• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Anxiety, Physical Illnesses And Suicidal Thoughts

BlackNGreen

BlackNGreen

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2014
Messages
10
Lately my anxiety and emotions have been really out of control. If you ask how I'm doing when I woke up I could say that life is great, but if you ask again when it's evening I can give you totally different answer. My emotions go up and down, but I'm trying my best to stay somewhat sane and do my work at school. :nod1:

Last week has been… bad. Anxiety keeps me up all night, I'm crying all the time and I've skipped school almost every day. :( I'm really getting tired because all these physical illnesses. Right now I'm suffering from fever and sinusitis. I've been having diarrhea for 6 weeks and because of that I'm also waiting for endoscopy since my doctor thinks I could have some type of inflammatory bowel disease and possibly gastroesophageal reflux disease. And as if that's not enough I also have 3 spinal disc herniations which don't want to heal. :low: I'm just so tired of all this. :cry:

I seriously don't know what I should do right now. I've been having a lot suicidal thoughts since last christmas and I've told about them to my nurse. They changed my medication and first it seemed to work, but now I don't know anymore. I hope that someone could save me, but my nurse thinks I'm doing just fine. :confused: I guess she's right since I'm still here, but I don't know how long I can keep going like this anymore and I'm scared. I need help, but I don't know what to do. It feels like there's no help for me since I'm always "doing just fine." I guess I'm too strong for my own good since my pain is always hidden behind a smile :cry:

All I'm left with is medication and once a month meetings with my nurse. I wish that someone would take my seriously for once and hear me out. I'm tired, I'm desperate. I'm scared to get help though because I'm pretty poor and I know therapy etc. is expensive. What if I don't have money? Does that mean that I should just give up? I'm so scared. :cry:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
It sounds like you're really struggling with both your mental and physical health.
It's tough enough to deal with one of those, but when you're feeling unwell in body and mind it's really draining, isn't it? :hug1:

Do you feel like you are honest with your nurse? I'm not doubting you at all, I suppose it seems like it's a strange thing for her to say when you're still feeling so low.
Being alive is not the same as living your life, and as a nurse she should know that.

I think the fact that the pills helped initially but don't work so well now shows that you would probably benefit from other approaches.
Have you asked your nurse about getting a referral to talking therapies?
I don't know what there is on offer where you live, but some mental health teams offer 'emotional skills' type courses. These aren't really focused on talking about your problems, they are intended to teach you some skills to help you cope better.

The thing is, if you wait for something else to be offered, you could be waiting a long time.
It is generally best to try and be assertive and ask for what you need. So if you can be brave and have a conversation with your nurse, it may well turn out that you would be able to get some more support.
 
Top