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Anxious Mother- what’s wrong with me?

R

Reagan

New member
Joined
Nov 1, 2018
Messages
1
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum. I am kind of struggling with my emotion right now and I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.
People often tell me the more kids they have, the more relax they are towards kids. But that doesn’t apply to me.
In fact the more kids I have, the more anxious I have become.
I constantly worrying about the food they eat, the utensil they use (once I notice decoloration from a fork my kids have been using and I felt like I am the worst mom ever- why didn’t I stop him from using it earlier? I felt like trapped at the bottom of a pit and I can’t come out of it, I couldn’t function properly for weeks, constantly blaming myself).
I stay in an apartment that was built before the ban of asbestos. Currently they are doing lift upgrading, re-roofing and the unit downstairs is having renovation work done. The renovation including demolition of certain part of the house.
One day as I am bringing my 3 kids into the lift, some construction worker came out with a trolley of construction material. After entering the lift, I couldn’t help but kept thinking ‘would some part of building material contain asbestos?’, ‘would they demolish asbestos-containing-material and haul them into the lift?’, ‘would the lift be contaminated with asbestos and I had just brought my kids straight into the contaminated lift?’ . ‘Did I just expose my kids to carcinogen?’. My mind currently kept occupied with all these thoughts and I simply couldn’t snap out of it. I can’t function, I kept scolding the kids whenever they ‘disturbed’ my thought, I feel like my mind is broken, trapped inside the loop of my fear. I feel like worst mom ever that can’t even protect my kids.
I don’t have the money to see a psychiatrist, is what I am feeling normal? I don’t know if any other mother here feel the way I feel? Can anyone please share with me?
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
2,833
welcome to the forum

sorry to hear about what youre going through and i hope things get better for you
 
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