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Anxiety - How would you feel or react to this...?

L

Lostpossum

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Feb 17, 2021
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How would you feel/react if you had an unexpected pregnancy 5 years into a relationship then upon announcing it to your boyfriend, who has anxiety issues, he has a panic attack about finances and figuring everything out during it considering you both were unemployed, living at your seperate parents? He shares he doesnt know if he is ready to be a father but he will do whatever he can to make it work.

Then once he calmed down, he wrote you a letter apologizing about the panic attack and explains his panic, then wants to support you and figure everything out.

How would you react/feel about him panicking to this situation?

Would you feel like he does not love you or does not want to be with you?
 
Wheelie Bin Barry

Wheelie Bin Barry

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Everything you described is screaming how much he cares about you and the children you will have together, the thought of not doing a good enough job for your family scared him so much, that he panicked.

Not only was his panic innocent, it was a sign of how deeply he cares, the fact that he felt the need to apologise for being anxious about your welfare is also evidence of this, he was concerned it would upset you, and tried to reassure you as best he could, even though it was the fear of doing right by you that made him anxious in the first place.

There is no negativity in his response at all, I think he needs reassuring from you that he will be a good father, let him know that you believe in him, he wants to be there for you, there is no doubt of that in my mind. :hug:
 
E

EclipticNight

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I also believe that this is showing how much he cares. He instantly thought of you and the child and how he could be the best he can. Lots of people have panic attacks finding out they will be a parent. Its huge life changing news. Imagine the emotions that just blasted through him in an instant. His love for you, doubt he is good enough, doubt he can succeed, determination to succeed despite it all, fear of the unknown. He has a time table now too. As a male myself I can tell you the first thing I'd of worried about is how on earth to keep you safe from covid. It's a protective instinct, totally natural.

He wrote tou because he calmed down and had time to rationalize it all. He needed time to process everything. Once he did he must have felt terrible for panicing and wrote you to both reassure you it was a reaction and that he is ready to do what needs to be done.

As a side note for at least the men I know nothing is more terrifying than the idea of failing as a father. He will need you as much as you need him. Your his strength and he your rock. Enjoy this time together, the first pregnancy only happens once!

Also congratulations.
 
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