Anxiety about the current lockdown ending

[winter24]

Currently feeling pretty guilty about feelings of anxiety that doesn't appear to be shared by the majority of people. Basically, while a lot of people are anxious about being IN lockdown due to cv19, I'm actually feeling anxious about it ending and life going back to relative normality.

I found "normal" life exhausting and stressful. I can honestly say that, personally for me, this has been one of the most relaxing few weeks of my life and I don't want it to end. There's no office (currently work from home), no visitors, no social obligations and for the first time in ages I feel like myself and the thought that I'm going to have to give this comfort up makes me really uneasy.

And contrary to how most people seem to be feeling, I don't feel at all lonely. I actually feel far more lonely when I'm with other people. I honestly think I could live forever without seeing another human sometimes because other humans mean expectations, small talk, reacting the correct way and saying the correct things (I understand this is also probably down to my autism, and not just SA).

Now, I do realise I come from a position of some privilege: I have a job that pays the bills, I have a garden I can get out and about in, no one I know is seriously I'll or has died, and I understand the current situation is awful for many. I don't wish others to suffer longer than necessary for my own comfort, if that makes sense, but I like my living situation at the moment. It suits me. Colleagues online are already excitedly talking about being back in the office, family/friends are planning "massive parties" when this is all over, and I just don't want it.

Does anyone else feel similar?

 

[karl7]

Currently feeling pretty guilty about feelings of anxiety that doesn't appear to be shared by the majority of people. Basically, while a lot of people are anxious about being IN lockdown due to cv19, I'm actually feeling anxious about it ending and life going back to relative normality.

I found "normal" life exhausting and stressful. I can honestly say that, personally for me, this has been one of the most relaxing few weeks of my life and I don't want it to end. There's no office (currently work from home), no visitors, no social obligations and for the first time in ages I feel like myself and the thought that I'm going to have to give this comfort up makes me really uneasy.

And contrary to how most people seem to be feeling, I don't feel at all lonely. I actually feel far more lonely when I'm with other people. I honestly think I could live forever without seeing another human sometimes because other humans mean expectations, small talk, reacting the correct way and saying the correct things (I understand this is also probably down to my autism, and not just SA).

Now, I do realise I come from a position of some privilege: I have a job that pays the bills, I have a garden I can get out and about in, no one I know is seriously I'll or has died, and I understand the current situation is awful for many. I don't wish others to suffer longer than necessary for my own comfort, if that makes sense, but I like my living situation at the moment. It suits me. Colleagues online are already excitedly talking about being back in the office, family/friends are planning "massive parties" when this is all over, and I just don't want it.

Does anyone else feel similar?

i relate to you totally. would there be any possibility that you could find a job whereby you could work from home.

By the way Welcome to the forum.....this is a nice place to come to!

 

[winter24]

Thank you!

I have wondered about applying for fully WFH jobs, though I do enjoy the bulk of my work (and do it so much better at home!). I've even emailed HR of my company saying how much I love working from home and suggesting they think about rolling it out as a more permanent thing in the future and save on floor space rent. Alas, from listening to my colleagues it seems like they're desperate to get back and sit in an open plan office with loads of other people. They miss the "banter", apparently. Sigh...

 

[Adas]

I agree with you for me lockdown has been a bit of a life saver as I'm not feeling to well at the moment going back to work seems unbearable to me at the moment well guess we will find out soon .

 

[YogiLife]

Currently feeling pretty guilty about feelings of anxiety that doesn't appear to be shared by the majority of people. Basically, while a lot of people are anxious about being IN lockdown due to cv19, I'm actually feeling anxious about it ending and life going back to relative normality.

I found "normal" life exhausting and stressful. I can honestly say that, personally for me, this has been one of the most relaxing few weeks of my life and I don't want it to end. There's no office (currently work from home), no visitors, no social obligations and for the first time in ages I feel like myself and the thought that I'm going to have to give this comfort up makes me really uneasy.

And contrary to how most people seem to be feeling, I don't feel at all lonely. I actually feel far more lonely when I'm with other people. I honestly think I could live forever without seeing another human sometimes because other humans mean expectations, small talk, reacting the correct way and saying the correct things (I understand this is also probably down to my autism, and not just SA).

Now, I do realise I come from a position of some privilege: I have a job that pays the bills, I have a garden I can get out and about in, no one I know is seriously I'll or has died, and I understand the current situation is awful for many. I don't wish others to suffer longer than necessary for my own comfort, if that makes sense, but I like my living situation at the moment. It suits me. Colleagues online are already excitedly talking about being back in the office, family/friends are planning "massive parties" when this is all over, and I just don't want it.

Does anyone else feel similar?

I feel exactly the same.
My mum messaged me to say oh did you hear Boris's speech? He's going to talk next week about a plan for easing restrictions yaay...and I just thought oh god.

I'm slightly different to you in that I have struggled with the isolation in some respects but I am equally very very anxious and I just find the world very over-arousing and there's too much stimulus, and being able to walk outside with not many people around and not having to worry about attending social ocassions and connecting with people and events online more has been really positive and I've been able to not put so much pressure on myself.

The thought of the restrictions easing brings me mixed emotions. I'm scared about readjusting to seeing so many people again given that being outside is so hard anyway. This feels like a break from the pressures of real life and I'm not looking forward to having to force myself to face them again.

 

[SchrodingersCat]

This is very very relatable. I, too, get to work from home, and I'm finding that doing so has eased my anxiety and depression significantly. The thought of the first day returning to the office brings so much dread.

Normally, my commute is maybe 30 minutes. But the whole process of waking up, walking to the bus, sitting on the bus with a bunch of people, walking under a bridge littered with needles is...overwhelming. It's draining, anxiety inducing, and monotonous. In quarantine, I can wake up knowing that I can feel safe at home. It makes getting out of bed possible.

I've shared positive feedback about WFH life in anonymous survey at work, but the announcement provided by our boss is that once things return to normal in our city, so will office life. No consideration of extending WFH allowances like many other companies are doing.

I want to stay at my job without sinking back into a routine that is so emotionally draining that it makes me wonder what the point of existing is. But, I don't know how to express this urgency to my boss without going into detail about my mental health. My boss/leadership team is very open minded and I'm sure if they knew this situation they would be happy to give me accommodations. But I don't know how to navigate that!

And then of course I'd feel guilty if I was given accommodations and that my issues might seem so small in the face of other things...

I rambled a bit, but the point is I absolutely relate @winter24.

 

[PerpetuallyStuck]

I just find the world very over-arousing

Yeah, I know the feeling. It is hard to function when there is so much distraction and temptation.