Anxiety? depression? both? going insane? please help

[RobertH]

Hey, my name is Robert. I'm 17 and turning 18 in less than a month. I'm new to this forum and I'm not sure if i'm posting this in the right section so please advise me otherwise or move it.

I feel like I'm losing it but I think (hoping) it is anxiety rather than some serious mental illness. I started feeling like this 6 days ago, well that's when i think it started, that's when i know i felt unwell anyway but i wasn't really panicky.. i just felt like i was sick; I had extreme fatigue. It has now progressed to intense worrying of becoming insane or already insane and i'm literally really scared and I just can't stop worrying about it. A bit over a week ago before I started feeling like this I did have marijuana, it was a very small amount (like 2 breathes in from a bong) but i had the most horrifying traumatic trip which could be related to this. It felt like i was trapped and in another world; i felt derealisation and depersonalisation and that's what i have been feeling like a bit too recently. I have done marijuana about 3 or 4 time before then but it never really hit me much, no trips or anything like that, i was just happy or scared. The 9 or so days after the trip i felt like my own self but now i don't and i'm just really scared of everything and people, even family. I feel like a different person recently because of this and it's a really scary feeling and reading about all these mental illnesses on the internet just makes it worse i think. I try to keep telling myself that i'm fine and that it's just anxiety when i start thinking those irrational thoughts. I also feel extremely fatigued and it feels like my head is buzzing tonight and i feel slight dizziness when i walk around, i might have a headache or migraine. Last night i thought i had a tumor or that there was a bug inside my head eating my brain :\. It's also very hard for me to concentrate or remember things unless i try really hard. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow and that's scarying me.. i keep thinking It'll turn out that i'm crazy. I just need someone to really comfort me and someone to tell me that i'm not insane. I also feel depressed. I have no idea how i'm going to get to sleep tonight.. last night was pretty hard as i went to bed at like 9pm, that is really early for me but i was very tired. Initially i was worrying but i somehow feel asleep but only to wake up again at 4 in the morning after a dream which wasn't that scary really. Then when i was trying to go back to sleep at 4am it was quite hard i had to put all these rational thoughts into my head and tell myself i was okay and it worked, which was strange because i felt my real self again and i was happy but that did not last long.. anyway i'm babbling on here but i did get back to sleep and woke up at 9am feeling normal at first but then as soon as i remembered about my condition i started worrying again - i also noticed a new symptom in the morning which was loss of appetite because i made myself a sandwich took a couple of bites and didn't feel like eating the rest (i'm usually a pig when it comes to eating - it will be gone before i realise that i've finished eating it already and wonder where my food had gone). Please can someone tell me what they think it is and comfort me, this is freaking me out. I just want to feel normal again.

 

[wilzy]

Hi Robert - It sounds like you've experienced quite a lot of different things over the last few days, which understandably could be quite overwhelming!! Did you end up visiting the doctor? How did that go?

 

[RobertH]

Hi Robert - It sounds like you've experienced quite a lot of different things over the last few days, which understandably could be quite overwhelming!! Did you end up visiting the doctor? How did that go?

Yeh i did and she thought it was Anxiety, now i'm seeing a psychologist but it's not getting much better yet every day is a struggle

 

[wilzy]

Every day can be quite hard with a lot going on up in the head - Glad to hear you are visiting a psychologist. I do hope it begins to prove useful in eleviating some of the pain. It not abnormal for these things to take some time to heal, unfortunately.

 

[RobertH]

Every day can be quite hard with a lot going on up in the head - Glad to hear you are visiting a psychologist. I do hope it begins to prove useful in eleviating some of the pain. It not abnormal for these things to take some time to heal, unfortunately.

Thanks Wilzy, i do hope i get better too

 

[wilzy]

No problem Robert - Keep us all posted on how you're doing!

