Anxiety attacks over things that are completely normal for no reason. +Depression

[MrBond007]

Okay so, I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 18 (I am now 20). I am currently on medication (20mg Fluoxetine) and I also have aspergers syndrome.

Now that that's out of the way. I've been getting flushes of anxiety recently just completely out of the blue. I started worrying about things that weren't even bad in the first place. It's almost like I set my mind on some specific thing and start thinking about it constantly, whatever that thing may be, and start becoming worried about it even though it never even entered my mind as something to be bothered about before. Essentially I have been anxious about genuinely normal things recently, things that I cannot change or do anything about (for example, anxious over a video game. A video game you used to love playing and get such satisfaction from, but all of the sudden you start feeling anxious about it, or rather over an event/action in it that is meant to happen anyway such as the algorithm or method of something happening). As a matter a fact, they where things I used to appreciate at one point, now I am just worried about them for no reason whatsoever. And I just cannot stop thinking about them at all. God knows why! Now there is no stimulus for me having anxiety attacks. I can be perfectly fine and anxiety free one day, and then all of the sudden, the next day I wake up and then I think about/question something for 2 seconds regardless of how normal it is and then boom. I'm constantly thinking about it to the point where it's giving me anxiety for the rest of the day, if not days.

For the past 4 weeks, I have not been going through a good time at all. I am constantly at fear and constantly anxious now about virtually anything I start thinking about, regardless if it's normal or not. I've not been sleeping too well either. I've been constantly sleep deprived and my sleeping pattern is completely messed up to. For the past few weeks I have wrote a bunch of threads on this site about a various amount of things/issues I have been having recently, and it seems to be all just crashing down on me at this point. Whether that being my anxiety over things I can't change, worried about what will happen in future, stress with college, girl issues etc. For the past few days I've started to become really down and depressed. Since so many things where running through my head at one time, I just started to become miserable. I feel so unmotivated, unenthusiastic and tired as well as constantly thinking about things in a negative light for whatever reason. I took a day off of college yesterday (for the first time in ages) because of how I was feeling. Plus it is now half-term, so I can finally relax a bit more hopefully.

I am just fearful these "worries" I am having now are just temporary, and are just a result of my low-morale, proneness to anxiety at this moment in time. Sometimes I would often worry about something for a day or a few days, and then I just stop worrying about it. The worry may come back after a long while but chances are I would stop worrying about it again shortly afterwards. I'm just praying what I am going through now is just one of them moments

 

[plutosimple]

Hello MrBond,
My first post in this forum, but I wanted to say something as I felt like I could relate. What you are experiencing happens to me sometimes too, but it doesn't throw me anymore. The change is that I just don't care that much about it when it happens. Something I read at some point was that the mind doesn't work with "nots". You can't tell yourself to "not" think about a pink elephant... BUT the mind often can't resist new ideas placed in front of it. I use this to my advantage. When I can't get back to sleep some mornings or my mind is turning over and over on the same thing, I see it as my brain just getting bored. So sometimes I just let it happen, or I'll feed it something interesting - reading a book, listening to a podcast, etc. It sure would be nice if we could just turn it off sometimes, but I've never figured out how to.

Regarding sleep, the best way to get good sleep... is to not care about getting good sleep. I know, easier said than done, but you could try being ok with being tired as a start. If I can't sleep at night, I will often catch up some other time. (My favorite thing is to crash on the floor in the sunlight... kinda weird but hey, thats me).

Hopefully some part of that can help you. Nice job on taking a day off for yourself, by the way! It's great that you are listening to your body and giving it the rest that it needs.

 

[MrBond007]

Hello MrBond,
My first post in this forum, but I wanted to say something as I felt like I could relate. What you are experiencing happens to me sometimes too, but it doesn't throw me anymore. The change is that I just don't care that much about it when it happens. Something I read at some point was that the mind doesn't work with "nots". You can't tell yourself to "not" think about a pink elephant... BUT the mind often can't resist new ideas placed in front of it. I use this to my advantage. When I can't get back to sleep some mornings or my mind is turning over and over on the same thing, I see it as my brain just getting bored. So sometimes I just let it happen, or I'll feed it something interesting - reading a book, listening to a podcast, etc. It sure would be nice if we could just turn it off sometimes, but I've never figured out how to.

Regarding sleep, the best way to get good sleep... is to not care about getting good sleep. I know, easier said than done, but you could try being ok with being tired as a start. If I can't sleep at night, I will often catch up some other time. (My favorite thing is to crash on the floor in the sunlight... kinda weird but hey, thats me).

Hopefully some part of that can help you. Nice job on taking a day off for yourself, by the way! It's great that you are listening to your body and giving it the rest that it needs.

