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Anorexia and lies

A

ape130

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Joined
Oct 18, 2021
Messages
35
Location
Utah
Hey all, I'm new here. I've had an eating disorder for a good 20 years now, though it didn't get really bad until about 3 or 4 years ago. I've been to treatment centers twice and am currently on out patient care with a dietitian and therapist. They say that my mental state of mind and patterns of behavior is the worst it's been, regardless of the fact I was eating better. Anyway it's frustrating. Right now what I'm having a hard time with is lying to my treatment team. I've been cutting corners with food by omitting sides or having smaller portions or missing snacks. It's just here and there right now, but then I lie about it to my dietitian who I report to nightly on food intake. My eating disorder is pushing to cut even more corners on a regular basis. I don't know what to do because I guess I haven't decided if I want full recovery. I don't think I'm going to be any happier. If I had it my way right now, I wouldn't eat any snacks, and I'd skip a meal a day. I know if I let my Eating Disorder take over more right now and continue lying, that if my dietitian finds out she will likely quit on me.
 
A

ape130

Active member
Joined
Oct 18, 2021
Messages
35
Location
Utah
You need to be honest and tell the truth you are doing more damage to your health
I feel like if I tell the truth about what's been going on I'm going to have some major consequences and that's what I'm afraid of. Although there are natural consequences to my health if I continue, like you said...
 
M

Mary26

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Feb 28, 2018
Messages
319
Location
USA
I think it's common to feel accountable to your dietician or anyone on your team and although there's comfort in that you can also feel controlled, which could strengthen the ED thoughts if that makes sense. It might help to shift your perspective from being a patient to a consumer because at the end of the day you hired them to provide information and support and the only person you're accountable to is yourself. Try keeping your focus of attention on why you hired them and what you want. Their job is to help you reach your goals.
 
A

ape130

Active member
Joined
Oct 18, 2021
Messages
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Location
Utah
Thank you, that makes a lot of sense to think of the fact that I hired them and I'm paying them to help me. Sometimes I do feel controlled, especially by my dietitian because she has so many rules I'm supposed to follow, and consequences for everything. But at the end of the day I know she's fighting ED and she has my back, and I do believe she's one of the best in her field.
 
BEASTMODEWARRIOR

BEASTMODEWARRIOR

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Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Messages
992
Location
New Jersey
Hey all, I'm new here. I've had an eating disorder for a good 20 years now, though it didn't get really bad until about 3 or 4 years ago. I've been to treatment centers twice and am currently on out patient care with a dietitian and therapist. They say that my mental state of mind and patterns of behavior is the worst it's been, regardless of the fact I was eating better. Anyway it's frustrating. Right now what I'm having a hard time with is lying to my treatment team. I've been cutting corners with food by omitting sides or having smaller portions or missing snacks. It's just here and there right now, but then I lie about it to my dietitian who I report to nightly on food intake. My eating disorder is pushing to cut even more corners on a regular basis. I don't know what to do because I guess I haven't decided if I want full recovery. I don't think I'm going to be any happier. If I had it my way right now, I wouldn't eat any snacks, and I'd skip a meal a day. I know if I let my Eating Disorder take over more right now and continue lying, that if my dietitian finds out she will likely quit on me.
just tell your dietiacian your having a hard time, its not easy trust me, i feel like i have a eating disorder too, im trying to eat healthy but its extremely hard i want to eat candy and junk food, fast food. im try to find something exciting about be healthy like i can get huge with muscle and be in exciting shape actually this is what i do, i think you need to find some enjoyment and fun in eating, find a way to enjoy your food and want to eat. find the things you like to eat and keep those, dont eat things you dont like to eat whats the point you will feel miserable, make life better by finding exciting things to chew on its better than nothing trust me. noone perfect, your dietiacian will understand, your trying thats what matter. you will figure it out with dietiacian. make it fun and enjoy it somehow even if it seems so blick.
 
B

boblano

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Oct 22, 2021
Messages
211
Location
Sacramento
a lot of the time anorexia is not just fear it can be physiological where your organs aren't detoxifying your blood or other things, for example it's choline (from egg yolks) that helps detoxify your liver and it's B-complex vitamins in peanuts that help you produce gall bladder juices and it's sweet fruits like prunes and peaches that help ur spleen a little bit, and water can really interfere with digestion if you drink too much which exacerbates fullness. vitamin k can reduce your water retention from any salt you accidentally eat too much of, from greens
 
B

boblano

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Joined
Oct 22, 2021
Messages
211
Location
Sacramento
eggs are the best they decrease my anxiety so so much. I can't be without them
 
A

ape130

Active member
Joined
Oct 18, 2021
Messages
35
Location
Utah
just tell your dietiacian your having a hard time, its not easy trust me, i feel like i have a eating disorder too, im trying to eat healthy but its extremely hard i want to eat candy and junk food, fast food. im try to find something exciting about be healthy like i can get huge with muscle and be in exciting shape actually this is what i do, i think you need to find some enjoyment and fun in eating, find a way to enjoy your food and want to eat. find the things you like to eat and keep those, dont eat things you dont like to eat whats the point you will feel miserable, make life better by finding exciting things to chew on its better than nothing trust me. noone perfect, your dietiacian will understand, your trying thats what matter. you will figure it out with dietiacian. make it fun and enjoy it somehow even if it seems so blick.
Yes that's true. I think we all need to remember that food has no moral value so there's no such thing and good or bad, healthy or unhealthy foods. We just need variety to balance things out is all. Too much of ANY food can hurt your body!
 
BEASTMODEWARRIOR

BEASTMODEWARRIOR

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Messages
992
Location
New Jersey
Yes that's true. I think we all need to remember that food has no moral value so there's no such thing and good or bad, healthy or unhealthy foods. We just need variety to balance things out is all. Too much of ANY food can hurt your body!
stay positive your alive thats awesome remeber that, life is the best gift your not dying in any means your just have small thing you got to work on nothing much. Always remeber when things are not going your way, im alive today so you can do things you want to do. your body is fine, the body is a surviving fking machine it doesn't want to die it meant to survive i hope you understand, a little eating disorder will not kill you really really from it. i hope thing helps you put things in perspective. it took millions of year to evolve it has so many mechanism you can't even imagine, having a mental illness puts everything in perspective of negativity and its difficult to see the reality it makes it that much harder. im paraniod that my body is dying but proof is in the pudding my dear, my blood work is fine. you will be fine and you will defiantly fix this problem sooner or later, i love to eat so i don't have a issue im overweight in fact so i have a problem of eating so im the opposite, i can't stop eating food i want to eat all the time. this is my small problem now but im alive.
 
A

ape130

Active member
Joined
Oct 18, 2021
Messages
35
Location
Utah
Yes that's true, we're alive and we can become more "alive" by taking small steps each day.
 
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