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Another 'struggling' vent session

Fluffymum

Fluffymum

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Nov 16, 2010
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1,113
Location
Essex
Most days I don't feel right but I always seem to be so hungry and so tired, I've had my Citalopram increased to 20mg from 10 and have been taking this for about 3 weeks now, I had a couple of days of feeling better but now feel pants again, and I'm so horribly anxious I wake early hours of the morning panicking and over thinking and I can't sleep.
Probably doesn't help that I don't see anyone other than when I'm at work, when I'm at home I feel so isolated but I don't really enjoy seeing people, I find it extremely hard and can't switch off my automatic mask.

I can't really explain what's going on to my therapist/cpn, I can never remember what I want to say or be able to sum it all up, any tips there?

I'm just moaning really, I don't like being at home looking after my daughter who's nearly two even though I love her, and I don't really want to go to work where it's so stressful and shift work is rubbish. I don't even have the energy or motivation to make some lunch I get so fed up with that same routine every day.

God I sound so moany and weak but I really do struggle and I don't know why :cry:

How is everyone else doing?
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
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13,624
Hey Fluffy,

I don;t think you are moaning, just needing to talk to someone. Its terribly isolating when you feel the way you do. I feel isolated too, but sometimes can;t bare to be around people. I hope that the sleep gets better, it could be the citalopram that is causing you extra anxiety, have a word with your doc.
Keep on venting, people are here to help and listen.

KS
 
H

happyhappy

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Apr 27, 2008
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uk
Hi,

you said you don't know what to say to your therapist? What I do with my doc in between appointments is every time I think of something I would like to say to him, I write it down on a piece of paper....well....actually, I mostlt type it on the lap top as it is always on! Then nearer the time I condense or expand on the points and when I take it, I sometimes hand it to him or sometimes keep hold of it myself as an agenda. I think this could work for therapy too.

As to your home/work feelings. I 100% understand. When I was working....shifts too....I hated being at work as it was so stressful but found being at home with my little un stressful too. Now I am not working and I would long to be back there!

Do you have to do shifts? I was told they are not best for BP and when I was working, I got my hours adjusted. I still had to do shifts but never an early following a late. They were the killers for me.

HH
x
 
T

TrickyRicky

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Sep 13, 2011
Messages
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Location
Calgary, Canada
About not remembering what to say in appointments, what I do is I keep a little notepad in my backpocket and whenever something happens or I think of a question I write it in there. I even keep my mood chart in there! I find it very handy, even for other things as my memory seems to be horrible.
 
Fluffymum

Fluffymum

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Nov 16, 2010
Messages
1,113
Location
Essex
Thank you yes I have been writing things down but I seem to have bits of paper everywhere and then I loose them, I like the idea of typing on the laptop, that would make sense for me too as I am on here a lot and like being on here.
Yes I have to do late earlies, I don't get much sleep on them, I get from work at 9 then start at 7 the next day which could be worse but it's horrible, I used to do full time and would often work 2 weeks non stop doing nights earlies lates late earlies etc, it was awful sometimes I'd go into a world of my own and turn into a robot just getting up and going to work.
The nurse at occ health said I shouldnt do nights but they eat a load of my hours up and I don't mind them so I've carried on, got one tomo night. Thing is I work all week sometimes at work and at home with my daughter and then have to work the weekend it's tiring,but if I don't workI feel likerubbish here even if I go out it doesnt switch off this strange dragging feeling, I dont know what it is.
 
calypso

calypso

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I do understand that nights eat up the hours, so give you more time off. But nights and mental health and meds, really don't mix. It can be very upsetting to your inner rhythms. Do you have a handbag? I just wrote notes on a pad or on bits of paper, and shoved them all in it till the next session. But then I took up doing drawings. That helped much more, and I could get across a lot more. Sometimes, with the drawings, I could get a lot more across too.

But all my thoughts with you with the anxiety and lack of sleep. xx
 
W

white-witch

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May 24, 2009
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Dark side of the moon
Hi Fluffymum,

I don't think you sound 'moany or weak'..you are just a young mum struggling with shift work and the sheer slog of looking after a two year old, add to which the early morning waking/panics and you are bound to feel pretty 'pants' most ppl would!
I am also not suprised that you feel tired and I get 'hunger and tiredness' muddled up at times for some reason.

I suppose I am lucky that I see a CPN on a regular basis and she writes down what I say about how I am feeling then when I see the Pdoc she reminds me. I guess a little dictaphone could help... you could shout out your frustrations to it (even swear at it) and then 'edit' and write down your concerns for the Pdoc!

I remember well feeling frustrated at times looking after my 2 yr old...by then I had a 1 yr old also and thought those days would never end...they are now 30 and 31 and I now ponder where those years went!


Take care xx
 
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