Haha thanks and welcome to the forum! I wish I could stop caring about my "worries" and be more stress free like I was 3-4 years ago when I was younger (I am 20 now). I just wanna be able to relax and enjoy myself again, but for the past few years it's been extremely hard. I've noticed when ever I first wake up, I am mostly prone to anxiety, panic attacks, depressive episodes, stress, etc. I only start feeling better about an hour or so before going back to bed, or if I am sleep deprived. This past week has been an absolute nightmare, I am just glad I have 2 weeks off from college because I honestly felt like I was going crazy. I've just been really depressed recently about the whole situation and I'm trying my best to take my medication (20mg Fluoxetine) on a daily basis, but sometimes I just feel so bad that I often take an extra one.

All I've been doing these past few days is stay in bed and watch YT because I just feel so burnt out from a bunch of things including college. I hate getting up and going out, especially when it's day and sunny. I often feel miserable for saying this but I much prefer rainy weather over sunny weather. Or at least weather that corresponds with my mood. I hate it when I'm going through a bad time and it's just so sunny and bright outside. It's one of the reason why I've been staying up during the night since I feel more at ease and at peace. But even still, I'm still always anxious and depressed. I've been like this now for 2 and a half years, and I honestly feel like I am wasting a way, what should be the best years of my life, my youthful years. I just feel like I wanna sleep forever because then if I am not conscious, I wouldn't have to think about being anxious or depressed. I just want this to be over

 

[plutosimple]

Haha thanks and welcome to the forum! I wish I could stop caring about my "worries" and be more stress free like I was 3-4 years ago when I was younger (I am 20 now). I just wanna be able to relax and enjoy myself again, but for the past few years it's been extremely hard. I've noticed when ever I first wake up, I am mostly prone to anxiety, panic attacks, depressive episodes, stress, etc. I only start feeling better about an hour or so before going back to bed, or if I am sleep deprived. This past week has been an absolute nightmare, I am just glad I have 2 weeks off from college because I honestly felt like I was going crazy. I've just been really depressed recently about the whole situation and I'm trying my best to take my medication (20mg Fluoxetine) on a daily basis, but sometimes I just feel so bad that I often take an extra one.

All I've been doing these past few days is stay in bed and watch YT because I just feel so burnt out from a bunch of things including college. I hate getting up and going out, especially when it's day and sunny. I often feel miserable for saying this but I much prefer rainy weather over sunny weather. Or at least weather that corresponds with my mood. I hate it when I'm going through a bad time and it's just so sunny and bright outside. It's one of the reason why I've been staying up during the night since I feel more at ease and at peace. But even still, I'm still always anxious and depressed. I've been like this now for 2 and a half years, and I honestly feel like I am wasting a way, what should be the best years of my life, my youthful years. I just feel like I wanna sleep forever because then if I am not conscious, I wouldn't have to think about being anxious or depressed. I just want this to be over

It sounds to me that you are placing a lot of expectations on yourself. My freedom came by realizing that everything I thought was important, was actually not. If I lost my job.. so what? If I was living on the street... at least that would be an interesting experience. My biggest fear was being in the state that I was in. When I finally faced it and let my emotions flow I saw that there was an end to it. (It took a few long weeks and it was the scariest thing I have ever done). These days, I don't really attach myself to my emotions much anymore. Sometimes I feel a certain way (anger, fear, shame, sadness) and I let it flow through me knowing that the emotions are not who I am and they are just a temporary state. I've become fully honest about who I am.... my hair is starting to fall out, I get nervous when put on the spot, I have a hell of a time remembering to zip up my zipper after using the restroom when I'm wearing a belt. (that last one is so embarrassing!) I don't like any of those things, but I'm tired of trying to hide them. Owning my faults is such a relief and so is being authentic. I feel like I'm finally ok with who I am and I don't really care what people think. None of that I tell you because I'm trying to impress you... I'm just trying to show you what is on the other side of the darkness you face.

I'm not a therapist, but I would recommend you find one if you aren't talking to one already. I openly tell people that I see a therapist and I'm not ashamed of it. Understanding how your mind and emotions work shouldn't be seen as a negative even though we all have been trained to think it is so.

Lastly, I wanted to tell you that everything you are experiencing is normal. Anxious in the morning - yup, me too. Annoyed when the sun is out and you can't enjoy it - yup, me too. Feel like you are wasting away - yup, me too. Feeling like your dream state was more relaxing that your awake state - yup... I always hated that. I take behavioral medication as well... and forget sometimes. <sigh>. I wish you didn't have to go through this either. It isn't fair and it isn't something I would wish on anyone. I'm not going to sugarcoat it and tell you that it is easy, but I will tell you that you aren't alone. You have a friend in the darkness.