- Oct 3, 2021
- Sometimes here, sometimes there
I feel social anxiety will always prevent me from getting my life in some kind of order. It affects entirely stupid things -- today, some minor administrative issue related to rubbish collection in our town. It seems that no matter what you want to do, you have to talk to people, or even worse, get on the phone to someone (which I am completely paralyzed about). I go to great lengths to avoid it, or at least to avoid the phone... often by wasting several hours actually walking somewhere to talk to someone in person rather than call them -- which is still very anxiety-inducing but a little better. When I need a doctor, I often ignore my symptoms for weeks (sometimes years!) so that I don't have to call the doctor's office. Some places now offer services online, or at least some email address you can write to, but where I live, it is still fairly underdeveloped. So lots of things remain unsolved in my day-to-day life, which increases my anxiety even more and makes me feel everything is out of control. I also feel that one day, something will come crashing on me and will think "What an idiot! I could completely have avoided this by taking to so-and-so two years ago. Why didn't I?" But I can't.