- Apr 25, 2020
- Southern California
Hey guys. So im 24 years old, in the navy. Didn't grow up in the best household. No abuse or anything like that. I have 2 sisters, we all have the same mom, different dads. Im just gonna get straight to the point. Im not the person I want to be. I met my wife about 3 years ago at school in the navy, basically we got married after a little less than a year of knowing each other so that the navy would send us to our next duty station together. She's super bubbly, social, very forgetful in some aspects, but gets stressed about things easily. She's 2 years younger than myself. I see myself as the slightly older, much more relaxed husband. But me being relaxed is often seen as not caring. I have recently noticed I have severe communication issues. I very much dislike talking. But only at home with her? Im so confused. When I go to work I can talk at normal volumes and even yell and feel comfortable. At home I speak at low volumes, I lose myself in my video games and alcohol in the evening. I wish I didn't have to drink to lower my inhibitions enough to talk with her about my issues. It's the only solution I know about right now. I don't really have time for counselors... Our house just flooded and our life is so stressful. All I ever want to do is nothing. I wake up at 8 am, and would be perfectly content playing video games until 7 or 8 pm and calling it a day. I also have this weird thing where... Idk im really over analytical about stuff. Like, okay if she gets upset or starts freaking out I can just be calm and it will even out. But that has gone to the extreme now and I am just so lethargic and complain about everything and have a short fuse. I know this is a lot to take in and there is so much I think about and am very self aware of my problems... I am just looking for a bit of insight or opinions on any aspects of this post... Idk. Im just so lost and so confused about how my brain works. It makes me angry that I can't get a grasp and do things differently but every day when I wake up I fall into the same routine of thoughts and feelings until I have some drinks and can reconnect with how I want to be. Any help or feedback is much appreciated.