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Anxiety being back with ex

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Olivere

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
1
Hello I'm new on this forum so not sure how it all works just yet.
4 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and I was devestated. I suffer badly from depression and began having panic attacks after this. I always loved him and wanted to be with him but made myself move on and function again.
Recently he has come back and said he loves me and has changed everything I have asked of him. I was so happy and we got back together, but in the last week I have felt physically sick and so anxious being around him and even when I'm not around him. I don't want to feel like this and I can't explain it. Maybe I should have taken things slower getting back together, maybe I'm scared of getting hurt again. I feel so sick. Any help would be really appreciated x
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Hello I'm new on this forum so not sure how it all works just yet.
4 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and I was devestated. I suffer badly from depression and began having panic attacks after this. I always loved him and wanted to be with him but made myself move on and function again.
Recently he has come back and said he loves me and has changed everything I have asked of him. I was so happy and we got back together, but in the last week I have felt physically sick and so anxious being around him and even when I'm not around him. I don't want to feel like this and I can't explain it. Maybe I should have taken things slower getting back together, maybe I'm scared of getting hurt again. I feel so sick. Any help would be really appreciated x
I have felt this in the past in a relationship.
It's a strange kind of come down, after being distraught with the breakup. Like the calm after the storm, without the calm, it's a strange feeling. I think for me it was all about fear, how close it had come to ending, and what damage had been done, my anxiety used to be at an all time high.
It does ease off, but not nice when it's around. I think it's all to do with our fears and insecurities, I think it was also because I still feared that could happen again and the fear of the devastating feelings I felt when it did.
I welcome you to this forum, it is a lovely place to come and chat to people who understand.
It will take time for you to feel a little more relaxed in your relationship and that is understandable after a break up, it's very unnerving for anyone, let alone someone like us that suffer with MH probs. I hope these feelings subside for you and you get some time over the coming bank holiday to live in the moment and enjoy the love your boyfriend has for you.
I wish you well, x
 
SarahD

SarahD

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
2,095
Location
UK
Hi Olivere. I too had a relationship where this happened, a long time ago. When you love someone and feel secure in their love, then suddenly they want to break up, it is devastating. You managed to get yourself on the road to recovery, then just as suddenly it turns out he does love you and everything is back on. Except that you have gone,through all the pain and disillusionment of the break up. Those feelings don't just disappear, even though you want to believe everything is ok again. At least not right away.

As unique1 says, things do settle down eventually. The thing is, life is full of uncertainties, we can never be sure about the future. We have to learn to live with that. But after what you have been through, no wonder it affects your anxiety.

I hope things work out well.
 
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