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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Any here also is "too cold" with kids/babies

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ManDss

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When a kid is around to me is almost like it doesnt exists, because... its a kid, its unaware of his surrounding, so I dont have to pretend like it cares me.

Im a man, so this also influences this.

Other people is cheerful when talking with kids.

I always hated when people gathers to say how cute a baby is. Its like "what?".

Or when a kid makes something and all smile and aplaude.

I have a niece, Its different with my niece, but sometimes its difficult to me to make her feel "loved".

Its hard to me to say "I love you", or things like that, she tells me I love you, and it touchs my heart, but to me say "I love you", its unnatural, sometimes I say "thanks" and then a phrase doesnt have english translation, which is kinda like "I care of you too" but hard to translate.

Im very "mechanical" and "logic" with her, anyway this topic its not about my niece.

Time ago I was at a family gathering and there was the wife of my cousin in the room with her daughter (and other relatives passing around) and I stare at my cousin's daughter, like just obseving it, also because "oh, there is a kid in the room, all have to pay attention to this beautiful human being", then I noticed my cousins wife was looking me in a "weird vibe".

In part I feel like this because i dont feel any boundaries to my cousin and his family, Ill preffer to dont have any conection with them (they are good people, but, why I have to share my life with them?).

-----‐----

My neighbours have a kid now, just months, and I hear how both the man and the woman, also older kid, talk and play with the kid. Making voices, all that.

I feel like if I have a son I would be so mechanical, I would use PeekABoo as main enterteinment (cause it works) also I can do other silly things, but I know I wouldnt do all the things my neighbours make with their son.

Always felt that my sister would have doubts about how Ill be with her daughter, because Im so cold and mechanic (serious), things went good, my niece loves me, one day I heard my sister and niece waking up and my niece saying "I want Diego", the first thing she said when she woke up, I felt pretty proud. Sadly they dont live in the same country I live now, and Im too depress to talk with my sister, we have bad relationship and I preffee just avoid her.

This topic is too long, and I didnt explain so explicit what I wanted to say.

I know people with some personality disorders have problems about comunicating with kids. Its not like a big concern to me, Im ok with this.

Its just interesting to notice how different Im with the rest of the people.
 
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Zoe1

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I don't think a child would be bothered
if you didn't interact with him very much
especially if they are getting what they need from their parents
worrying about what other people do
and comparing yourself is not always helpful

your niece seems to sense
that deep down you care about her
 
Lavender_Rose

Lavender_Rose

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I always had a problem with children. I walkway felt very awkward with them l, like I didnt know how to interact with them. Even after my nephew was first born I still felt a disconnect, but I think this was because of family issues going on. But then something changed. Im not sure what, but I felt love toward him and then when my niece was born I loved her too. They are both a little older now but I still feel that connection with them. I do still struggle with other people kids though. I just don't feel connected to them. It sounds horrible when I say it but I think most other kids are annoying. I don't like being around them, with very few exceptions. It actually something I talked about with my therapist. With me I also have trouble connecting to other adults too. Do you?
 
Lavender_Rose

Lavender_Rose

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Yes. In quite specific way, Ive made some topics talking about this.
You could just be someone who doesn't particularly like kids. There nothing wrong with that either. People tend to look down on that, the same way the do women who don't want to have kids. There nothing wrong with being a loner, or being picky about your friends, or not really being interested in being around kids. Its just who you are, if everyone was the same the world would be boring, and kinda creepy.
 
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ManDss

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You could just be someone who doesn't particularly like kids. There nothing wrong with that either. People tend to look down on that, the same way the do women who don't want to have kids. There nothing wrong with being a loner, or being picky about your friends, or not really being interested in being around kids. Its just who you are, if everyone was the same the world would be boring, and kinda creepy.
Yes. I dont see this I tell like something bad, as I said in the text I think its just interesting.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I am a bit disregarding around children too.
I don’t have the same enthusiasm and mystique that other people seem to have about them. I used to have more patience for them than I seem to have now. I don’t understand how some adults get so worked up about them. It seems to be the natural way for most adults to relate to kids these days so not being this way does make me feel a little strange.
 
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Zoe1

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if you want to enjoy the company of a child
and have their parents permission
its really a case of just enjoying yourself
try to remember what it was like at that age
and if all else fails play the fool
do a silly dance that completely embarrasses you
kids love that !
 

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