Anxiety on an Off for 10 years, the worst its been in a long time now

J

Justbreath5

Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2018
Messages
6
#1
I dealt with panic attacks and anxiety in college about ten years ago. and for the most part have been free of them except for maybe a few minor episodes.

Anyway recently I have been having what I would describe as constant anxiety and sometimes panic disorder. Im constantly worried that something is wrong with me. I used to be able to fall asleep very easily now I cant sleep through the night without waking up multiple times (often panicked).From the second I wake up in the morning I feel a little on edge and often get dizzy and nervous.

I just got back from a 2 moth trip to southwest Asia (which I cant believe I made it through based on all my current anxiety after returning home) so im hoping some of the sleep issues are jet lag but in general I keep having lots of negative thoughts and convincing myself there is a bigger issue than just the anxiety. I just feel really off recently. after googling symptoms I keep thinking maybe I have diabetes or leukemia or some other disease which I know seems absurd. like I cant figure out if my physical symptoms are causing the anxiety or the anxiety is causing the symptoms. All of my friends are getting married and have super successful jobs and im always telling myself that I am not going to be able to do that. im constantly battling negative thoughts and worry about the future which is dragging me down daily.

i meditate and am aware of CBT and deep breathing etc but I just cant get out of my own head. I have a physical set up in 2 weeks to try and rule out any issues. I got a few Lorazepam from my doctor a while ago which I try not to take but have been taking the past few days because its just so difficult.
Anyway im thinking it may be time to talk with a therapist or ask my parents to help. no one knows how bad struggle with this and I feel like just being more vulnerable may help some.

First post just trying to vent. Here is a list if my symptoms that come on and off throughout the day/week, not sure why they have peaked suddenly after not having anxiety for a few years.

Dizzyness
Blurry Vision
Trouble concentrating and speaking clearly
Shaky Legs
Nervousness
Joint Pain
Insomnia
Fatigue

would appreciate some other people sharing stories or advice so I feel like its not just me feeling this way.

thanks
 
O

Overthinker420

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2018
Messages
23
Location
United Kingdom
#2
You are not alone!

Hello there,

Firstly i would like to say you are 100% not alone in this, i too suffer with many of your symptoms and find it hard to be honest and open about what is happening inside my head through fear of being judged.

I am in the early stages of trying to get over a similar period in my life so can only tell you were i am in my journey.

I had been suffering for months with similar symptoms to you, googling my symptoms and convincing myself i had something much worse than i did. In addition to this i had lumps on my ribs and really bad stomach pain. After googling my symptoms in roughly March/April i had convinced myself that i had a chest wall tumour and an inflamed spleen (both of these things being potentially life threatening). I spent the next 5/6 months convincing myself i wouldn't be around much longer.
After this i started to get really depressed and my anxiety was worse than it had ever been and i couldn't cope anymore. One day after a sleepless night i decided i had to help myself and made an appointment with my doctor.
So, after the initial appointment any life threatening illness were ruled out and after a quick scan i was diagnosed with anxiety produced IBS and a lipoma (non-cancerous fatty lump).
After explaining to my doctor (finally) after so long about my anxiety i have now been prescribed fluoxetine in order to try and manage my anxiety.
So, I've been on this new medication for 3 months now and it is helping slightly. It does help me not to be so anxious when in work or out shopping. It helps me almost put on a 'brave face' when i'm out and about.
I would say that it is not the 'cure' that i initially thought it would be but definitely helps take the edge of day to day life. CBT , meditation and other forms of relaxing and reflecting along side the medication does help manage the 'intrusive thoughts' as i like to call them.
I have still not been truly honest with anyone about what goes on inside my very complicated head, but i feel like i have made a start on managing it. I's just a journey that has to be taken day to day.

Although this post does not provide much advice on what to do in your own situation. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

This is my first post so hope it has been helpful,
Here if you need to talk,
Stay Safe,
Peace out! Overthinker420:flower2:
 

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