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Another thread again, sorry.

Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Apr 22, 2013
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Liverpool
Ok... I honestly didn't think I'd get so many replies and people not wanting me to do something stupid. I still really want to do it. I've been sat in my room now for an hour staring at a means of serious harm. I don't know why but I can't do it??

I've not wanted anything more than this, but, what fallen has said to me about my little sister and neice has me thinking about them so much that I think I physically can't do it right now and the support off of everyone else has been amazing.

I feel I have nothing to live for so why now??

I think I'm falling for someone on here which is not healthy I know, I feel special when I talk to this person even if it's not all of the time, something I don't feel in real life. I don't know what the point to that was but I needed to say it. (I'm not saying any names).

Anyway... Even though I'm still at a 9 right now, I think I'm going to give everything to my bf and phone my CC tomorrow. I don't want to but if I can't do this simple thing now, I might aswell at least try some help?? Or maybe I'll just hide everything until I'm feeling brave enough?? I don't know.

I'm sorry for all of the bother I have caused to everyone on here :( I really am :(

Stay strong and be safe xx
 
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Hellbilly

Hellbilly

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Aug 24, 2012
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Cumbria uk
Hey angels
Well done its a good call
I'm glad
And you know that we can all sort it out for you now
And will continue to support you in the futurem
 
Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Joined
Apr 22, 2013
Messages
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Location
Liverpool
Hey angels
Well done its a good call
I'm glad
And you know that we can all sort it out for you now
And will continue to support you in the futurem
I'm going to try, I can't promise though because I'm still at a 9 right now so I'm hiding everything for now.

Like I said I will try though.

Stay strong and be safe xx
 
K

killswitchon

Guest
I'm going to try, I can't promise though because I'm still at a 9 right now so I'm hiding everything for now.

Like I said I will try though.

Stay strong and be safe xx
I'll continue to pray... :)
 
Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Apr 22, 2013
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Location
Liverpool
I'm regretting this and everything else already.

F**K!
 
Stripeysocks

Stripeysocks

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Jun 11, 2013
Messages
515
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UK
Hi Angels,
I'm sorry I haven't seen your earlier thread but have just seen this one now. I'm sorry you are feeling like this but I'm glad the support you got on here has been so good. I'm so glad you are feeling like you might be able to give everything to your bf and call your CC tomorrow (I'm not sure what cc stands for - counsellor of some sort?). It sounds like a good plan. Maybe talking to your bf might help too? Or if you are in the UK you can call the Samaritans to just talk it through and talk through your options. I'm sorry if I am doubling up on anyone else's advice from earlier.
I just really want you to be safe and not be suffering and most of all I want you to be here still with us. You can see how valued you are here. I hope that helps a little bit to know that.
Be kind to yourself Angels. Keep posting if it helps.
Big hugs, Stripey xxx
 
F

fallen

Guest
Don't regret anything, Angels-sounds like you've made a couple of good decisions. You got through today and you will get through tomorrow and will continue to get through it until everything seems easier, I'm sure.

:hug1:
 
Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Location
Liverpool
Hi Angels,
I'm sorry I haven't seen your earlier thread but have just seen this one now. I'm sorry you are feeling like this but I'm glad the support you got on here has been so good. I'm so glad you are feeling like you might be able to give everything to your bf and call your CC tomorrow (I'm not sure what cc stands for - counsellor of some sort?). It sounds like a good plan. Maybe talking to your bf might help too? Or if you are in the UK you can call the Samaritans to just talk it through and talk through your options. I'm sorry if I am doubling up on anyone else's advice from earlier.
I just really want you to be safe and not be suffering and most of all I want you to be here still with us. You can see how valued you are here. I hope that helps a little bit to know that.
Be kind to yourself Angels. Keep posting if it helps.
Big hugs, Stripey xxx
Thanks Stripey,

Please don't apologise.

CC stands for care coordinater, she's with the mental health team.

I made a thread yesterday, I can't talk to my bf really, he's not been supportive of me lately. I think that may be why I'm falling for someone on here :(

I've decided to keep everything, I'm still at a 9 and I want a sense of control over whether I live or die.

I don't like posting threads about my problems normally, I've had a really tough time lately and it was a mistake to post here in the first place I think.

Stay strong and be safe xx
 
Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Messages
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Location
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Don't regret anything, Angels-sounds like you've made a couple of good decisions. You got through today and you will get through tomorrow and will continue to get through it until everything seems easier, I'm sure.

