Any BP carers here??

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Davy

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#1
Hi all,

my wife is a long-time BP sufferer, I'm looking for advice from a carers perspective - is this the place??

Thanks

Davy
 
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Tabby120

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#3
Try looking for support forums and support groups for caregivers of people with chronic illnesses. Also most mental health forums have a completely separate sub-forum for caregivers and families, I don't know if there's one here but it's worth looking.
 
calypso

calypso

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#6
I am diagnosed bipolar and my daughter is the one to talk to. She nags me to take my meds on time as i am not very stable without them.

We have a general carers section - Carers and Mental Health
 
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LouiseMN

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#7
Maybe not,,, I'll keep searching
I think you should be able to find help here. People with BP disorder know how they do and don't want to be treated. So that may help you. I am sure there are others with BP loved ones lurking here.

I can try to help. My daughter was diagnosed 20 years ago. I joined the DBSA forum, like this one. I made friends. It really helped. My daughter is now married so I am no longer intimately involved. I have problems of my own (anxiety and depression) but am currently in a remision, feeling great. I can listen to your concerns. It is not easy having a loved one with bipolar disorder.
 
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LouiseMN

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#8
But per above I see there is a carers forum, which is what you want.
 
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Tabby120

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#9
I think you should be able to find help here. People with BP disorder know how they do and don't want to be treated. So that may help you. I am sure there are others with BP loved ones lurking here.
This forum, there's a huge emotional minefield involved. We are tough as hell on our families, especially the ones that we rely on the most to help make the world right. They are the ones that see us at our worst. They are the ones that deal with the falling apart once we've held it together to not show weakness to the big bad world, but we know we are safe with them and we quit being strong for a few minutes. They deal with the swings, they deal with the "Wtf? I'm fine! Deal with it" when we aren't fine, they have to worry about if we'll find where they hid the sharp objects, they have to worry about what they are going to find when they get home, every trip out, they worry if they are going to find a body, if they are going to find a blood puddle from self-injury, if they are going to find holes in the wall and everything broken, if they are going to find QVC delivered a lot of junk, or if they will luck out and find us sitting on the couch with popcorn and a movie on TV. And when all that wrings them out, or they get angry how it's ripped their life apart, voicing it to someone with mental illness really opens up the possibility of someone saying "Hey! We live in this brain. We have it far, far tougher than you, our reality is something you merely watch."

It's like that way with most chronic illnesses. Caregivers do a lot to help keep someone together, but if they voice their anguish or they voice their anger over how unfair life is that they have to do 150% to keep the house running because the other person can't to someone with that illness they often hear "Hey, deal with it, I'm the one with cancer/heart disease/no kidney. You've got the easy job." That's why there's often caregiver support groups for most chronic illnesses, so that people who understand all those emotions and have learned how to deal with the practicalities don't have to worry about hurting their loved ones' feelings. We (ill folks and caregivers) both have a tough and very unfair path through life, and that sense of unfair can make us turn on each other if we (ill folks) feel unloved and they (caregivers) feel forgotten and under-appreciated. There's a reason why caregiver burnout is so bad and sadly so common.
 
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LouiseMN

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#10
But per above I see there is a carers forum, which is what you want.
But where is it? Find the carers here. Might be good to change your name to something like "spouseofbp" or something like that so you are more easily recognized. When I was on the DB SA forum years ago my name was motherofbp. I found a lot of other family members out there.
 
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Tabby120

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#11
But where is it? Find the carers here. Might be good to change your name to something like "spouseofbp" or something like that so you are more easily recognized. When I was on the DB SA forum years ago my name was motherofbp. I found a lot of other family members out there.
There should be no insistence to change one's name to label themselves as simply an extension of another person.

@Davy definitely try out the Carers forum, as well as other caregiver resources.
 
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LouiseMN

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#12
There should be no insistence to change one's name to label themselves as simply an extension of another person.

@Davy definitely try out the Carers forum, as well as other caregiver resources.
There is a carers forum? Good. There was no such thing 20 years ago on DBSA . Depression Bipolar Support Alliance. So sorry.
 
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LouiseMN

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#13
You are so right. I hated my name after becoming friends with others on the forum with loved ones having bipolar disorder. I wanted to be something witty or like my real name. Now I did it again but at least it is about me, not my daughter.
 
Cazcat

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#14
Hi, I support my husband who suffers with episodes of psychosis and depression (Although he appears hypomanic at the moment and is awaiting a more definate diagnosis, schizoaffective has been mentioned by his psychiatrist as a possibility.) I have years of experience supporting him and really understand how hard it can be on the family. In our area there is a charity commissioned by the local services to support relatives/carers of people with mental illness which I find incredibly helpful. It would be worth googling mental health carer support for your area. I also find the Rethink Website helpful. Feel free to PM me if I can help.