F
F242
Member
This has been so far the hardest year of my life. I started struggling with severe anxiety. I stopped going out and corona virus seemed the perfect excuse to stay home in my safe zone. I want to mention that I started suffering from anxiety attacks last winter, I had no clue about it and was really shocked that I could actually experience such feelings. Ive always been a really social and active person, I used to go out literally everyday and meeting up with people was the easiest thing for me. I started suffering from bad anxiety attacks after I experienced a really bad one in public around February. I simply thought I had a panic attack, maybe caused by university stress. I also met a psychologist, who obviously told me I had anxiety.
Anyway, quarantine got all of us stuck at home, and my anxious side was somehow glad about it.
With time passing by and the virus getting better luckily, it was time for me to leave my house and do something about it. I'm aware of the fact that hiding and avoiding meetings and people doesn't get it any better. During the past months I tried hard to go out but everytime I experience anxiety and came back home feeling miserable and frustrated. I feel sorry for people who are around me who obviously see me struggling and have to worry about me. I wish I could go out feeling happy and focus on what the person in front of me says without sweating or think I will possibly pass out in the next 5 minutes.
I also have to mention that there was positive events where I didn't struggle at all, but eventually anxiety kicked in again.
Yesterday and even some days before, I was asked to go out and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I got myself together and got ready. Once I got to the place I started getting paranoid and was craving for cold water to calm me down (that's what sometimes makes me better in such situations). Obviously, didn't help this time. I was with my parents and it was their wedding anniversary. While eating I started feeling weak, lightheaded and I couldn't breathe properly even though we were sitting outside in an open space. I left the place and went out to calm down and eventually my mom followed me. We had a talk and I'm glad my parents are aware of this situation. I got "better" and came back to my family and the rest of the night went by.
I'm trying not to be negative and appreciate the fact that this was a short anxiety attack, however I am devastated and truly sorry to made my family worry in such occasion.
I don't want people to look at me and keep asking me if I feel sick, I just want to spend time with friends and family like a normal and calm person would. This situation is really damaging my relationships and my confidence.. I hope some of you can understand what I mean, I would write even more but I'm aware that this post is already too long lol
If some of you can relate, please reach out to me. Thank you.
Anyway, quarantine got all of us stuck at home, and my anxious side was somehow glad about it.
With time passing by and the virus getting better luckily, it was time for me to leave my house and do something about it. I'm aware of the fact that hiding and avoiding meetings and people doesn't get it any better. During the past months I tried hard to go out but everytime I experience anxiety and came back home feeling miserable and frustrated. I feel sorry for people who are around me who obviously see me struggling and have to worry about me. I wish I could go out feeling happy and focus on what the person in front of me says without sweating or think I will possibly pass out in the next 5 minutes.
I also have to mention that there was positive events where I didn't struggle at all, but eventually anxiety kicked in again.
Yesterday and even some days before, I was asked to go out and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I got myself together and got ready. Once I got to the place I started getting paranoid and was craving for cold water to calm me down (that's what sometimes makes me better in such situations). Obviously, didn't help this time. I was with my parents and it was their wedding anniversary. While eating I started feeling weak, lightheaded and I couldn't breathe properly even though we were sitting outside in an open space. I left the place and went out to calm down and eventually my mom followed me. We had a talk and I'm glad my parents are aware of this situation. I got "better" and came back to my family and the rest of the night went by.
I'm trying not to be negative and appreciate the fact that this was a short anxiety attack, however I am devastated and truly sorry to made my family worry in such occasion.
I don't want people to look at me and keep asking me if I feel sick, I just want to spend time with friends and family like a normal and calm person would. This situation is really damaging my relationships and my confidence.. I hope some of you can understand what I mean, I would write even more but I'm aware that this post is already too long lol
If some of you can relate, please reach out to me. Thank you.