 

[jdohe]

more info please

i read your post and it seemed to focus mainly on fatigue. i have some questions for you and some pointers.

don't necessarily put too much confidence into what a doctor says. most of them either don't care about making you well, they are more interested in keeping you as a source of income for them by making you a patient. a fictional example of what i am getting at is going to a doctor for a splinter - they would prefer to prescribe pain medication, tetanus shot, mri scan, x-rays, antibiotics, and make you a long-term patient rather than just remove the splinter and leave it at that.

what is your weight and height? are you depressed about something? do you smoke cigarettes? do you have diabetes? do you get at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night? do you sleep during the day? do you have anything swollen or painful such as tonsils, teeth, abdominal pain? do you have numbness in hands or feet? any lingering infections or issues with toenails or fingernails? what kinds of alcohol do you drink and how often? (beer, wine, rum, vodka)

some of what i asked might seem silly - i'm merely looking for clues to what might be behind your problems - it might be medical, mental or a combination of the both

one comment about marijuana - i have never smoked it although many people have pressured me to try it - but i have been in rooms where it was being smoked and just the smell of it makes me feel sick and causes my thinking to become a bit irrational

 

[quality factor]

I find the negativity of the last post quite alarming.
When people post on this site asking for help and support, we try to encourage them to speak to a professional, usually their GP if they haven't already done so.
The attitude in the last post is enough to put any vulnerable person off from doing the right thing in seeking help.
Not all GP's are as have been portrayed.

QF.

 

[jdohe]

It should be alarming

It should be alarming, unfortunately it is mostly true. I have come across excellent GPs but unfortunately they are not the ones that make the big money. Sadly, if a GP doesn't exaggerate or lie to insurance companies they don't make a whole lot of money. In fact, the best GP I ever knew of was forced into retirement because he could not afford to pay his malpractice insurance.
Anyway, I think online forums are a viable tool to get useful information and realistic advice. If a person's own GP could fix all the problems, forums such as these would not be necessary. Personally, I am seeking out advice on getting help for my dad. He has been going to his GP for decades and that hasn't helped at all. All he has come up with is a couple of imagined diseases that he does not have and he also takes some OTC medications which are a waste of time and money and in some cases are dangerous. I think he needs to go to a mental health professional, not a GP. Hopefully someone in this forum can suggest what type of mental help he needs, suggest some possible medications that might benefit him, and offer some possible explanations and terminology for his condition so I can investigate them further.
One of the most obvious things my dad does is talk to himself, chronically - begging for help from jesus, etc. Searches on the internet typically say that talking to oneself is no big deal, however, my father is begging for help from jesus and the lord - and I don't expect either of them to come knocking at the door. My dad needs some real help from a qualified professional (not a gp) and he has failed to get it even though this has been going on for decades.
While on the subject of my dad, I could use some pointers on how I might go about getting him to go get some psychiatric help. Also, it isn't very easy to solve a problem until someone is shown that they actually do have a problem and acknowlege that they have a problem. The way things look now, he will continue to deny his true problems and dwell on nonsense.
Lastly, I haven't gotten a single response to my post about my father of 2 days ago. That is not good because he could lose his job due to the way he is behaving. I am surprised that he hasn't already been fired. As it is, his employer tells him there is no new work coming. Something better improve fast. If he loses his job, his problems will become much more complicated.

 

[Apotheosis]

I think that it's individual - Medical practitioners can vary wildly in competence & effectiveness. I have met decent people, & some truly appalling so called medical 'professionals'. People are individual as well. It may well be that for some people; it is best that they throw all their cards on the table & take whatever advice/medical treatment is given to them. The one time I honestly levelled with a psychiatrist; they kept increased the meds, until I was on the highest possible dose; & a virtual vegetable. I am very wary with what I say to shrinks.

Some people are best helped by others means, & by not going down the orthodox medical route. I have a friend who was sectioned in his late teens. He swore that he would never go back to psych hospital; & never have anything to do with orthodox psychiatry again. True to his vow; he is now in his mid 40's. Granted he has difficulties. On balance he has likely faired far far better without psychiatric intervention; over the past 25 odd years.

General medical help will consist of meds & not much else. If your lucky then you will get some very limited 'talking' therapy. Granted that for some they are satisfied with being prescribed all kinds of different drugs to take. For others they want to try other methods of recovery - they won't find such methods on the NHS.

 

[quality factor]

Hi, in answer to your query I think you'll find that it is not the Forum's policy to suggest medication for your father, that is up to a professional. Indeed ,medication may not be what he needs. Have you tried changing your GP? or is your experience of the GP's in your practice still as negative?
If your area has a Community Mental Health Team you could try approaching them for help.
I appreciate that your current experience with your father is upsetting and you sound as though you are desperate.
Try to keep an open mind when approaching a professional for help, a biased view is not going to help you get the help your father needs, he is the important one here.

Good luck,
QF.