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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

another newbie

K

ke511

New member
Joined
Jul 19, 2008
Messages
3
Location
Halifax UK
Hi guys,

I'm another new member and this seemed like the right thing to do.

Quick introduction....hmmm well I'm actually not sure what's wrong with me I just know that there definitely is something. Was diagnosed with clinical depression three years ago at the age of 16, tried counselling with little success, if anything it made things worse as talking about the issues seemed to make me dwell on them even more. So then it was the Prozac, and I wont lie it did help enormously. So much I felt "better" after a few months.

Came off this in January but it just seems to have been a downward spiral since then. I wont exaggerate and pretend that my problems are overwhelming etc. They dont stop me leading a "normal life." I am still successful, I still have drive. I still occassionally enjoy myself. It's just that on a day-to-day level, there seems to be this huge distance or chasm between me and everybody else. It's as if they're speaking a different language and I just can't understand. And it's awful. I don't see the world how everyone else sees it. It's hard to explain.

I don't have any real "friends." I dont think I ever have. However if you were to speak to anyone who knows of me they would probably describe me as confident and fun-loving. Strange how easy it is to put on a front.

These days the distance between them and myself still prevails. I struggle sleeping. I swear there is something or someone that wants to get me at night. So I sit awake for most of the night just staring to make sure I am safe. There's this image of a white room or some space with a white background. I'm either small or I am crouching. To my left there is this huge black figure, shaped like a human but without limbs or a face. It doesn't speak or make any noise. It doesnt even move. But its presence is enough to frighten me. I do not know where I have seen this thing, but I think thats what I am afraid of at night. I close all of the curtains, and turn on all of the lights so nobody can get me. I am constantly checking round every corner and behind every door in case something is there. Because of this I am always alert and on edge. Its a nightmare really.

Ha yeah so much for a quick introduction! And as you are probably aware now (if anybody does read this) I can ramble on for hours!

Hope you are all well.
 
j_lol

j_lol

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 31, 2008
Messages
108
We like ramblers here

Hello and welcome:hug:
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
Hey there :welcome::welcome: I hope you gain lots from here like I have :clap::clap:
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Ke, welcome to the forum! :welcome: Don't worry about going on a bit - you should see some of my rambles. This is a good place full of really supportive people facing similar issues. I can empathise with you on that sense of being somehow seperate from the rest of the world! Do post when you feel comfortable and take care.
 
Libra1

Libra1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
515
Location
West Midlands
Hi Ke and :welcome: to MHF, where you will find lots of friendly supportive folk:)
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Hi Ke, write what you need to write.

Perhaps things aren't "overwhelming" but it's affecting the quality and quantity of your sleep, you're feeling detached from society, you constantly put up a front to cover how you feel. You said Prozac helped and then you stopped - hardly a person on here that hasn't done the "I feel better so I don't need the meds anymore".

Let's hope we can give you support and encouragement and a way forward.
 
Fedup

Fedup

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
1,937
Hello and :welcome: to MHF :)

Ramble away there is always support around here .
 
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