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Anxiety ,ocd ,jealousy and feeling like an adult child

R

Reyna

Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Romania
Hello everyone! I have big anxiety issues and looks like I run out of options for what could help me get better. I have ocd symptoms, some social anxiety, I had anorexia (hopefully I recovered), panic attacks. I will briefly share my story here because it is too long. I have anxiety since my early teenage years, and now I'm 24 years old. It's been long time of trying to resolve it, from following the urges that anxiety gives me to medication and therapists, alternative treatments, self-help materials etc. In the first place I am a hypersensitive person and prone to anxiety, but I'm pretty sure that my childhood environment had an impact on my emotional health. My father has the traits of a narcissistic person and so many times in my life he criticised, humiliated, insulted me. On the other hand my mother is kinda overprotective and she always accepted any of my requests including help me following my ocd urges. It's true that she was the only one who supported and helped me during my bad times.
Now I have my own family but I feel I am still so much of a child mentally and emotionally. Now my husband is the target of my anxiety, because I am very jealous and I request or ban him to do many things that can trigger my jealousy /anxiety. Now he is also very stressed himself and too difficult for him to respond to my requests but if I don't receive the relief I need, I get high anxiety, depressed feelings, some kind of betrayal feelings, and even panic attacks. Each few seconds or minutes when the thought pops up the anxiety paralyzes and suffocates me. Sometimes I'm wondering which makes me more anxious , the fact that I'm so jealous or that he refuses me. I know that following the anxiety is not the solution and can only worsen the condition plus it disturbs the important people around me too, resulting in a lot of unhappiness which I'm living right now. That's not what I want to happen, but I can't see any way out. Does anyone else can relate to what I'm going through? Even something similar. I need an opinion, advice, anything.
 
J

Jomp

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
71
Location
UK
You may feel alone, but anxiety is a pandemic that's been infecting the world long before Covid.

Anxiety is like a car rolling down a hill; once it starts it's hard to stop and quickly becomes out of control.

It's hard to advise, because it's not clear whether there's anything specific that caused your anxiety or whether it's just an accumulation of things that have built up over the years.

Obviously, your doctor would be a first step, but there are some simple, but highly effective, things you can do to ease the symptoms and help the condition not be self-repeating.

Most of the symptoms of anxiety are caused by increased adrenaline levels going through your system as the fear creates a stress reaction in you, leading to palpitations, stomach issues, runaway thoughts and many other physical symptoms.

Two ways to help deal with this:
First, tell your body that you're not stressed, and you do this by breathing as if you're resting. Count to five in through the nose, hold for two, seven out through the mouth. This is highly effective, if you continue it for a full five minutes. Your body will react to the low-stress breathing by slowing down the other processes that are leading to the anxiety symptoms.
Secondly, give the adrenaline something to work on. Exercise. Go for a walk, run if you can, anything that gets your heart rate up for about 20-30 minutes (Less if you're very unfit). These "simple things, done well" are the best tools for fighting anxiety.

Form the above into habits while you tackle the cause.

There are a few things therapists will suggest, and they all depend on the type of person you are. One could be that you start keeping a diary of your days. What you ate, where you went and, most importantly, how you felt. You may start to see a pattern forming of what is contributing to the stress.

Another is to start focusing on something else; something that you don't have to do but gives you a sense of purpose that you can enjoy. Anything is good, from basket weaving to painting to stripping down motorbike engines. Whatever you find interesting and will give you a constructive purpose.

Finally, talk to your partner about it, and try to identify the anxiety as an external issue that you're both facing, not a fault in you: "What shall we do today to help deal with this anxiety that's affecting us."

Talking is very important, but very difficult with anxiety, because it seems so weird and out of place. Go for a walk with your partner, or a drive in the car; anything that gives you a relaxed environment.

Anxiety is manageable and, once under management, will begin to ease. Sometimes it's fine to be anxious, but now it's time to tell your body, "enough is enough."
 
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