:hug1:
Thanks fallen :hug: it really means alot.

Tomorrow is going to be the biggest test, I've got to face something I'd rather not talk about and I'm going to be home alone all day because my bf starts his job tomorrow.

I'm going to try and refrain from starting threads tomorrow aswell.

Stay strong and be safe xx
 
F

fallen

Guest
Could you maybe plan your day tomorrow so that you have things to distract yourself, if you find that works. Puzzles and computer games sometimes can do the trick-has done for me in the past.

And if you need to start new threads tomorrow-there's no problem-nobody judges you here-if you need the support or even if you just want to chat that's what we're here for. I'll probably be on and off here as per usual so feel free to pm me if you need to.

Take care. :hug1:
 
Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Messages
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Location
Liverpool
Could you maybe plan your day tomorrow so that you have things to distract yourself, if you find that works. Puzzles and computer games sometimes can do the trick-has done for me in the past.

And if you need to start new threads tomorrow-there's no problem-nobody judges you here-if you need the support or even if you just want to chat that's what we're here for. I'll probably be on and off here as per usual so feel free to pm me if you need to.

Take care. :hug1:
I have games on my phone but I have a short attention span so nothing distracts me for long, I can cope with this because it's small posts so they don't need much attention but apart from that, nothing works.

Thank you fallen, it really does mean alot.

Stay strong and be safe xx
 
Stripeysocks

Stripeysocks

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Joined
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Messages
515
Location
UK
I'm sorry you feel it was a mistake to start a thread about your problems. I'm certainly not judging you and I'm quite sure nobody else is either. It's hard to open up when you are not used to doing that and then it's easy to get scared and feel vulnerable about it. I know. Maybe if you have a difficult day ahead of you tomorrow it would be good to allow yourself to post here if you need some support. I guess just see how you feel tomorrow and do what you need to do at the time. It sounds like you need to feel that you are in control at the moment and that things that are happening i.e. not being supported by your bf and this stuff tomorrow are adding to make things feel out of control for you. It's not a nice place to be and that's why we are here to support you as best we can. So please, don't be a stranger.
Hope you get to talk to your CC tomorrow and that it helps.
Keep safe. :hug:
Stripey xxx
 
Angels_Fire

Angels_Fire

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Joined
Apr 22, 2013
Messages
1,031
Location
Liverpool
I'm sorry you feel it was a mistake to start a thread about your problems. I'm certainly not judging you and I'm quite sure nobody else is either. It's hard to open up when you are not used to doing that and then it's easy to get scared and feel vulnerable about it. I know. Maybe if you have a difficult day ahead of you tomorrow it would be good to allow yourself to post here if you need some support. I guess just see how you feel tomorrow and do what you need to do at the time. It sounds like you need to feel that you are in control at the moment and that things that are happening i.e. not being supported by your bf and this stuff tomorrow are adding to make things feel out of control for you. It's not a nice place to be and that's why we are here to support you as best we can. So please, don't be a stranger.
Hope you get to talk to your CC tomorrow and that it helps.
Keep safe. :hug:
Stripey xxx
Thank you Stripey,

Everyones kind words have been very overwhelming.

I don't like to admit I'm weak and need help. I've fought so long on my own, I raised both of my sisters, one us nearly 5 and the other is only 1 year younger than me, I started raising her when I was just 5 years old and the youngest when I was 17. I've never liked to admit I can't cope so I've always liked a sense of control over things.

I will try and post here and I hope so to but I can never get in touch with her when I need to. Here's hoping anyway.

Thank you again.

Stay strong and be safe xx
 
C

Callalily

Guest
Hugs to you :hug1: Needing help doesn't make you weak, it sounds like you have had a lot on your shoulders during your life. It's ok for someone to help you for a while rather than you helping others. We are only able to help others if we are in a good place ourselves.

I'm sorry your boyfriend is not supportive of you, that must make it really difficult and increase your feelings that you are going through all of this alone. I am guessing you have tried speaking to him about it all?

Feeling you are falling for someone on here must be confusing for you too. I would suggest you talk about it with the person involved.

My inbox is always open if you want to talk through things. Sometimes it can feel very scary opening up on the open forum, I understand that. There is no shame in posting threads though, everyone here is entitled to the same level of support and you are no different. If it helps you, then I think it is worth it :)
 
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