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Anxiety over booking holidays help?

C

CharmingJunkie

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2015
Messages
11
Hi, me and my boyfriend, best friend and her boyfriend go on holiday every year together. Last year was our first one abroad. My best friend has struggled previously with anxiety, mostly over food. She struggled every night of the holiday to eat and had mild panic attacks just thinking about it. We had a lovely holiday but I know it was slightly overshadowed by this for her.
She went to the doctors after the holiday and has been to mindfulness classes which have helped a lot and she has been coping with it a lot better.
now were planning on going away again this year but it's causing her a lot of anxiousness because she's worried that it'll happen again. Because of this she's hardly showing and interest and keeps putting off booking it because of various reasons. She's going through a lot at the moment including her grandad being terminally Ill and the workload of her final year in uni. I completely understand and because of this I have tried not to put any pressure on her about it.
But the uncertainty of knowing what's going to happen is making me really anxious. It's getting to the point where I can't look for holidays or thinking about it without it making my heart race and feeling nauseous.
I have said to her a couple of times that if she doesn't want to go then we would rather her just say and we would completely understand. She says that she does want to go she's just worried about the food. But every time we try and book it or it gets brought up (not by her) she just seems disinterested and finda another reason why we should wait to book it.
I'm already anxious because they're going for a short break with another couple which has upset me because I'm scared of losing them to the other couple as they seem to be getting closer. So thT on top of this is just really getting me down and I'm struggling to go a day without thinking about it and feeling down.
I don't know what I can do to try and get over it, I really need a bit of help on how to deal with the anxiety I'm feeling.
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
Sorry to hear this.
It does sound as if your friend is messing you around a bit....problems with food or not!
You've been very understanding and have been very tolerant, so some honesty wouldn't go amiss to calm your own anxiety.

I think I would ask her straight - but gently - about why she doesn't want to book the holiday. She may well have a lot on her plate with her final year at uni and her grandfather dying....you can't really predict what may happen and when with these things, so it's understandable isn't it?

You could also mention the other couple...which may be the source of your own anxiety perhaps?....and tell her that you are afraid of losing her company to them. Be honest and tell her how it makes you feel.

Friends aren't always an "either / or" situation......sometimes they mix and sometimes one friend is a better match to a situation than another.....it feels personal, and like a rejection but true friendship will last.

I think I would try to meet this one head on....with a bit of tact....and then at least you will know the outcome. That's easier than not knowing.

x
 
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