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Anxiety and new noisy neighbour.

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Dav3

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Joined
Apr 11, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Japan
I'm writing this sitting on the floor of my bathroom to escape the noise of my new neighbor. I feel so angry and worried I'm losing control. I want to bang on the wall and yell insults at him. I'm scared I won't sleep tonight or I'll lose my temper again. I'm scared I have no future, just anxiety and rage.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Dec 26, 2020
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775
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United Kingdom
Welcome to the forum. Can you not ask them in a very polite manner to calm the noise down
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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Apr 20, 2019
Messages
888
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England
If anxiety prevents you from asking them in person to keep the noise down you can always write a note and put it under their door or through their letterbox.
 
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Alexander Ypsilantis

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Mar 3, 2020
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Location
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I hate noisy neighbors, that's why I stopped living in apartments. I don't know about Japan, but in America too many of our apartments have thin walls. If the neighbor plays their stereo loud, you can hear it through the walls. After too many years of that, I bought a home.

I'm not sure what to advise you, but if it gets too loud too many times you can call the apartment management and tell them. You have a right to peace and quiet as well, that's what you are paying rent for. The management can send a general letter to the neighbor, so he doesn't know who complained-he only knows he has been too loud.

You have rights too, don't forget that. Don't be afraid of getting angry if someone is being impolite or discourteous, you have every right to be angry. Only, don't react emotionally-keep your cool and use the apartment management to get your message across. Or tell them if you don't get peace and quiet, you'll stop paying rent. I have done that when I was in a similar situation and it got INSTANT results. Let us know how it goes for you.
 
Ladyfair

Ladyfair

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Hi I feel for you I live in an apt building. The walls are thin and there's no privacy I have a neighbor across the hall who bangs her door. She has two dogs that bark it's awful. Management does nothing. I hope this can be resolved. Welcome!
 
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Dav3

Member
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Apr 11, 2021
Messages
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Location
Japan
Thanks for your responses everyone. I managed to calm down in the end. I complained to the estate agents who have an English helpline. I've had many problems like this before. I think it might be PTSD from my childhood. I'm not sure.
 
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Alexander Ypsilantis

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Mar 3, 2020
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Thanks for your responses everyone. I managed to calm down in the end. I complained to the estate agents who have an English helpline. I've had many problems like this before. I think it might be PTSD from my childhood. I'm not sure.
I don't like loud noises because when I was a child my parents quarreled all the time. Not some of the time, ALL of the time. I woke up to it many times. Today, even though I am 66, loud noises upset me and make me nervous and full of anxiety. But, I should not have to put up with loud neighbors. Anybody who plays their stereo so loud that the walls shake or the 'booming' can be heard several houses away is a complete jerk and an inconsiderate slob. There is no reason we should have to put up with that, none! Glad you took action, don't back away now-keep pushing until your rights are respected.

Are you still in Japan?
 
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Dav3

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2021
Messages
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Location
Japan
Hi

My parents fought like crazy when I was a kid too. I remember hiding in my room flinching every time I heard a door slam or one of them stamp up and down the stairs screaming at the other. It went on for years. Afterwards they'd be in a terrible mood for hours and my brother and I would get targeted. There was no violence between them and none from my father but my mother got rough with me a couple of times. Now when I hear loud bangs or stamping coming from a neighbor or housemate my amygdala gets hijacked and I go on the defensive. My brother was worse than my parents, when I hear those kinds of sounds I can associate it with his threats and aggression. He would run up the stairs yelling my name and kick my door open. Then the threats began.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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Location
USA
Hi

My parents fought like crazy when I was a kid too. I remember hiding in my room flinching every time I heard a door slam or one of them stamp up and down the stairs screaming at the other. It went on for years. Afterwards they'd be in a terrible mood for hours and my brother and I would get targeted. There was no violence between them and none from my father but my mother got rough with me a couple of times. Now when I hear loud bangs or stamping coming from a neighbor or housemate my amygdala gets hijacked and I go on the defensive. My brother was worse than my parents, when I hear those kinds of sounds I can associate it with his threats and aggression. He would run up the stairs yelling my name and kick my door open. Then the threats began.
You know the situation, continual tension being raised in that environment. My parents very rarely got physical with each other, I only remember a couple of times. But my mom would throw stuff to break it-dishes and stuff like that. My dad would start drinking when he got feeling depressed-which was often. That didn't help him control his temper.

They're both passed now so I try and be understanding-they couldn't have been very happy people and they were obviously products of their own homes. But, all that continual screaming between them wrecked our childhood-I'm 66 years old today and it still impacts me to this day. Like you, I don't like loud noises or erratic/hyper behavior in people around me-it makes me anxious. When I used to go visit my brother his two kids would get over-the-top laughing and yelling and I'd get anxious from listening to it. Had to leave and go home a few times.

I have ZERO tolerance for noisy neighbors and I had some bad ones when I lived in apartments and townhouses. NEVER again! Today, I own my own house and don't share walls, ceiling or floor with anyone. Sure, you can still have noisy neighbors next door, but that's not the same as having them above or below you blasting a stereo. And in a residential neighborhood you can call the cops if someone is having an outside party and get too loud.
 
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