anxious

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ramboghettouk

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#1
thought i'd post here because on the anxiety forum there isn't a section for schitzos with anxiety

haven't gone to my group today staying in avoiding people did walk round the block. meditated and exercised

what with the coming election, another 5 yrs of tory rule, if she gets in the nasty party will start showing it, chronics like me, whether or not they consider chronics deserving, how do these people know i'm a chronic, they have a profile of the chronic, receiving care, proffessionals milling around anyone who is living independently is a scrounger who if they can live independently can work

If the doctor writes to them saying i'm a chronic, they don't have much time for gps, they view as making things up

Fuel bills gone up again need to feed meter

Then theres the social cleansing and gentrification of london, where do i go lived here 30yrs know no one elsewhere, at that know no one in london

Seems the more i take tablets to cover up symptoms the more i'm left

i've never had much time for mental health services, day centres are more places carers can leave johnny whilst they have respite, don't meet my needs, i find myself bullyed there, the bully been violent quite often has a social worker to defend his interests, i have no one, it's not even an issue if i stop going
 
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fidget

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#2
it's really hard rambo, i'm sorry you're feeling so anxious, it can be so overwhelming. Especially like you say with the political situation being what it is, noone needs this horrible period of uncertainty right now.

Is there anything in the past that has helped with the anxiety when it gets this bad? It's good you managed to go for a walk and meditate.

In terms of your worries about your benefits, i know it is a huge concern for you and this is easier said than done but try and let those thoughts go. Try to break your pattern on ruminating on them. Right now you have just been rewarded your PIP and you have your ESA. It is terrifying not knowing what will happen in the future but you worrying about it right now won't change the future, it will just make the present harder. You are deserving of your benefits, i know it is a big worry for you not having a MH team in place to assist you when you are next reassessed but you are resourceful, you found people to vouch for you and you will find them again. There is good advice on benefits and work site on the best way to fill in the forms and you are bright, you'll be able to follow it and it will work out in the end.

It is hard not having a community and i agree that MH services aren't always the best places to be. When you are feeling a little calmer maybe it will help to look into other ways of meeting people, ramblers associations can be quite good cause its acceptable not to talk to anyone while your walking while you are not in the mood and there are different levels of fitness etc
 
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ramboghettouk

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#3
it's really hard rambo, i'm sorry you're feeling so anxious, it can be so overwhelming. Especially like you say with the political situation being what it is, noone needs this horrible period of uncertainty right now.

Is there anything in the past that has helped with the anxiety when it gets this bad? It's good you managed to go for a walk and meditate.

In terms of your worries about your benefits, i know it is a huge concern for you and this is easier said than done but try and let those thoughts go. Try to break your pattern on ruminating on them. Right now you have just been rewarded your PIP and you have your ESA. It is terrifying not knowing what will happen in the future but you worrying about it right now won't change the future, it will just make the present harder. You are deserving of your benefits, i know it is a big worry for you not having a MH team in place to assist you when you are next reassessed but you are resourceful, you found people to vouch for you and you will find them again. There is good advice on benefits and work site on the best way to fill in the forms and you are bright, you'll be able to follow it and it will work out in the end.

It is hard not having a community and i agree that MH services aren't always the best places to be. When you are feeling a little calmer maybe it will help to look into other ways of meeting people, ramblers associations can be quite good cause its acceptable not to talk to anyone while your walking while you are not in the mood and there are different levels of fitness etc
i remember one of my friends went on a walk with the haringey christians, it involved a train journey to the country, i mentioned special ticket offers if your disabled, my friend didn't want these haringey christians to know, i thought these people call themselves christians and claim the moral high ground

i doubt i could hide it and would be made unwelcome
 
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fidget

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#4
i remember one of my friends went on a walk with the haringey christians, it involved a train journey to the country, i mentioned special ticket offers if your disabled, my friend didn't want these haringey christians to know, i thought these people call themselves christians and claim the moral high ground

i doubt i could hide it and would be made unwelcome
i dunno, i guess my attitude is you never know until you try. And sometimes it is freeing not to hide it. Generally i don't talk about my MH but a few years ago when i was in a better place than i am now i went to a dance group, it was really hard and some of the warm up mindfulness exercises triggered psychotic experiences for me. In the end i opened up about it at one of the sessions cause i was so paranoid about it being really obvious. Most people were really nice about it, one or two were clearly very uncomfortable but i felt more at ease and i made a friend out of it in the end
 
