- Mar 11, 2017
About 11 years ago I was diagnosed with ADD, severe clinical depression and anxiety. I was about 14 when I first started suffering from both disorders and while I am medicated for my ADD, and something to help me sleep, (I used to have VERY bad nightmares caused by the depression and anxiety) it seems like it still gets in the way with EVERYTHING including my hobbies, relationships, and work life. I'm a musician (vocalist, death metal, not in a band currently, still living with parents which makes me feel like a big loser) but everytime I want to try and practice my vocals it seems like I just come up with excuses due to myself beating the crap out of myself because I expect better than what is put into action. Same thing with EVERYTHING else. I just started a new job that's extremely fast paced, (today was my first day) and I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking "Wow this guy is a real moron" and "what a pushover. What's his problem?" I get insanely nervous when I have to ask anyone for anything and can't keep eye contact with anyone. Not even my best friends who I also find excuses and reasons not to hang out with them, then end up, as you can guess, beating the ever loving snot out of myself. It's like I can't ever say "no" lest I then become the "jerk who isn't worth crap" I feel like either way I'm screwed. Say yes, I get ran over. Say no, I'm hated. Ask for anything or help, I'm an idiot. I really believe the source of all of this was caused by my ex fiancé who ended up cheating on me with one of my "friends" for 2 months behind my back, then leaving in the middle of the night without me knowing it. I used to not be this badly "stressed and hopeless" until then. I feel extremely unattractive due to my teeth being in bad shape, and having no self confidence. Its like the world is against me, and there's no chance of ever being accepted or liked. Can you guys please help me and give some advice?