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Any Mouth Control Specialists Out There?

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Dejected

Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2015
Messages
6
I don’t think I have social anxiety disorder in the “usual sense”, because I am not shy about meeting people initially. I almost always make a good 1st impression. But, before long I am found out…By the 4th/5th meeting, the people I meet will invariably laugh at whatever stupid thing comes out of my mouth or their facial expression will convey such laughter. I have lost count of hearing: “You’re such an idiot”. Even my parents have more or less said it.

They say the first step is admitting the problem: Well, I have accepted it - I really must be an idiot. 80% of the people I come across cannot be wrong! My problem is I apparently cannot control my mouth and either insult/offend or say/do the daftest things. I say “apparently”, because when I review what I said, 95% of the time, I haven’t the foggiest what I said wrong. I know I don’t insult people in the obvious sense (commenting on weight, bad breath etc) but I cannot work how what I say wrong.

Anyway, I basically have no friends and am a complete laughing stock in my community. I often wonder how long it will be before my wife leaves (somehow, she is not aware of my “special” status – she thinks I don’t socialise because I am absorbed with work). I have thought about moving, but I am certain that within 2 or 3 years, my new circle will get to know me and I will be back to square 1.

What kind of help can I get? I know I will need a therapist to deal with the depression, but what can be done about the underlying problem? Is there some kind of lifestyle coach or specialist that can help me and my mouth? Please help a desperate man! My marriage, work and sanity are all in danger! I need advice on how to get the right therapist and specialist in the London area. THANKS GUYS
 
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jeztepes

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 10, 2015
Messages
85
Hi dejected ,,,

i empathise with you ,but your not an idiot ,your probably smarter than the morions around you and they dont like it , sometimes I say innappropriate things .. sometime its my ego, other times its to wind up an arsehole and sometimes its just to shake up the boring conversation ,,,,,people say i am a good people person and very diplomatic but there is a devil inside me that just i cant control..

its worse when i am depressed , but under the _depression is an unspecified personality disorder that is difficult to treat ,, in my case the problem was caused by childhood behaviour training , but it left me feeling displaced from the rest of society and disadvantaged in the rough and tumble of life .

there is a saying '' before you kill yourself or get therapy take a good look at the arseholes around you , ,,,
that might be the problem''
 
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Dejected

Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2015
Messages
6
Thanks Jeztepes. Very kind words, but I have long stopped assuming that the problem is the people around me. Like I said, 80% of the people I meet cannot be wrong. But here's a question, how did you figure out the unspecified personality disorder? I definitely have childhood issues that perhaps explain all this - at least that's what I think on the optimistic days - on other days I tell myself I was born an idiot and must just learn to live with it.
 
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jeztepes

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 10, 2015
Messages
85
Hi dejected

I have battled depression since I was a child ...52 now ,, I have had therapists , drugs etc ,, a psychiatrist gave me the diagnosis of unspecified personality disorder and explained that brain wiring and also traing for life issues by my mother in my early years probably made me the way I am ,, for many years I was angey with him but recently i have come to the conclusion that he was probably correct ,,,
well i cant change my brains wiring , i can probably manage depression with help and drugs and the
issues from my mother I have with some success managed to unlearn and change some of the ways I interact with the world,,,

so perhaps in your case coaching and some therapy may help by retraining your verbal output ,

keep coming on here its agreat place
 
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soulblazer

Member
Joined
Jan 6, 2015
Messages
20
Location
Costa Rica
I had this too when I was younger (I still have it, but it's not as often as when I was a girl). Example: My mom making up a "excuse" for one of her lady friends, I wouldn't caught on and said something along the lines of "But, we went shopping that day, you were not sick..." The lady would frown at my mom, realizing she was being lied at, she would leave, my mom would look angrily at me and would do this incredibily annoying thing when I couldn't "control my mouth". She would twist my hand a little bit (without actually breaking anything, it hurt, but just a little bit), so I would "learn my lessons". I hated that, I still do, more that "hurtful", it was annoying. Why didn't she said: "Next time, keep quiet" or "Shut up", instead of that damn twisting hand thing?

Or the time when I was like 10 and was telling her about an extremely abused dog (I saw it on the news) who got put to sleep because he attacked someone and how I taught it was not fair since it was the abusive owners who started the whole thing and they were not even sent to jail, then this young man walks besides us when I said "And they had to kill him" (refering to the dog, I'll admit it was a bad choice of words of my part). Problem is sometimes my voice uncontrollably changes pitch and stuff (my voice could sound fast or monothone or I could be sad, but it would sound happy instead), so it sounded like I was "happy", so the guy must had thought I was creepily glad over someone's death... he even looked like I had scared the living hell out of him with just a few words.

I got to be grounded during 3 days with no TV and videogames because some random dude we didn't even know (and never met ever again) got the "impression" I was a future "psycho/killer" for just a few words out of context.
I think you need just the right people for you. I luckily found friends who have this too, so we can be "weird" together, the hell what nosy people says.
 
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