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ramboghettouk

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#5
this group i go to, one of the people at the disability centre. now closed, said they're all mentally ill there, 1st time i went this women recognised my name from an on line mental health group we both used, i haven't exactly told people, but i wonder what this women has told them, she's revealed things about the other members which i guess i could do with knowing, this ex nurse is quite funny about me taking minutes, she was on about the nhs and i said to her there are people with my illness who will be quite pleased if the nhs disapears
 
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fidget

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#6
does it bother you what she might have said about you? If you know her from a mental health group hopefully she knows to be sensitive about it all. I guess you could always ask her? But honestly i think the best way is to try and cultivate a feeling of not giving a fuck, if they don't like that you are schizo diagnosed, that is their problem, not yours. Its what i always tell myself anyway.

And yes, indeed the NHS is a mixed blessing at best i think for many of us that have been in the MH system!
 
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ramboghettouk

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#7
if women don't like my schitzo diagnosis it's not just the womens problem, it's my problem when they avoid me, same for men

as for people like that not been worth knowing a large proportion of the population would appear to be not worth knowing
 
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fidget

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#8
I guess what I mean is you can't control their reaction, if they are uncomfortable and avoid you then that is up to them and those people don't deserve your energy and attention, save it for the people who arent so judgemental. Lord knows I know that a schizo diagnosis definitely does decrease the pool so to speak but that is just the way it is at the moment and it's better to invest your energy in people who are not judgemental, they are few but they are out there
 
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#9
thought i'd post here because on the anxiety forum there isn't a section for schitzos with anxiety

haven't gone to my group today staying in avoiding people did walk round the block. meditated and exercised

what with the coming election, another 5 yrs of tory rule, if she gets in the nasty party will start showing it, chronics like me, whether or not they consider chronics deserving, how do these people know i'm a chronic, they have a profile of the chronic, receiving care, proffessionals milling around anyone who is living independently is a scrounger who if they can live independently can work

If the doctor writes to them saying i'm a chronic, they don't have much time for gps, they view as making things up

Fuel bills gone up again need to feed meter

Then theres the social cleansing and gentrification of london, where do i go lived here 30yrs know no one elsewhere, at that know no one in london

Seems the more i take tablets to cover up symptoms the more i'm left

i've never had much time for mental health services, day centres are more places carers can leave johnny whilst they have respite, don't meet my needs, i find myself bullyed there, the bully been violent quite often has a social worker to defend his interests, i have no one, it's not even an issue if i stop going
A lot of certain similarities with my own circumstances. My anxiety levels have been very severe, it fluctuates.

To me the entire thing is a fiendish & endless catch 22.
 
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ramboghettouk

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#10
guess i'm feeling miserable, told gp i was tired he gave me blood tests he now says it's not physical it's psychological, i'm depressed over my elderly mother and financial problems it seems, he suggests anti depressants, i said i don't like taking the pillls i'm taking as it is, he said think about it

what with falling out with people, said to last psychiatrist who should be looking after me, is it family, or is it social services or should i be looking after myself, she said who do you think should be looking after you, i said i'm asking you, she closed my case
 
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#11
guess i'm feeling miserable, told gp i was tired he gave me blood tests he now says it's not physical it's psychological, i'm depressed over my elderly mother and financial problems it seems, he suggests anti depressants, i said i don't like taking the pillls i'm taking as it is, he said think about it

what with falling out with people, said to last psychiatrist who should be looking after me, is it family, or is it social services or should i be looking after myself, she said who do you think should be looking after you, i said i'm asking you, she closed my case
i know it's crap. i'm going to see the GP again about my own symptoms, i can't carry on with things as they are. i think a lot of things directly are caused or certainly exacerbated by circumstances, But how are we meant to change certain things?
 
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ramboghettouk

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#12
i know it's crap. i'm going to see the GP again about my own symptoms, i can't carry on with things as they are. i think a lot of things directly are caused or certainly exacerbated by circumstances, But how are we meant to change certain things?
i mentioned revolution to the gp he said it's not going to happen in the near future