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Anxiety and dealing with nephews..

Marsie

Marsie

Member
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Greece
I think this might be pretty 'taboo' for some people but it's one of those things many of us just can't discuss with other people unless those other people experience it too or know what it's like.

I'm a woman, 27 years old to be exact and ever since I remember myself, I couldn't stand the demands and the behaviors that are required when dealing with children. Being with a children and spending time with them or 'watching' over them means that you have to be and act like a 'clown'. You need to be super attentive and focusssed on them and their needs, pay full attention to them all the damn time because they NEED that attention all the time, you need to entertain them and spend all the amount of energy that is in you just to keep them safe and busy and also fake interest in whatever they do which is the second thing that needs all of your energy. All in all, kids and spending time with kids for any reason, is a task that requires a huge amount of physical, mental and emotional energy as well as the ability and art of being able to 'fake it' all the time. And I just CAN'T stand that. It's the same thing that makes not be able to stand retail jobs. I just don't have the amount of energy and ability to 'fake' certain behaviors or 'entertain' the kid/customer with fake attitude and over-enthusiasm [email protected],etc..I love kids, I love knowing they are safe and happy and I love my nephews and niece even more since they\'re family. But I can't spend a lot of time with them because I don't have what is required for that. And what I hate the most is that everyone around me seems to think it's completely expected and natural for me to just be 'excited' about spending time with them and always be up for it and you know..how could I NOT want that?
How dare I NOT want to watch over my nephew everytime I'm asked to? And even though I have jokingly made it known that I'm not really into the whole 'kids role' thing, I've made it pretty clear, yet people around me still don't seem to get it that some women, no matter how few of us are out there, just DON'T WANT to spend a lot of time with kids. I enjoy playing with them a bit but that is limited just like my patience. From a certain poiint and on, I can't give them anymore attention or fake enthusiasm because it's simply too much for me. I have had intense anxiety and depressive thoughts since I was a child, my brain is constantly buzzing (which as we all know is exhausting on its own) and I have had to adapt into social 'roles' and mask myself for many years to the point of not even being sure of the real me. I exhaust myself on a daily basis with my struggles and being around kids and taking care of them is 5 times more exhaustion than the one I already experience or can handle. I know that it's in a woman's natural instict to like kids and I do like them, but having emotional health issues for many years, I think can easily affect one's natural behaviors towards certain things. And while I do feel protective and nurturing over kids in general, I don't feel the need or desire to spend a lot of time around them or even think of having kids of my own. I can't even imagine myself like that. Is it really that weird/bad to not want to be around kids..even my own nephews, a lot?
 
B

Black Despondency

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
277
Location
United states
I have two second cousins that I spent a very large amount of the last 5+ years of my life taking care of and sacrificed a lot of my mental health to do so. I did this for my grandmother and my aunt who took on the burden of taking care of them. They are the great nephews of my aunt that is taking primary care of them. Not a single person in
My grandmother would have probably lived at least 3++ more years if she hadn't also had a large part in taking of care them. They are the great nephews of my aunt that is taking primary care of them. Nobody more closely related to my second cousin's is fit to take care of children, both parents are in jail and their grandmother is not mentally fit. The entire other side of my two second cousins family are dirtbags.
 
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