L
lizzie g
Member
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2009
- Messages
- 15
Well after splitting from my boyfriend on friday after two weeks of increasing anxiety that the relationship wasn't working for me, the anxiety doesn't seem to be getting any better.
Every relationship I have is ruined because I get anxiety about being in a relationship. I get anxious & suffer panic attacks & end it with that person to stop feeling so bad. Then once I've ended it I get anxious about being on my own & anxious that I'm never going to meet anyone I feel comforatable with.
Example of this anxiety: Monday i have my first meeting with a psychaitrist so my ex text me to see how things had gone. Well I was happy to here form him but when I started texting him back I began to feel the first waves of a panic attack. It didn't develop into a fall panic attack they don't anymore since I've been on the proxatine.
I've been anxious ever since. All I have to do is think about a guy I think is cute & the panic & anxiety start to increase! It's ridiculous!
The only way I'm going to be able to avoid feeling like this is to avoid getting into a relationship, which isn't how I want to live my life! Everything seems so hopeless & pointless at the moment. I feel so down. They've increased my proxatine from 20mg to 40mg from Tuesday but I'm begining to feel that nothing is going to help & that the drugs will just mask the worst of my feelings. Even the thought of the CBT I will be starting seems pointless. I can't see how doing anything is going to make this anxiety & panic go away apart from being lonely & single for the rest of my life.
I just want to sit here & cry at how my life has turned out. I'm only 26 & I really can't see things getting better for me. I just want to be happy in myself, hold down a relationship & have agood future. Why is that so much to ask?
It seems so unfair that I have to suffer with this useless illness & all it's problems.
I sometimes wish that I did have it in me to end it all. But I made a promise to my ex & to my friends that I wouldn't do anything silly. But feeling nothing seems so appealing to feeling the crap I'm feeling at the moment.
I've said before that I'm tired of being ill & of having to fight this depression & anxiety for possibly the rest of my life. I was positive at one stage but the anxiety is getting worse & worse & I really don't know what to do anymore.
Every relationship I have is ruined because I get anxiety about being in a relationship. I get anxious & suffer panic attacks & end it with that person to stop feeling so bad. Then once I've ended it I get anxious about being on my own & anxious that I'm never going to meet anyone I feel comforatable with.
Example of this anxiety: Monday i have my first meeting with a psychaitrist so my ex text me to see how things had gone. Well I was happy to here form him but when I started texting him back I began to feel the first waves of a panic attack. It didn't develop into a fall panic attack they don't anymore since I've been on the proxatine.
I've been anxious ever since. All I have to do is think about a guy I think is cute & the panic & anxiety start to increase! It's ridiculous!
The only way I'm going to be able to avoid feeling like this is to avoid getting into a relationship, which isn't how I want to live my life! Everything seems so hopeless & pointless at the moment. I feel so down. They've increased my proxatine from 20mg to 40mg from Tuesday but I'm begining to feel that nothing is going to help & that the drugs will just mask the worst of my feelings. Even the thought of the CBT I will be starting seems pointless. I can't see how doing anything is going to make this anxiety & panic go away apart from being lonely & single for the rest of my life.
I just want to sit here & cry at how my life has turned out. I'm only 26 & I really can't see things getting better for me. I just want to be happy in myself, hold down a relationship & have agood future. Why is that so much to ask?
It seems so unfair that I have to suffer with this useless illness & all it's problems.
I sometimes wish that I did have it in me to end it all. But I made a promise to my ex & to my friends that I wouldn't do anything silly. But feeling nothing seems so appealing to feeling the crap I'm feeling at the moment.
I've said before that I'm tired of being ill & of having to fight this depression & anxiety for possibly the rest of my life. I was positive at one stage but the anxiety is getting worse & worse & I really don't know what to do anymore.
