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Antidepressants

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TiamatTeemo

Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Spain
Hi, first of all sorry for my writing but I'm 19 and English is not my mother tongue (?). I'll try to explain how I'm feeling but my vocabulary is really limited.
I've been dealing with depression for a long time now. In fact, I don't remember feeling free of it. There were times in which it seemed to fade away but I was always frightened by the possibility of its return. A few months ago, it wasn't sadness anymore but emptiness. I couldn't find anything worth doing for a week or so. I live with my parents, that's why when it was time to eat I made the effort of faking a smile and be normal for a while. After that week I managed to find a psychologist and went to her place. The first session was free so I didn't have to tell my parents. After that I told them and they were really worried which only made me more anxious and guilty for having told them. They took me to a doctor whose name I don't know 😅 but it does electroencefalogramas in spanish, a test with electricity on your brain (?) He prescribed me antidepressants and my mother told me that those were drugs and I wasn't going to consume them and we were not coming back to that doctor.

Lately I've been feeling a total lack of energy which is very different to that emptiness because now I want to do things, I just can't and that is more frustrating. I feel like antidepressants are worth trying but I don't know how to talk again with my parents about them. I just don't see the point in doing nothing about my situation. Since I was a kid I've always told myself to keep fighting and near as I was to suicide, I don't have those thoughts anymore. I just hope that this feeling goes aways too but I have a lot of university years ahead (not being capable of studying much more 🙃) and I feel like I really need to earn a salary to pay for a psychologist and live on my own. I know I could do both, studying and working as many other people but I can't even do one of them and my parents would blame the job for the recent number of fails in exams.

Have you felt this two kinds of inability to do things? Are antidepressants really worth trying?
 
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TiamatTeemo

Member
Joined
Jun 25, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Spain
I forgot to say that luckily I have a really close friend with whom I can share everything and when she talk of hanging out, a suddenly rush of energy fills me. She is just a friend and I think it is more about going out of my house and talking about other things but is really frustrating to see how no matter how hollow I feel, a simple proposition of a call can change my mood so my problems are not serious. I don't know, it just make me feel as if I didn't have. problem at all but the rest of the day I don't leave the bed
 
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