- May 15, 2017
I've struggled with anxiety and depression all of my life. My anxiety shifts from one "genre" to another dependent upon the time of my life. I let my house get in a terrible state sometimes and it makes me feel guilty for my child. Like I can't provide a perfectly clean home. What is wrong with me? I honestly try I even bought a special book about tidying by a Japanese life coach. Sometimes I feel so demotivated and low I sit and do nothing for a long time, or I let my child watch TV and so as he pleases. I feel like an awful parent. Then I will have "up" days, where I clean, my son has balanced and healthy meals, we go to the park etc etc I'm a single parent and go to university and he goes to nursery 3 days a week. My mum who lives far away will take him for his holidays. His father will see him for one day a year. I recall a time where I loved being a parent and would do everything "right" Now I have fun sometimes but mostly in miserable. In fact I'm miserable when he is away too and I miss him. I've been on meds and had counceilling and I don't know where else to turn. I can't get out of this low mood. No matter how hard I talk to myself and snap myself out of it, it always comes back. I'm sick of this cycle I want to change.