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Anger

keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
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I am so furious, a social worker came with another member of the crisis care team today.

They asked me how I was I said o.k and tired (but I'm not o.k really). Anyhow she said why was I back with the c/care team because I was o.k last time the signed me off with them (I wasn;t and neither did one of the other key workers think so this time - he said my case was handled poorly and I shouldn;t have been signed off and they didn;t give me enough support). So she then started going on like this:

It could be p.m.t or the menopause or some other physical thing - which I said no I don;t think so. I then explained why I thought I was back because I had been manic and the g.p saw this as a danger to myself and others - she then said well I shouldn;t be driving and I needed to inform my insurance etc because my insurance would be invalid, she is so direct and blunt the whole time with me I am losing the plot - so I snap and say I haven;t had my licence revoked and who said I cannot drive I hadn;t been told by a court of law I cannot drive! The other person then chipped in that they had said I should not be driving....ARRGGGHHH
She then asked me if I had any other questions and I said I couldn;t think because I was angry and she replied "Well all I can say is it doesn;t take much." Well so they go and I am left puching the window and so angry I don;t know what to do.
They are already here under duress as I had a choice of c/care or sectioned -I feel trapped - I am SO ANGRY - I will not be dicated to, if this is how it is then I'll just stop taking my medication.
I'm not coping and I can't phone them now can :cry::mad:
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Think I have posted in the wrong place....again
 
S

schizolanza

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Hi Keepsafe.I just had my license revoked today because I admitted to my pdoc that I've used cannabis about 4 months ago.Now I'm in the shit,can't get to work or go shopping for food.
I'd carry on taking your meds.Wouldn't want to give them the excuse to say you are non compliant or unstable.
 
KP1

KP1

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When I was at work I was compliant because I wanted to get a favourable medical report. Now its for the DVLA and I nearly blew the psychiatrists report because I took myself off meds that weren't helping. I suppose the main thing is that we discuss everything with the psychiatrist or mental health team in order to cover ourselves and hopefully get help that we need even though at times it can be incredibly frustrating.
Its good to let out some anger Keepsafe I expect your team are used to it.
I hope they sort out the right sort of treatment for you.
KP
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Thanks both, I sound like a petulant child o.m.g.

I will carry on with the meds I don;t think I do have a choice and you are both right. Sorry that you lost your licence.


I know I shouldn't allow myself to get so angry over something like that but it just feels like I have no rights anymore and I never really did anything wrong.
This s/worker came last time I had c/care and she was very flippant then - something along the lines of well yeah shit happens get over it!

I had my psychology appointment yesterday and she will carry on seeing me for now to put some coping strategies in place with me because she doesn't think I am stable enough a.t.m to start the other therapy, but she was really nice and I cried a few time when we touched on my past, but she did say that I may be offered e.m.d.r. so I was reading up about that, but it all sounds a bit too much for me where I am right now. I wish I could just get a handle on something because as I am now I know that I am just going to get myself in to further trouble. The psychologist said the main priorities were to keep me out of the hospital and to make me stable - then this woman comes and I'm all over the shop again. I wish I could have a rest, I'm so really tired of all this fighting.

Sorry for being a pain, do I just have to suck it up - I guess so - I know I am just making it worse for myself when I am like this, it's all a cycle - anger, explosive, crying, s/f, calm, self loathing, failure and all sorts of negative rubbish.

I sick of constantly contradicting myself.

First I want meds, then I don;t want them - I want help, but I don;t want the crisis team, I want the c.b.t but I don;t want to talk. I want to go back to work, but I can't cope. I don;t want to go back to work cos I'm scared I'll become unhinged which is highly likely and I'll get the sack. How can I just blow my top over some woman saying well it's your responsibility and get a bus or taxi.

I had a flashback I am so all over the shop I then s/f'd - perhaps anger is one of the triggers I don;t know I'm so exhausted.

sorry for ranting and sorry everything is always so negative - I wish I could be a better person.

:cry:
 
KP1

KP1

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Keepsafe I can understand the contradictory feelings I go through that a lot of the time. It seems to be part of the course with depression.
Hope you are ok this evening.Speak to you tomorrow.
KP
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Thanks and thanks for taking the time - I know you're not feeling too good yourself - hope you have a good nights rest
KS
xxx:hug:
 
Libra1

Libra1

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Hi

Hope you feel a bit better tommorow keepsafe :hug: Let's hope the c/t are a bit more supportive to you :flowers:
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hi keepsafe do you have a uservoice service in your area I find this a great help because the way I was spoken to the other day at least I told the uservoice worker and he is such a good contact because hes heard my story with he mh trust :)thumbsup:since coming out mh 2008)and so therefore he is the one person who knows how many times I havent made a formal complaint.take care james:)
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Aw thanks LB1 and JD, I'm not sure what a user voice is so I don;t know if there is one. I don;t even know who is my key worker? I went swimming this morning, got docs appointment at 11.30am - am anxious and when I think about the s/w am still angry and am wondering whether it will be the same woman who comes today at 3.00pm so that is making me a bit shaky. Still not punched any windows yet ...teehee ooopppss
:redface:
:hug:x
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hi keepsafe how did your apontments go user voice is like a halfway house for complaints it helps me because once I've off loaded to my development worker I dont need to make complaints and its all logged about the bad treatment and poor service theres pals aswell which is kind like a little bit more serious for making complaints it all helps because then you dont use up whot could be negative energy, its good that you are able to go swimming, have you talked to your gp about exercise on prescription, i'm getting mine for free I was fully expecting to pay a contributation.
Take care james:D
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Hello JD,

It was a strange appointment I went through agitation, to giving up to happiness all in a space a a short period of time, then I went out and got drunk :redface:
Still the point of my new meds is to try and stabilise my moods so perhaps I have to wait and see - at least it wasn;t the horrible s/worker that came the day before.
I don;t know about user voice - perhaps I'll ask the question, but I did mention that she had wound me up.
I got told off today for drinking - bah! Naughty
Went for a walk today - that was ok. Have to pay for swimming, don;t think I'm entitled for anything free - although getting free meds a.t.m. because I am under intensive home based therapy.
Thanks for explaining the uservoice - I don;t like complaining but I also didn;t need that. (oops I seem to do enough)!
Hope you are ok and enjoying your weekend
KS
:)
 
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