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Anxiety and stress at work, because of lack of tasks

A

abrupto

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Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Spain
I started a new job 5 months ago. Previously, I worked for 10 years at a place where I think I was mobbed until fired.

What I experience now it's kind anxiety I think.
It's not stress, I'm not overworking or deadlines. Rather the tasks I should execute are so fuzzy and difficult to grasp that I struggle to do something meaningful.

I've been hired to lead and manage, I'm 54. However whenever I try to propose, understand organize etc, I'm always late, somebody else got there first. After 6 months I think nobody heard about me or even understood what should I do.

It's like: "idea, I should contact X to coordinate with him and setup next steps on the project". I call X, and he actually already organized calls with other people, meeting, wrote summary of actions to direct reports etc.

So I move to the next idea. But also there I'm late.

I feel worthless. I think my boss explained to me what to do clearly, but it's like I can't execute. People I interact with, also don't understand my role, or better, they don't understand what I'm capable of doing.
And I can't find a way of showing what I can do.
I'm technical, but I can't step in technical things. I should coordinate the project but I struggle to even understand when coordination meeting are happening and with which people.

To me this is a normal state, but people around me see my stress and anxiety.
At the previous job, I felt very similar, the difference is that I couldn't find what to do, because I was actively discouraged to do anything, until it end they told me I was useless and I was fired.
Now on this job, at least colleagues and the boss who hired me have a positive attitude toward me. Maybe my boss had higher expectation from me.

Sometimes I feel very nervous, and I would like this to end in any way.

Anyone has similar stories?
Most of anxiety related with job is with overload, deadline, performance.
I don't have a "performance" problem, because I have nothing to perform....
And no stress because, really, some days, literally nothing to do
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
667
I think I know what you mean. I have been self-employed for 24 years. Before that I had salaried jobs. Each of these salaried jobs started well, but after a while I would get the sense that my bosses were not very pleased with my work. I was never fired. I just moved on to another job and finally started my own and started a business, which has had varying amounts of success over the years.. Just over the last few years I have a recurring dream which is something like what you described in your present job. I dream that I have left self-employment and gone back to work for one of my previous employers. Things just never go right and I end up doing work I cannot do or I am just ignored by my boss and other staff and not given any work until I just have to leave. I have had the dream maybe a dozen times.

I, like you, am good at coming up with ideas. When a new project comes along I am keen to grasp it, come up with solutions and be creative to a certain degree, but to be successful in my job, being creative and coming up with ideas is not always necessary. Looking back back at my previous jobs, I now realise that most of my employers just wanted a safe pair of hands. Someone who who they could rely on, get along with other staff and be productive
 
A

abrupto

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Spain
the worst thing for me is that it looks always like a flaw in my personality. But everybody has flaws, so I don't understand why my flaws are bringing me to isolation.

It's like I should go to a psychologist, work hard on my personality, and only then I'll be able to get a job. Who is doing that? I mean, most of people get away at work with their regular-shitty personality, so why I can't?

And this goes very deep in me. If, for example, I feel I didn't communicate well, or I didn't make myself clear in the office I start to realise that also in my life outside work, I make communication mistakes. So it's like that my "flaws" start to hunt me everywhere.

I actually want to "get along" and be the person you can count on, as you say, but it's just that I don't fit, so people don't call me.
It's like, I'm not popular, so people don't invite me to parties.

Maybe this is the feeling I see in your story, not belonging, not finding connection.
In my case being recently fired, after what I felt like mobbed for years, has left a big scar in me.
 
Buff Schmoltler

Buff Schmoltler

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May 20, 2021
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There is nothing wrong with you.
 
Buff Schmoltler

Buff Schmoltler

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2021
Messages
156
Location
23505
People have been discriminated against for having skills valuable to a company. It is not their fault for being discriminatory. People just are the way they are. It is dangerous to try to change other people. If people see someone getting in their personal work space or it irritates them. It is even more “under the skin” when it involves personality. Just watch them from a distance to understand them. Explain in your defense to let them feel more settled. Find out what their values are. Read a book about how to get along. That is what I would do.
 
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