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Another day

T

Tomtom

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
21
Feeling nothing but despair and crushing sadness again this morning. Dragging myself off to work. The thought of seeing people with my fake smile is making me feel physically sick. Loneliness, numbness and suicidal thoughts return.

I missed a friends wedding this weekend because my therapist told me I was to unstable and a risk if I went. My ex partner was there, she can be a trigger. This has forced my diagnosis and state of mind out into the open. For all to see. I have lost control over my illness.

Does anyone else feel like they have lost control? Or just numb from what seems like day after day of despair. I sometimes wish for manic phases? At least they time flies by.

Thanks for reading
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I can relate to your post as will, I think, most people with bipolar disorder. Feelings of losing control and despair are regular features of my life and, as is the way, they come and go at random uninvited intervals. It's never easy to cope with.

Are you getting any help? Talk to someone if you are still feeling this way. Don't try to cope with it alone or let it go on for too long. I hope you're feeling better soon.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,000
Location
australia
you sure got my attention....!

your description is lucid and emotionally comprehensive...

I am beyond your situation and therefore I can become occupied and concerned by yours.

if all I can do is say that I care....?

because I can do that...

I don't want to lie and say that I understand...

but if my contact helps you arrive at the place that I can see but that you cannot!

I will sit with you until that place arrives...

and I guarantee that it will....
 
T

Tomtom

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
21
Thank you for your replies. They do mean something. It's been a long two weeks but I am feeling safer and better at the moment. Maybe because summer is here. Who knows, not questioning why too much
😀
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
No, make the most of it. I hope that you continue to feel better and safer.
 
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