Anxiety/Depression. New to this forum

[skelt2020]

Hi all, I am new to this forum

I have been suffering with anxiety since around 18, I find it super hard to relax and am always in a constant panic about one thing or another, it’s seems my brain won’t let me relax so when I calm down about one thing it creates something new for me to worry about. I can’t remember the last time I felt ‘normal’
A lot of my anxiety is based through health I am always worrying about my health and scared something is seriously wrong with me. What doesn’t help is I have extreme phobia of hospitals/doctors as I am really worried they’ll always give me very bad news. I rarely have panic attacks it’s just more of an intense anxious feeling 247. I have suffered with anxiety for so long now I am struggling to be happy so I feel like it’s moving on to depression, I always feel like I have this dark cloud over me and find it hard to find joy out of anything. I cry a lot for no reason because I feel genuinely sad about life, I have really bad random mood swings and outbursts of anger (I feel like this is because my brain is constantly running at 100mph due to the health anxiety) my thoughts are always so negative, I don’t really have any really close friends I can speak to and my boyfriend doesn’t understand and thinks I’m a bit weird, my mum also has suffered really bad from anxiety and depression so I don’t like to put any more pressure on her....

 

[jamraspberry]

Hi skelt2020, welcome! I am always trying to battle anxiety too, it's awful. I try to do this breathing techniques meditation, it helps a bit. Hope you enjoy the forum

 

[Chase1]

Welcome skelt2020! I suffer from anxiety as well and know those negative thoughts can be tricky to deal with. I've been using a combo of counseling, meds and online support to try and get through. I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you find support here. I'm new here too and everyone has been very kind.

 

[skelt2020]

Welcome skelt2020! I suffer from anxiety as well and know those negative thoughts can be tricky to deal with. I've been using a combo of counseling, meds and online support to try and get through. I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you find support here. I'm new here too and everyone has been very kind.

Hi,
Thank you for your message. Can I ask what type of negative thoughts you have? I just don’t know if they are similar... I always find when I feel slightly relaxed for a short period of time my brain then remembers ‘you have anxiety and shouldn’t be relaxing’ it’s a nightmare. Any tips appreciated

thanks
Sophie

 

[R_Sxo]

Welcome!x

 

[sadgirl]

Hi skelt2020 and welcome to the forum please feel free to look around and post whenever you can

 

[Chase1]

Hi,
Thank you for your message. Can I ask what type of negative thoughts you have? I just don’t know if they are similar... I always find when I feel slightly relaxed for a short period of time my brain then remembers ‘you have anxiety and shouldn’t be relaxing’ it’s a nightmare. Any tips appreciated

thanks
Sophie

No problem! Sorry you're dealing with this.

Mine can differ from situations but my main intrusive thoughts are based around my self esteem. I'm always assuming people hate me or are using me. Or that I am going to mess something up, not doing a good enough job, don't look good enough etc. I also have some health based ones, so even prior to this covid situation I would have to wash my hands in fear of getting something. A few times I thought something was seriously wrong with me health wise and the anxiety created panic attacks that led to the ER. Only thing I left with was a crazy hospital bill.

I have had to learn to recognize that this is just my anxiety and counter the intrusive thoughts with positives ones. Or keep myself occupied. Sometimes I'll imagine a stop sign if they keep popping up or listen to music to keep my mind occupied. Meditation helps me and so does exercise.

It also helps talking to my psychologist because she can just confirm what my anxiety is and isn't. If my anxiety is leading to a panic attack I have medication prescribed to use so I can relax.