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Another day on my sofa/motivation

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Emmorolo

New member
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Kent
Hi everyone I'm a newbie here, but asking for any advice on motivation.I work part-time and have a family but when I'm not having to work all I want to do is lay on the sofa because I have zero energy/motivation for anything else .I move when I literally have to.cook dinner,go toliet,quick tidy up but that's it.infact it's now a family joke that I am always on the sofa.i can't be bothered with anything else and it's been like this for a good few years now.and just lately even I'm getting fed up with myself constantly on the sofa with no desire to do anything else.i am 53 and peri menopausal.
How do I change , I know it may sound weird but the thought of leaving my cosy sofa and blanket does cause me to feel bit anxious and panicky. I would love to be one of these people with boundless energy , who love cooking/gardening/cleaning but I'm not and the thought of doing anything like that stresses me out even more.
Any ideas/advice

Xx
 
vanish

vanish

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Staff Member on Leave
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Sep 29, 2014
Messages
4,047
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The Land of Oz
I'd like to be one of those people with boundless energy too, @Emmorolo. I see my mates on social media doing things like marathons, kid's concerts, dinner parties and the like. I am sitting there scrolling through largely ashamed I am not like that.
Is it possible you actually have anxiety? We can't diagnose you on the forum (of course) but if you're really concerned about this lack of energy and anxiety/panicky feelings, I'd be having a chat with your GP. I'm not saying you have a condition at all, it could be caused by anything this lack of energy (even menopause, I know because I'm perimenopausal myself), so best point of call would be the GP.
 
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Emmorolo

New member
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Kent
Thanks for replying I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and was on fluxotine , I tried by myself to come off them which gave very bad anxiety and now I'm back on Escitalopram.
I just wanted to c if they was any advice or tips just get me off this sofa .how do I motivate myself I just can't seem to do it.
I spoke to my local Mind and they are due to call me back to help me deal with my anxiety.
 
vanish

vanish

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Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
4,047
Location
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For me at least, I make a list of things I need to do, even if it is just little reminders like "wash hair, washing up, hang out laundry". I try to do small chores here and there, but don't chastise myself either if they don't get done.
I know I struggle with motivation to get to the gym, despite joining with great intentions. I aimed to get there three times this week... I haven't been once. I'm 'forcing' myself to go tomorrow. I weigh up the pros and cons of not getting something done for most stuff and have to be my own taskmaster sometimes. I hate myself for it, but after I've accomplished the smallest task, I allow myself to give myself a mental pat on the back. For instance, today I finished an assignment for college, I went to a shopping centre for lunch and went to an art gallery. Given, I had a support worker to help motivate me (otherwise I'd probably still be in my pyjamas even though it is now 10:30pm the following night).
I'm also working with my psychologist on re-writing my narratives and learning to be my own friend with myself (I won't say love myself because that sounds so narcissistic to me). Do you attend any sort of therapy? Just knowing you have an appointment to go to sometimes will get you off the couch and you never know, it might help re-write your narrative too. I know this re-scripting has certainly helped me with motivation.
 
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Iamastar

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
24
Location
London
Dear, Emmorolo and Vanish (I like your names)

When i'm experiencing severe lack of motivation. I just go on forums and try to fill my empty empty heart with empathy. It's makes my heart pump and my blood rush, my finger whizz across the keyboard and i find purpose. To vanish I would, sadly, have to say that writing lists and weighing pros and cons never help me. I just cant be asked, even when there is sound evidence for why i should be doing something. It's funny, but true that when nature calls i sometimes scream until i get up and go pee! To Emmorolo, I suggest finding out where your passion lies and doing that. Even if it's just gardening, go get yourself some boots and make those fingers as green as you can!

Iamastar Xs
 
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