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another help thread



Active member
Nov 29, 2008
i guess i need a bit of advise (or i wouldnt be posting at this hour)

so i have just gotten home from a gig and i dont suppose anyone will be on at this hour but i have had the worse day imaginable

so i get to the gig late (around and hour late but it wasnt my fault) and the bass player starts giving me this lecture (even tho he made us all late to a gig last weekend that was in another city) about how we have to take this seriously and we cant just piss about when we feel like it, which realy put me in a bad mood and i felt like kicking his ass, even tho i knew i wouldnt solve anything i thought it would atleast make me feel better.so i grabed him by the throught and pinned him against the wall and started shouting at him, "if he had a problem with me, maybe he shound just come out and say it" i know it wasnt big and it wasnt cleaver but i was really pissed off. so then my girlfriend of three years starts takin his side and sayin that i shouldnt be late and that im a pr*ck. so to cut a long story short i am now home and alone without a band and wiothout a girlfriend and feeling realy shitty.

all the way home i felt like ending myself but i dont wanna give up. i feel life is testing me and wants me to give up, but im not a quitter , or at least i dont want to be

sorry iof knowone wants to read this but i just have to get it out there, otherwise i shall expode



Well she isnt much of a gf if she takes his side you are proberly best off without her, sorry it did all go wrong for you though but I would possiably say that anger is positive and I think that you were agrivated by the other person enjoy your music there will be other bands, take care escape you look such a cheerful person.


Active member
Apr 8, 2009
I guess all they are asking you to do is be a little responsible and turn up on time? Sometimes people expect more from an individual than they expect of themselves

They might think you treat them with contempt by turning up late :unsure: (even though it wasn't your fault)

But honestly, let it blow over and deal with it when your feeling more calm :)
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Well-known member
Oct 25, 2008
I hope you are ok today?
Surely your bandmates and g/f can understand everyone is late sometimes.... thats how life is, no one is ever going to be on time for everything.

You were not in the wrong defending yourself.

Vent your feelings on here anytime, someone will always be avaliable to help and support you. I think its very hard for friend etc.. to understand what is going on, at least here we all have a reasonable understanding of how each other are feeling. Its a good community to be part of.

Please take care and I hope today is better for you.

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Ok you where late and your band mate was obvously feeling frustrated and angry and he told you so but that is not a reason to resort to violence.
Maybe your girlfriend took his side more because you had him against the wall by the throat.
We all get angry sometimes but we have no right to put our hands on someone else in violence.
Sometimes it is a bigger person who says sorry and takes it on the chin.
Now you need to contacted your girlfriend and your band mate and apologise to them both for the way you reacted and you can all move on.
I don't think your girlfriend was so bad for taking the other guys side, I love my husband more then anything in the world but wouldn't be very happy with him if he had someone against the wall by the throat for very little reason and would say so.

You are not a bad person but you do need to learn to control your temper and be more tolerant of others.
Don't think about ending it because of one silly fall out, apologise and move on.
Hopefully one day both you and your band mate will sit about laughing at this.
Take care and let us know how it all turns out.


Apr 21, 2009
I think Emmy above said it all. You lost control and I think you owe your bandmate an apology, and maybe your girlfriend too, you probably scared both of them quite a bit. You just can't do that to people whenever you feel like it.

But people do lose control sometimes, you just gotta accept that you were in the wrong, and take the consequences. It will make you a better person.


On reflection maybe if you apoligised to the other person though you were provoked this person didnt need to give you such a hard time I personally want to kick S*** out of people that just constanly walk in front of me all the time I dont know whot stops me.

You havent been on n replied escape does that mean things have got better for you?

Take care Frank
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