Any advice from introverts please ? what should I do ?

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Introvertedbloke

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Jan 8, 2019
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#1
I am an introverted male 50 yrs old, I have only just realised how introverted I am within the last 5 years, my wife is very extroverted and we are clashing.

I grew up with a controlling father, lovely mother, I couldnt get on with my dad so rebelled, became estranged around the age of 25.

I used to see my mum occasionally, but my dad put a stop to that.
They are getting old now and I may not have the chance to see them again unless I make some kind of effort.
I saw my mum a couple of years ago, and we both cried,(I cant remember the last time i cried) but then my dad turned up, trying to control things again, so I left.

I have a deep feeling that somethings wrong, but dont know if its due to the relationship with my parents or some of my other issues.
Such as

Sunbathing obsession, hate of cold rainy country where I live, which I would say is my number one issue.
Struggling with my extroverted wife
Boredom, not having found a passion or life purpose apart from wanting to live somewhere warmer
Social anxiety,.
Hypothyroidism,
On medication, may not be working.
Obsession with wanting to emigrate.
Alcohol use

I have also lost connection to my old best friend, (probably due to my feeling of shame) he invited my parents to his party knowing we were estranged without telling me, (maybe trying to get us together?) and my dad grabbed me round the neck, I ended up punching him , causing a scene, whichI feel terrible about, I am not a violent person, I have run this over in my mind for years but always feel hate for my dad, I dont want to feel that way towards him, particularly towards the end, but dont know if I can make amends or forgive him.
 
I

Introvertedbloke

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Jan 8, 2019
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#2
Just to confuse things even more

What brought all this to the surface was that I have re connected with the old friend via facebook who wants to meet for a beer, I immediately said yes, but then had a sleepless night with anxiety , mind going all over the place projecting what may happen, what would I say ?

I struggle to make small talk at any time, never mind in an awkward situation of not having spoken for so long.

So I suggested we meet up with our partners, he said yes, and I cried with relief, and sadness that we had not spoken for so long.
( I am not very social and try to avoid social interaction if possible so this must mean something)

Im not sure if I cried because I associate him with my parents and the problems Ive had with them, or that I miss him, or that I feel wanted that he wants to meet up.

If anyone has similar experiences, or advice from introverts, thanks in advance.
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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#3
Google conversation starters or download a conversation starter app.

Your dad is the cause for your social anxiety because of his controllingnism. If you want to try to fix your relationship with him, practice makes perfect. Unless there is restraint and resistance then cut him from your life and love and forgive him from a far.

You and your wife should clash ideas on how to communicate and listen to each other and like actually listen.

Passion to emigrate and live somewhere warmer. Work at a tanning bed salon.

Drink socially.

Hypothyroidism try herbs but make sure it's for your thyroidism and can mingle with your meds. Plus, it's time to change medicine if the ones you're on isn't working out for you.

Oh yes, see your mom and call your mom anytime. Don't let your father bully you into staying away from her. Have meetups and routine phone calls and visits. Heck it's time you control your dad LoL seriously though let him know how to respect and know you.

Also you are overjoyed and relieved your old friend wants to connect and he isn't upset or worried about you and your father mishap at the party.

GL GB BS!
 
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Introvertedbloke

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#4
Thanks for that

Thanks for that, it makes sense, not sure about the tanning salon though, lol, I think its more of an explore the world, move somewhere warmer thing
 
RookieatBest

RookieatBest

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#5
You are welcome

Lol. Yes now that's a good passion! Good luck to you on being a world traveler. Maybe then you can lay off the sun lol, and see what else is amazing about this world. Be careful and discerning on what it offers though. GL GB BS!
 
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kevinloveslena

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Aug 21, 2018
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#6
Hello,

I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now. It seems you are excited to see your old friend and bringing your wife is an excellent idea! What I have found, as my wife is the introvert and I am the extrovert, is that when we go out together (which is not very often as I would much rather be with her) I tend to engage her more in the conversation…bring her out of her shell so to speak. Please know that I will be praying for you.

Blessings