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Anxiety/OCD over created fighters in a video game.

MrBond007

MrBond007

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
112
Location
England
First of all, I didn’t know whether to write this in the Anxiety forum or OCD forum.


Okay so, I’ve been playing a certain game a lot recently for my PS3 called EA MMA (a great game btw). I’ve been playing it for the past 2 weeks or so. One thing I love to do in this game is to create fighters. Around 12:00am last night, I decided to create my second fighter and after a while I created my third. So overall I have 3 created fighters in my game.



However I have noticed recently that my game was crashing a lot more than usual (it usually happens on loading screens). Maybe it was because of overuse since I was playing a lot of it recently. I remember I went into Create A Fighter to edit one of my fighters. As I saved and exited, low and behold the game crashed as it was saving the changes. There was nothing I could do so I had to turn off my console, which resulted in my created/downloaded fighters save file to be corrupted. So I had to recreate them 3 fighters all over again.



Fortunately the Create A Fighter mode in EA MMA isn’t that in-depth. So I managed to recreate all 3 of my fighters exactly how they was without a problem. I just wanna point out that this has happened once before (about a couple days ago) when I finished off making my first fighter and then it crashed whilst saving the changes, so I had to remake him again which was a bit of a bummer.



Anyways, last night (which was rather late since my sleeping pattern is currently messed up), I recreated all 3 of my fighters. But this time, I wrote down a formula on how to make them in a notepad, and copied the Created/Downloaded Fighters file on a USB, just in case if it does indeed crash again. Luckily my career fighters are saved on a separate file so I didn’t lose them but I still copied them also because why not.



Recreating everything was pretty easy aside from the fighter’s attributes which was a bit of a struggle for me to remember, however I knew roughly were everything needed to be, I.e this certain fighter would be good on the ground, fast hands, powerful kicker, good/bad at submissions, etc.



I recreated all 3 of my fighters last night, and I was pretty proud of the fact I managed to recreate them all and wrote the formulas down for them as well as copy the file on an external USB without the game crashing. It took me a while however last night to properly fit their attributes as I remembered but I managed to get it to a point where it was up to my standard after a while of testing. I even played them a few times before going to bed and I was indeed satisfied. I reassured myself by telling myself I could change their attributes whenever I wanted if I don’t feel they are right.



Anyways I still stayed up for quite a while after turning my PS3 off and I was mostly calm (I went to bed at about 9am). I woke up at 5pm today, I then decided to get up and go to the gym as usual. Once I came back home, my tea was waiting for me, and once I was half way through my tea, boom! I had this anxious/OCD-esc wave hit me, worrying about my created fighters on that game. I was basically worrying that the fighters I made last night where somehow still not the same for when I made them the first time, even though everything was virtually the same.



This didn’t come on gradually either, it was a very sudden thought whilst I was eating tea. Because of this I went onto my PS3 straight after to reassure myself everything was indeed the same and again from what I saw there was no real difference. My OCD however was telling me different, and that something was off about them whether that being their appearance (which I knew for a fact was the same) or attributes (which I knew they was roughly the same).



Again even though I knew I recreated them exactly as they where, I still tried to reassure myself that if I wasn’t fully satisfied with them then I could always still change them whenever I wanted to. I’ve noticed when I am actually playing the game as them, I don’t really feel anxious over them. It’s only when I turn the game off is when I start to think and this creates an urge to check on them some more. It’s rather agitating. My OCD is telling me something is different when in fact I couldn’t find any real difference for when I made them the first time.



I think this is maybe because subconsciously when I was first making my fighters, I had more of a creative mindset thus making me more proud of my creations. The second time I made them it was only because I felt like I had to, and I was doing that whilst writing the formulas down so it wouldn’t have been the same experience making them all even though they where virtually all the same.



I guarantee if I was to go on my PS3 one day and start playing as them, without knowing they had been recreated, I probably wouldntve saw a difference. But knowing that I had to recreate them, it’s just that they don’t feel the same to me. Which is a major bummer because I had to recreate them again. My file got corrupted so there was nothing I could do besides that. And I knew exactly how everything was before so I may as well create them again.



If anyone knows me, then you’d know my OCD/anxiety tends to be around a lot of things such as this. Since I’ve wrote various threads about a variety of different things. My anxiety about the situation started to get pretty high after turning my PS3 off just now. I’d usually send a message to my therapist whenever I’m feeling like this but unfortunately I have finished my course (SilverCloud) with him. So I had nothing else to do aside from write it on here.
 
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