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Anxiety and depression from past and not getting cured and dragged into more and more problems.

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Sparrows69

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Pakistan
Hi all.
Iam 26 years boy from india.
I have spent my whole life being gloomy and sad.i spent my whole childhood in mental and physial torture and abuse by my step mother. My father has diabetes for long due to which he oftens becomes aggressive and beat the shit out of me due to any negligence in studies.
My step mother accused me of sexual harrasment with her.but my father did not reacted on that as he knows she is wicked lady.she was always in wait to get chance to beat crap out of me. That was my whole childhood.i grew lack of confidence, anti social and did not share any thing with my family due to fear of getting punishment and abuse.
During my senior school i developed sexual problems like excessive wet dreaming and other ejaculatory issues.i did not told my family due to fear of punishment.my parents always scared me that if you developed any disease regarding sex you will not get treament.i got afraid and went to doctor who gave me big slip of medicines which were expensive like 300 dollars.
I did not had that money and my problem got ignored for like 2 3 years and after that i developed severe mental disorders like depression, lack of concentration, anxiety, sensory motor disturbances.after that i got courage to tell my father started treament of my sexual issues but nothing worked. Medicines work for like during use,when i leave them same issue raises back.
Now iam getting anti depressants and sexual disease medicines for last 3 years nothing is working. The drugs are destroying my kidneys and liver on scans and labs.
But i cant leave them due to my ejaculatory issues.i have developed erectile dysfunction from these ejaculatory issues.due to multiple drugs effects the erectiin was hidden.the doctor told me that if you have reached to me 5 years ago the treatment would have been of 1.month.
Now iam getting haunted from past that i should have inform my parents regardless of results.
If i have been got treatment on that time i would have more happy life and career.
Now iam working as doctor in a hospital. I would have been went to usa of i would nit have that issue.
It has ruined my life, both mentally and physically along with my career.
I think if this disease would not cure i will do suicide.
I am out of options right now.die at this young age. But i cant cope with demons in my mind.
I dont want to be a junkie or addict.i was topper of my district.now iam regretting my life.
 
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Johntron9999

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
I have sever anxiety and depression. It sounds like u developed a bad anxiety disorder on top of ur depression. I am just like you I was a worrier as a kid and I had bad anxiety and fears. Antidepressants worked only for a few years for me. One day they stopped working and I tried other SSRI medications but I'm having no luck with themworking again! So my depression and anxiety is very bad just like yours. I would look into ur health. Bad foods and ur lifestyle can cause inflammation and basically brain cell death. Look into suppliments like ginko, valerian, 5htp, omega3 and a bunch of other things to aid you. If ur depressed or anxious its because ur brain is not healthy. Trying different medications may help to but watch out for high levels of lithium if ur taking that. That deff can cause kidney issues. Low to moderate levels of lithium 500 and below are actually healthy for the brain. As for ur other issue with erectile disfunctional etc I'm not to sure I have not looked into that problem but I'm sure there is something u can do. Google google and more google maybe exercise will be a huge benefit with that condition?? I'm sure there has to be SOMETHING you can do??
 
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Sparrows69

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Pakistan
Exactly ssris are causing more harm than good. As my job requires pretty well amount of brain so i cant take ssris as tbey cause lack of concentration and i sleep like pigs.so iam taking gnc mega men supplements half dose every fortnightly for 2 years but from them i have developed stones in kidney and fatty liver.psychiatrist are of little help.i feel like i will not be able to have any partner and live more than 10 years. 😭😭😭😭😭
 
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Sparrows69

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Pakistan
Why is life so hard? Iam living purposeless life.nobody has time to hear out any one.
 
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Johntron9999

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2018
Messages
315
Location
Calgary alberta
Exactly ssris are causing more harm than good. As my job requires pretty well amount of brain so i cant take ssris as tbey cause lack of concentration and i sleep like pigs.so iam taking gnc mega men supplements half dose every fortnightly for 2 years but from them i have developed stones in kidney and fatty liver.psychiatrist are of little help.i feel like i will not be able to have any partner and live more than 10 years. 😭😭😭😭😭
Uhm just a thought maybe stop taking GNC mega man suppliments it might be causing issues. High helevls of protein and the additives in protein powders etc have junk in them and cause kidney and health issues. U got to try going clean and doing it right. Cook chicken, smoothies with fruits and vegetables and berries. Eggs, celery u name it just eat ur food and don't take GNC workout suppliments. The ones u should focus on are supplement like omega 3 and ginko and possably pre and pro biotics.
 
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Sparrows69

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Pakistan
Oh mega man is just blend of vitamins and some extracts like ginseng gingko like things etc. Not protein or workout things.
 
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karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
602
Why is life so hard? Iam living purposeless life.nobody has time to hear out any one.
im sorry youre having such a tough time.....i hope things improve for you soon
 
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DANIELLE92

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Johannesburg
Why is life so hard? Iam living purposeless life.nobody has time to hear out any one.
We are all here to listen to you. Many of us understand how you feel. Everyone is living their own busy lives. They don't take time to listen and understand what we are going through. Some just shrug it off even when you try explaining. They feel like we're complaining about nothing. But we all have a purpose on this earth. God is always listening to us. He's the one we can trust the most. You are not alone. We are all here to listen to you and try to understand what you are going through. Don't hesitate to reach out. You are important.
 
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