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Anxiety surrounding my voice.

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Mikey22

New member
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Bristol
Hi,

I work in an office which is generally fine as the job is quite independent. I've always been anxious when speaking in a group of more than three people say. I just get really self-conscious. I'm usually fine when talking to someone one-to-one. But now I'm struggling to do that in the office because of other people sitting nearby who could be hearing what I'm saying. I hear other people chatting loudly away and I wish I could be confident like them.

I also hate the sound of my voice. I'm English, but have lived all over the country, so I don't really have an accent. Some people haven't been able to tell I'm English, which I hate. I've noticed (as well as other people), that my voice changes a lot in pitch and tone, depending on who I'm speaking to, but also just at any time. My voice broke at a normal teenage age, but I always think it sounds too high. This is what first led to me thinking obsessively about my voice and trying to speak deeper. I don't think I know what my actual speaking voice is, or should sound like. I've been consumed by this for a long time and I'm just so self-conscious of it. I know it's partly down to anxiety. I rarely just speak without thinking, I just think too much about how my voice will sound. It's really getting to me.

On the lighter side, maybe I'm out of 'practice'. I'm generally a quiet and shy person, and I usually find talking tiring.My diet isn't great and I don't sleep well, so I know that's something that needs addressing.

I often walk past people in the office, or say in a corridor, and especially if it's a chance encounter, I will try to say 'hi' but virtually nothing comes out of my mouth, it's just like a croak or something. And my voice does go higher with people I might be slightly intimidated by or a manager etc. I can't control it.

I've only been consumed by this the last few years, I didn't have any issues before. When I'm with close friends and family, people I'm comfortable with, I tend to have the same voice and tone.

Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks.
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
307
Location
London, ON
I think most people experience times when they wonder about their voice, or overthink what they will say.

I do, sometimes.

It's like, some people get clumsy around others if they are nervous. It's not weird for it to happen.

It might help to run what you mean to say in your head as you approach people, give yourself a rehearsal, so to speak.
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,433
Location
USA
I’ve also done the try to say hi in the hall and just wheeze at people thing lol. Idk why on earth it happens but I think it’s normal like it happens if I haven’t talked in a while.
 
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