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Anxiety is suffocating me...



Jun 10, 2020
Hi everyone, I hope you will understand me, because english isn't my first language.
I'm having a tough day after a very tough couple of years. Two years ago I've experienced events that still burden me heavily. My family members passed away in terrible circumstaces and I have been in extreme stress for over two years of taking care for my terminal ill relative. As a result I got health anxiety manifesting in obsessive thinking and googling my symptoms for hours, unable to relax even for a second during these two years. I believe I also have depression and maybe PTSD and burnout. My physical symptoms are constant nervousness, tinnitus, tension headaches, twitching muscles, painfull legs, pins and needles. I lost a lot of weight because I really didn't take care of myself and sometimes still don't. I am trying to get back on track, but every single thing throws me off.

Right now I am stressing about stress I am in. I'm woried that stress is making me sick. And I'm afraid of not being able to heal. That my cortisol has been to high for to long. I'm reading articles about damaging effects of stress and high cortisol and I'm falling apart. Just want to get well. Be healthy. Is there anyone who had this kind of stress and survived it? And is healthy?

Thanks to anyone who will reply...


Well-known member
Apr 1, 2020
United States
Aww, Aleks82! I'm so sorry to hear that!

What a terrible series of events. I'm very fortunate that my parents are still alive, but I can't imagine losing them both in two years time. I don't know which family members you've lost. Whoever they are, I wish I could say more to you than "I'm sorry."

I've lost family members as well though I haven't been nearly as affected as you have. This is a terrible time to be without your family as all the stress of Covid-19 makes everything worse.

I don't recommend that you keep looking up how stress is effectively you negatively. Instead, you could look up ways to combat stress or even how stress can be beneficial. At the very least, you'll get a different, more positive perspective on the things happening to your body.

Looking at the things that are happening to you in a negative way only worsens their hold over you. Try not to label the things you're feeling as good or bad; they're neutral. Having these emotions right now is normal. You're under a lot of stress and in a lot of emotional pain. Accepting these feelings is important. Remove as much negativity as you can regarding your stress and you'll be able to accept how you're feeling easier.

I can't begin to recommend therapy enough! Your issues would greatly benefit from a therapist, whether online or in-person. Try to find someone in your network or someone you can afford to see at least once a month to discuss the feelings you're having. Believe me, it does wonders for the conscious because it gives you a place to vent your fears and frustrations.

Meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy are also two proven ways to deal with mental stress and anxiety. This book can help you get started with CBT on your own: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies for Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, and Worry: Gillihan Ph.D, Seth J.: 9781939754851: Amazon.com: Books. Meanwhile, meditation can really help calm your system. Pulling air through your nose, forming your mouth in a tight o-shape, and releasing that breath will help you relax. But it takes practice to do it right. It took me a long time to figure out I was actually breathing wrong!

You may not be ready for any of this right now. I understand. I only started to work on myself when I was ready and motivated. When that time comes, I hope you find the support and resources that will help you get through your darkest days.

You deserve a great life, Aleks82! Good luck and Stay Safe!