I feel like my anger is the only thing keeping me alive sometimes. I have so much anger in my heart, it has been piling up since childhood. I'm angry because of all the things my father did, at some point I was able to forgive him but his actions brought my rage back. I'm angry because of all the people that bullied me through my whole school life, if I could give them at least 1/3 of the pain they caused me I would do it without hesitation. I'm angry because I did stupid things out of desperation, I just wanted to be accepted and have a normal life. It feels like I'm keeping a big wild beast on a leash and not letting go is painful. It would be so easy to give in and end all my pain and suffering, but if the anger faded, even if it took years, I would never be able to forgive myself for the things I would do. It just feels like the center my existence is rage.