Anxious about GP increasing medication+Self-Esteem Issues.

C

Charlie-Is-Anxious

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Joined
Nov 20, 2017
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8
#1
Hi everyone,

So I have GAD, Hypochondria and Obsessive thoughts as well as a few compulsions and I'm on SSRI's for my various anxiety disorders and it's been brilliant and i'm only on 10mg a low does and I have been for months and it's been great but both my GP and my Psychiatrist said that they think I should increase it to 15 mg but that really worries me for a variety of reasons



1. I have put on 8 kg's because of the medication & I hate myself, I was already very unhappy about my weight and was trying to lose some but now I have to lose even more & I can't seem to lose any. Im scared increasing the medication will make me gain even more. I have considered purging or not eating, which I know is a bad idea.



2. Im anxious about taking my medication in general so I hate any kind of change around it. Im afraid I will get side effects. Im especially TERRIFIED of developing Serotonin Syndrome which is deadly



3. I thought I was doing ok, I have been heaps better so I didn't think I'd need to increase it. I will admit I have still been anxious and on top of all of my other anxieties some new obsessive and intrusive thoughts have been occurring, for example I got house plants in my room and I'm afraid that they will cause me to suffocate or hurt me at night because they respire and release carbon dioxide and use oxygen. Im also afraid that putting hoodies under the door (I do this to make a barrier so spiders can't crawl under the door while I sleep, I'v been doing it for over a year) will cause me to suffocate in my sleep from a lack of oxygen. So I can see why they think we should increase it, however I have been doing much better than when I wasn't.



Also I have been feeling really bad about myself mainly due to my weight and hips & stomach. I have considered not eating or throwing up, which I know is a bad idea, I'm a psych student so I understand how quickly it can develop into mental health issues, but I hate my body and I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because nothing fits and I cry and have a breakdown everytime I go shopping for clothes becuase I feel increadibly fat and nothing i want fits or suits my body so I have given up. So I just cry in change rooms get in a bad mood and want to die so I just complain and go home and be miserable.



Sorry about that I just needed a rant I think.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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#2
Hiya, I see this post is from a few days ago. Sorry you've not had a response yet.

I can understand why you'd be feeling anxious at an increase in medication.
It's always trial and error to get to the right dosage, and you have to weigh up the pros and cons in your mind as to whether it's advantageous to increase a dose.

Do you think that, having seen how much 10mg has helped, increasing the dose might help you more?
Or are you happy to continue with where you're at?
Also, i'm wondering if you've been offered any kind of therapy alongside your medication? It's all very well taking meds, but usually it takes more to really start making progress.

I'm sorry to hear of your self-esteem issues. Unfortunately, most medication of mental health has weight gain as a side effect.
Again, you have to take into consideration the benefits that the medication brings you.

Personally, i'm classed as severely obese but without the medication i'm on, i'd be suicidal. If it's literally saving my life, then sod it, my weight can just be as it is. :shrug:

Do you know what size you are at the moment? I had a phase where I just had to accept what I was. It may just be a number but the implications can make you feel pretty crappy.
What helped me is really valuing myself and thinking actually, I deserve to wear clothes that are comfortable and if that means buying a certain size, then so be it.

If high street shops don't stock your size (they don't stock mine!) then online shopping can be good. If you don't have a big budget, eBay is pretty good for getting a bargain.
You really are doing the best you can and fighting through some difficult issues, and as I said, you deserve to be comfortable.

I think that when you don't feel good about yourself, it's easy to stop caring about yourself. But feeling low is all the more reason to make the most of yourself.
 

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