Anxiety depression derealisation help

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PaigeTWoods

Active member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
29
#1
Hi everyone,

I have been living in an alternate state for almost a year now and I really need some advice because I feel this is never going away.

To start off, last year I moved back home to save. Big mistake because my family is very disfunctional at the best of times. Around this time my dad was suffering major depression, drinking 24/7 and in a downward spiral. He tried to commit suicide twice while I was living there. I also had a dog who was my world, she became sick this year too coughing and getting sick constantly as her heart was deteriorating. I also started doing a masters and changing role in work to a guidance counsellor (I was kinda forced into this role and wasn’t sure it was for me). At home I was fighting a lot with my mam and sister too.

So all this was going on for a year, stressed in work, stressed in college, stressed at home and couldn’t sleep at night because I was fearing for both my dog and my dads life if I fell asleep maybe that would be the night they died. Then my world came crashing down on me, a student in my school who I was counseling died of a brain injury, my dad tried suicide again and my dog (and soul mate) died while in the vet overnight. My world imploded.

I began having panic attacks 24/7, couldn’t eat or sleep. Felt like I was going crazy or dying it alternated. I had also moved out of my parents at this stage hoping that the stresses would be gone but it was too late. I ended up in a&e after 1 week of no sleep. This is when I started on anti anxiety meds.

Over time the extreme panic attacks went but I am left with this horrible feeling that nothing is real. I am detactched from my self, my loved ones, my life, my memories everything. Nothing seems real anymore. This has been a constant state of mind for a year now and it has caused depression. I sometimes feel like the only way to end this is to die.

I have tried everything, I have been going counseling for a year, taking meds for a year nothing working. I want to quit college and work. I feel I have gone crazy. I don’t know who I am anymore nothing feels real or right and I am not confident I can ever go back to the way I once was.

I know this is a super long post but I just want anyone who has any insight into what might be happening to tell me cause I am so confused nd scared. Any words of comfort or advise would be so appreciated.

Thanks so much
 
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Jenjbear

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2019
Messages
14
Location
Slc utah
#2
Paige, I understand what you're going thru. In 2010 I had ECT treatments and it was a miracle. From there I took Citalopram (Celexa) 40 mg's for a couple years. Then I was able to cut back to 20 mg's for several years. Just a couple months ago I fell into a deep depression. I'm currently getting ECT treatments and am coming out of my depression. The doctor also upped my dose of Citalopram to 40 mg's. I've tried a few different antidepressants over the years and have found Citalopram to work the best. Citalopram is used for depression, panic disorder, & ptsd. I highly recommend ECT treatments, and Citalopram. Best wishes, I hope you get well.
 
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PaigeTWoods

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Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
29
#3
Paige, I understand what you're going thru. In 2010 I had ECT treatments and it was a miracle. From there I took Citalopram (Celexa) 40 mg's for a couple years. Then I was able to cut back to 20 mg's for several years. Just a couple months ago I fell into a deep depression. I'm currently getting ECT treatments and am coming out of my depression. The doctor also upped my dose of Citalopram to 40 mg's. I've tried a few different antidepressants over the years and have found Citalopram to work the best. Citalopram is used for depression, panic disorder, & ptsd. I highly recommend ECT treatments, and Citalopram. Best wishes, I hope you get well.
Thanks so much, I will definitely look into ECT.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
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Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,801
Location
England
#4
Hi,
I'm so sorry about your dog and that you've been struggling so much.
Can you go sick from work to have a good rest etc? Have you tried a combination of drugs it works for some.
Dying isn't the answer, please if you feel suicidal get urgent help from your dr or A/E.
Which drugs have you tried? Was it just counselling you tried?
Tell your tutor so it's taken into account that your sick.
Take care
 
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PaigeTWoods

Active member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
29
#5
Thanks for your reply. I will have a break in May for 3 months so just waiting for that. I am taking 75mgs of sertraline (tried Effexor before and it didn’t work). I have only tried psychotherapy and that is it. I am considering telling someone in college about what is happening because I am falling way behind.

Anything else I could try?

I really appreciate your reply.
 

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