Anxiety because I feel trapped

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Suerte13cr

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
1
#1
Greetings everyone, I am new to these forums and have been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder and I have general social anxiety but lately anxiety of life as well.

I am 38 male and recently married, about 10 months ago. I try to keep physically active and for a while I was so happy with marriage and life, then I found myself swimming and feeling trapped.

Trapped by my wife, my recently acquired mortage, the fact that I had to move towns, that I am far from my mom and dad. I just got scared. There was also a message from my ex girlfriend which took me a lot to get over of that said she wished she could get back with me and that I feel was the trigger.

I am trying to now not think about it which makes me think of it more, and I get feelings where I dont enjoy any of the stuff I normally do, and I feel as though I cant stay put but I dont want to go places.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated:).
 
H

HoggiePoggie

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 24, 2017
Messages
214
Location
Scotland
#2
Welcome to the forum.
It is good that you are able to speak about your issues, have you told anyone else this? Your wife for example or even a doctor?
I can't really give advice on marriage since I am unmarried myself, so I feel that speaking to someone woth that experience may help you understand your own anxieties associated with it.
 
M

Mary_Lewis

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Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Messages
1
#3
Don't try to not think about something which you not want to think about, but focus your attention on something completely different. Focus your attention on things which are pleasant for you, that you want to experience, not on such things which scares you.
 
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tomghanini2

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Nov 13, 2015
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1,596
Location
England
#4
I can understand being trapped by a wrong decision whose consequences will be around for years, ham stringing me from many opportunities and forcing me to live a particular way that restricting and oppressive.

If this is you then first I'd say did you REALLY make the wrong decision. You got married for a reason, followed work to a new area for a reason. Maybe you've lost hold of all the +ve reasons behind your decision(s), and are thus feeling (darn it, can't scroll up on my phone) lost? trapped?
Maybe get back hold of them will make ya feel a little less arrrrgggh.

If this is not you then, erm, welcome to the forum. :)
 
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Charlala

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Joined
Nov 21, 2017
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#5
I agree that it would be a good idea to speak to someone about your anxiety, if you have a doctor or someone you trust who is impartial. If you feel comfortable doing so, I do think you should speak to your wife because she may equally be feeling the same as you and you may feel better by connecting with her on this, but not knowing your relationship, I wouldn't want you to open a can of worms if you feel it might make the situation worse. You know your partner best.

What I would say is you have been through an enormous amount of changes in a seemingly short space of time, and so it wouldn't be at all unreasonable to feel a little anxious in that situation, or to feel you're otherwise "trapped". I agree that your ex may very well have been a trigger, if people feel overwhelmed, it can be comforting to revert back to something that's familiar, even if it's not necessarily the best move for us.

I would say to give yourself time. Adjusting to all these different things may take a while so try not to be expectant of how you "should" feel. Talk to people about how you're feeling, and take time for yourself.

Hope you feel better soon!
 

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