes.
Being totally exposed to a large group of students excited me.

In addition, I worked at a number of novelty messenger services as a totally nude erotic entertainer.. At times I would perform cross dress, (bra, nylons, garter belt, panties, etc.)."

I will be honest with you, some people don't like to associate with nudity and sexual content. in almost every community i've been to, that lack of association has been present.

sometimes it's important to find communities where you can be yourself, without being censored. be careful where you go because not everyone will be accepting of you. I've learned this the hard way, my friend. but you've found some people who accept you and find joy while communicating with you, even during gigs, so that's good.

I've transformed my sexual/nude energy into something more community-acceptable on youtube: spoken romance literature. if my youtube videos get deleted, i wouldn't be surprised. but eh, at least i tried to transform my expressions into something more socially acceptable; which increases the amount of people I can communicate with.
 
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